Analyse this date: Have I blown this one?

[jafyk]

Ah guys I feel sick in the pit of my stomach right now because I'm thinking I might have blown this one for not going in for a kiss. As I dropped her off I was gonna park my car assuming that she'd want me to come in but she asked me to just drive up to her apartment complex door. We talked in the car for a few mins. I reached out and ran my hand through her hair and made a comment (excuse for kino, lame, I know)but I wasn't feeling like that kissing moment was there; so, I didn't go for it, I hugged her instead (but before that she said she'd give me a call and we can go see the rest of the city).I oopsed again and let her walk to the door and i did catch her looking back as aI drove off. I had mentioned to her about seeing a movie at her place when we had decided to set up the date (At the time she said we'ill see how it goes) My plan was that during the movie I'd make all the kino and moves but since she didn't invite me in and give me that triangle look (eyes to eyes to kips back up to the eyes) I assumed she wouldn't be wanting a kiss either. I don't know why I feel so horrible right now. She seemed to have a good time during the date.Well, I'm sure you need a lil background history preceeding to the current events.


Well, this lady who I will call Bella for the purpose of this post. Anyway, she's 30 and she's only been in town for a lil over a month. We met playing pickup soccer. So, I decided to make the approach when I overheard her say to one of the guys that she was new in town and didn't know anybody besides ppl from work. I asked for her # and she asked me to call her right away so she could have my # this was on friday. So, later I decide to break the 3 days rules and call her to ask what she was doing on sunday. She said she was free so I invited her out to my game( She was supposed to go see some other game but I told her she could watch half of that and half of mine, she chose to watch my game only) and also planned for a date. We spoke on the phone during the weekedn and she told me she had a girlfriend, so I asked her if she was bi and she said yes but that her gf was in the military overseas and that she's been with guys before. That even when the gf comes back she lives in a different state and would only visit her that so it's just her here. I don't know if she was hinting. Sunday comes around and she comes to the game but because she had some other problems at her home, we had to reschedule for the date for wednesday (i forgot I had some other commitment on wednesday) So, I call her back and reschedule for tuesday. She calls me later saying she needs to reschedule because a coworker had invited a group of them out and she didn't want to pass up on another opportunity to be better acquainted with them. She suggested that we could meet upon thursday which is today. For the date we were supposed to go to my school's art gallery. I pick her up and I stopped by a garden where we walked and talked before going to the gallery. We went to the music building and while there I asked to see her watch I held her hand (excuse for kino). After that I took her to a sports bar just sp she could see it briefly. We played air hockey and she beat me twice. On our way back she said that she'd like for me to show her the rest of the city another time during the day light cos it was getting dark by now and she had other things she had to take care of at home.

 

[MascaraSnake]

I just skimmed your post, but it looks like the date went rather well (enough positive signals). I'd have slipped in a soft (but subtle) kiss on the cheek/neck/whatever when you hugged her. You might see her again, maybe not...be prepared to next her, though.

 

[Metaphysical]

Ah guys I feel sick in the pit of my stomach right now because I'm thinking I might have blown this one for not going in for a kiss.

Not kissing a woman after a great date tells her you do not like her as more than a friend. She will be hesitant to go out with you again if you do not kiss her.

Okay. Now I just read she is 30 years old.

How dare you let a woman her age hang up and play these stupid kindergarden games on her?

Man, women her age are as straight forward as an arrow. If she wants something she will go for it. She liked you from the looks of it and you did not step up to your role of being a man.

You could have probably boned her right there and then, especially since her hormones are probably RAGING hard for a young guy like you. She is probably sick of dating all those boring, balding, middleaged accounting farts and wanted a young buck for a change to get some extra mileage out of that "old" pu$$y.

Bro, you shoulda boned this woman by now. The age of childhood high school games is over. You are an adult now.

 

[DeePee]

Don't sweat it. She's older, so not in the "I like dating" mentality. She might be wondering, "why didn't he kiss me? I thought things went well." I've done it on purpose before. Question, when was the last time you spoke to her? Cause you don't want to initiate communication too soon. Just let her think about the date (provided it really was memorable to her, which it seems like it was), and if she doesn't call by day 2 or 3 get in touch for date #2.

On date 2, you should close in for the kiss, just make sure you have even more kino than the last date.

 

[jafyk]

So, from the looks of it this one can still be salvaged?
To Metaphysical if she had invited me in then I might have boned her besides this date took place today and tomorrow will only make it a week. The fact that she didn't invite me is what threw me off. Besides, what if she's the guy in her lesbian relationship cos she almost dresses like a guy except her hair is shoulder length ( her t-shirt wasn't the body hugging kind neither were her pants and her shoes looked like those steel toes guys wear) oh and guess what? On the way there I realized I forgot to take the condoms.
to DeePee how do you get into these kino mode especially with a lady that seems she might have been the guy in her lesbian relationship (I'm sure if she wore the right clothes she'd look very femine , my point is she doesn't look like a butch from looks and manerism) Well, let's look at it this way I let her off easy this time. Next time, I'm gonna go for that kiss,lol. I gotta.

