"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Analyze this chicks peculiar behavior for me

Serg897

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This is gonna be somewhat detailed - Im looking for an honest critique of my game with this one.

So the past few weeks I've been hanging out with this girl, ran into her again in Baltimore even though I sorta knew her from where I did my undergrad - a coincidence reunion sort of thing.

I did the standard operating protocol on her (got her number, called her up a few days later, went on a date). Went well and I got the kiss close, but it was strange. She pulled away at first, then remarked about how "awkward she was". I went in pretty fast, so I simply took it as a sign that she just wasn't expecting it. I simply waited until later and then tried again (being more direct about it this time - I just asked her if I could try the "kiss maneuver"). Cheesy, I know - but it seemed to work - she says sure and kisses me.

Ran into her again a week later at a school function, and had fun with her - but it was a public event so I couldn't continue the sexual escalation, etc. Some time later (more than a week) we went on date two.

This is when it gets noticeably iffy. We are at my apartment before going out, Im teaching her how to dance/playing darts, listening to music, drinking beer, just having a good time - I go in to kiss her again....but she pulls away, AGAIN. I joke around about her playing hard to get, and this is when she drops the LJBF bomb.

Im thinking "I dont care, I have other options.", and I tell her its cool, and we still go out to the place (swing dancing - so I can meet other women and get more phone numbers easily).

I essentially remove her from my list of prospects after that and plan not to call her as much.

But then she ends up calling/texting me. Several times in the past week. We finally meet last night because of where we usually go on Mondays to dance. Its simply slightly confusing, because the sexual vibe I get from her is unmistakable. A LOT of touching. She seems to be seeking all this attention from me. She readily seems to want to make plans for the next time. Then she asks if she can buy me a beer! (and of course I say yes :D ) I got a new number that night from a girl I met and I know she saw it.

Thats more or less a short version of the story, but I believe you can get the jist of it. I would LIKE to get her to be more than what she has been, but regardless if she is going to buy me beer and bring cute friends like she has to go out dancing she isn't a bad person to hang out with as a friend.

I already have some ideas as to what the answers may be, but here are my questions:

a.) Am I in the friends zone?
b.) If the answer to a.) is yes, is it irreversible?
c.) What should my future course of action be?

Thanks
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Tiguere

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Limit your availability.
Drop the phone chats.. Downgrade her to texting only and respond hours later. Hang out with her only when you know alcohol will be involved. And act like its your first date again disregarding her ljbf speech.
 

Funlol

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I had the same thing happen to me. I got the ljbf chat from a girl I had already been making out with. I ended all contact with her and she also never contacted me again... Oh well... Just only talk to her if she contacts you, don't ask her out.. Make it look like u have lost interest. If u do go out with her, continue the sexual escalation. Let her know what's up
 

CarlitosWay

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You have your head on straight, I would keep doing what you're doing and just keep pulling numbers and messing around with other girls. She might come around later but all I could see you pulling off is her becoming a **** buddy. Seems like she's just another horny woman that doesn't want anything real "serious".
 

Diaforetikos

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CarlitosWay said:
You have your head on straight, I would keep doing what you're doing and just keep pulling numbers and messing around with other girls. She might come around later but all I could see you pulling off is her becoming a **** buddy. Seems like she's just another horny woman that doesn't want anything real "serious".
^^^
This!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Kailex

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Serg897 said:
She seems to be seeking all this attention from me.
And there's your card...

You answered your own post, as to what is going on with this sultry friend. She just wants the attention with none of the physical intimacy... ah, yes a boyfriend without the benefits...for you, but all the mental and emotional benefits for HER.

Needless to say, this does NOT benefit you if you try to actively pursue it.

I wouldn't spend a SINGLE dollar on her. NADA.
I'd go all Rescue Mission on her buttocks and have her pay for all of my stuff whenever we'd hang out.

Like others have said, continue what you are doing, and have this girl at the very bottom of your list.

a.) Am I in the friends zone?
b.) If the answer to a.) is yes, is it irreversible?
c.) What should my future course of action be?

Thanks
a) Friend-zone her until further notice. Who cares if you are in her friend-zone?
b) It is, but would you rather spend time, energy and resources trying to get out of a friend-zone or would you rather have a clean slate with new women?
c) Keep doing what you're doing and don't fall in too deep for this confused chick. She's definitely not "Grade A material".
 

Serg897

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Thanks for all the replies, gentlemen. I'll keep her generally on the back burner and I wont be giving her much attention. She said she wanted to hang out later this week but I don't plan on contacting her until perhaps next.

I'd go all Rescue Mission on her buttocks and have her pay for all of my stuff whenever we'd hang out.
This is precisely what I plan to do. Its actually quite interesting how many times she has offered to pay for drinks. At least there is that! :up:
 
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