 

[Metaphysical]

man the way you described her is unattractive.. why'd you go out with her if she looked so manly and dyke-ish?

 

[DeePee]

I'm assuming she's attractive... at least HB6? Anyway, who cares if she may the one who wears the pants in the relationship. I have gay and lesbian friends, and let me tell you. It doesn't matter who wears the pants or who's the *****, they still possess the hormones that make them guys or girls. You can get into kino modes in any situation with anyone. You could probably do the same with your guy friends and they'd probably wonder if you all of a sudden turned gay, and it'd work.

Anyway, just keep it simple. Talk to her, and put your arm or hand on her to emphasize a point. Point out key features of her body, clothing, accessories. Playfully nudge her. Ask if she's ticklish, and wait for a good opportunity later to throw her off guard with an attempt (regardless if she is or isn't ticklish).

DON'T FORGET CONDOMS!

 

[jafyk]

man the way you described her is unattractive.. why'd you go out with her if she looked so manly and dyke-ish?

She doesn't look like a man. It's just her dressing that's all. You know how those butch and dykes have lost their shape and walk like guys she's nothing like that.

 

[jafyk]

I'm assuming she's attractive... at least HB6? Anyway, who cares if she may the one who wears the pants in the relationship. I have gay and lesbian friends, and let me tell you. It doesn't matter who wears the pants or who's the *****, they still possess the hormones that make them guys or girls. You can get into kino modes in any situation with anyone. You could probably do the same with your guy friends and they'd probably wonder if you all of a sudden turned gay, and it'd work.

Anyway, just keep it simple. Talk to her, and put your arm or hand on her to emphasize a point. Point out key features of her body, clothing, accessories. Playfully nudge her. Ask if she's ticklish, and wait for a good opportunity later to throw her off guard with an attempt (regardless if she is or isn't ticklish).

DON'T FORGET CONDOMS!

I'd take your advice. I'd say she's a 7 besides she has a sense of humor . She has a cool countenance and says she's open to anything (activities) At the sports bar I don't know why she asked me if I drank. I told her I did socially and anything but beer and she agreed with me that she can't drink beer.

 

[jafyk]

Update, we played soccer today and she later texted me asking me if I wanted to come to watch a soccer game with her on friday. She stated the facts, time, day and place. To which I responded "is this an invite?" and she replied "yes..." Ok, maybe it was obvious but I don't like to assume.

 

[DonGorgon]

She is a freak ho... FACT... She is playing the innocent "new in town" game that freak hos love to play.. Women like her tend to go for smooth player types who are very slick .. i dont think you cut it.. and 30 year olds are very very horny .. they have been on millions of dates and would rather cut to the physical BUT you have to make them comfortable enough to stop pretending they are not freak hos...

TURN UP THE HEAT FAST OR SHE WILL THINK YOU ARE IMMATURE!

 

[jafyk]

She is a freak ho... FACT... She is playing the innocent "new in town" game that freak hos love to play.. Women like her tend to go for smooth player types who are very slick .. i dont think you cut it.. and 30 year olds are very very horny .. they have been on millions of dates and would rather cut to the physical BUT you have to make them comfortable enough to stop pretending they are not freak hos...

TURN UP THE HEAT FAST OR SHE WILL THINK YOU ARE IMMATURE!

My my my, we shall see won't we? What you say is a generalization but time will tell Don. What does the Gorgon mean or represent?

 

[WaRpEd]

You only made a few minor errors from the looks of it. I've only spotted one major error after skimming over everything...we'll get to that in a second.

However you're doin good thus far. Especially if you're new to the game (I don't know if you are or not). But bear in mind she does have a girlfriend. Hah, she's in the army too so she can probably kick your butt (she'd better be able to or our tax $$ or going to waste)...Hey, then again theirs a good chance she might be into something a little more fun...lol who knows.

Sounds like your doing good thus far though. Try not to screw up to bad.

Oh yea, you're major error... YOU GIVE A CRAP Yea you shouldn't do that. Don't be so hard on yourself no matter how the date turned out.

 

[tsmith2334]

Oh yea, you're major error... YOU GIVE A CRAP Yea you shouldn't do that. Don't be so hard on yourself no matter how the date turned out.

+1. Warped, you're quickly becoming one of my favorite members here.

I've learned if there's one thing girls will respond positively to, it's your willingness to move on / not care about the outcome.

 

[Metaphysical]

I agree to DonGorgon. She is a 30 year old after all which means you should be more direct than you would be with those little 18 year old girlies. In other words, you should have already went to her house by now.

Poor woman probably thinks you don't like her cause you aren't even trying to make a move on her.

 

[jafyk]

+1. Warped, you're quickly becoming one of my favorite members here.

I've learned if there's one thing girls will respond positively to, it's your willingness to move on / not care about the outcome.

Ahem guys some more updates and confusion. As I last reported she had invited me to a soccer game without giving me the details, which she said she would later. Later this evening she texts me with the info and she says "be there or be square" I didn't know what that meant so I asked her what the expression meant. She said if I didn't come I would be being being square which meant not being cool. To which I respond with what is supposed to be C&F
Me:"Oh, I see but I am cool don't you see it? Ok, fine. Perhaps if I'm sitting next to you, you can see and feel it better"
Her: "So b there and b cool! or don't go and be 'square' and uncool.
Me: "omg! lmao Bella u r killing me here. I never figured watching soccer would make me cool. I always thought if I had an assist or scored a goal I'd be cool but this low standard you're setting is not good for the soccer biz. But then again this isn't about me is it? (I figure she partly wants me there because she doesn't want to be there alone) I hope to be there...better pray then, lol.
Her: " u r silly...ok...im tired...going 2 bed...talk 2 u later"
Me: It's not even 9pm and u r not even going to invite me? Well, have sweet dreams of me.
Her: "haha nope...sorry 4 u...I will be having sweet dreams of my girlfriend..."
Me: "There u go again...better yet u should dream of all 3 of us. Do you have a pic of this soldier girl?"
Her: "no no. it's me and her that's it. as long as you can remember that we can be friends...yes i have pics but not on my phone."
Me: "Lol, My my aren't u assuming a lil 2 much here? What makes you think I wanna be ur friend or that you qualify to be mine. Didn't know you were ****y and funny too. Female friends are more trouble...besides I have my fair share of 1 sided female friendships." (this was supposed to be my way of telling her in a C & F way that I wanted more)

So, that's the update. I'm not sure what to make of it as she didn't respond and also the last things she said when I attempted to convey sexual interest. I've made similar remarks in past exchanges and she'd just ignore and not respond to them. So, it kind of makes me think she's not interested in anything more. Well, you guys be the judge compare this update to the rest of the story. Oh by the way someone here had asked if I was a newbie. I'm not sure how to answer that. I've been on sosuave for some years now but just joined this forum this year. I've been with 13 women (2 were gfs and the longest relationship which ended this June was about 8 months long) So, what does that make me. Hoping to get some good feed back. I do plan to go to the soccer game on friday. Depending on how you guys interprete the above interaction it could be my last attempt at this lady or the beginning or something more. In some way I don't care in another I care because it seems like I'm approaching, getting contact #s and some sort of date, kiss close but not the F close. So, I just wanna take a long break. You guys say have plates but it's hard to build up a plate collection with these dead ends. I could have plates but normally the advice I get on here is when a girl is not budging to next her. Partly because I've been nexting I haven't been able to maintain a plate collection. ( "Plate collection" lol, who comes up with these terms, lol... if only women knew what they are referred as). Thanks for your insight guys. Do be gracious in your bashing if you feel the need to.

 

[daygameguy]

Dude there is no fcuking way you are going to get in her pants, unless she sees you with another hot chick.

 

[jafyk]

Geez, that whole txt exchange on your part was really weird. You had already accepted her invite, so when she sent that text, you should of simply ignored it and went to bed. It wasn't even a question; she wasn't even looking for a reply; she was just throwing out a little tease to test you. But you went into this whole weird thing where you showed her you didn't know what a common saying meant, she then called you silly; rejected your suggestion you sleep together even though you haven't even kissed; she then rejected your suggestion of a 3some even though you haven't even kissed; and finally, after she had had enough of this weird stuff, she dumped the "let's just be friends" on you, to which you reacted dramatically calling her out. This poor girl.

You should of ignored the text and met her for the date as scheduled and gave her a kiss opening like a confident, cool male who is that comfortable with all his lady friends; and then moved on to nailing her and her girlfriend to the mattress. You blew your wad way to early, man.

To begin with I didn't know what that expression meant so I had to ask. Oh, well, I guess I've oopsed. I guess it's all about experiments (perhaps this is another failed one) well, there will be other chicks. Maybe one of the first questions I should ask when I meet a new girl is are you straight? and save myself the trouble. Thanks for your input. I will go to the soccer game or should I skip it altogether?

 

[jafyk]

Geez, that whole txt exchange on your part was really weird. You had already accepted her invite, so when she sent that text, you should of simply ignored it and went to bed. It wasn't even a question; she wasn't even looking for a reply; she was just throwing out a little tease to test you. But you went into this whole weird thing where you showed her you didn't know what a common saying meant, she then called you silly; rejected your suggestion you sleep together even though you haven't even kissed; she then rejected your suggestion of a 3some even though you haven't even kissed; and finally, after she had had enough of this weird stuff, she dumped the "let's just be friends" on you, to which you reacted dramatically calling her out. This poor girl.

You should of ignored the text and met her for the date as scheduled and gave her a kiss opening like a confident, cool male who is that comfortable with all his lady friends; and then moved on to nailing her and her girlfriend to the mattress. You blew your wad way to early, man.

Oh and Dons one more thing. I wasn't seriously expecting her to invite me for a sleep over. I was merely attempting to flirt. I felt if she had a god sense of humor she would have said something like " It's ok I'm there with you in spirit..." Which would show (1) she has a sense of humor (2) She might be open to the idea in the future. Since she responded the way she did I get the feeling she doesn't want anything deep with us. The only reason I'd go to the game is cos I said I'd be there cos I don't care for appeasing her in hopes that she will come around. Although this what one friend had suggested.

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

I am a novice so take this with a grain of a salt but . . you seemed to be REALLY pushing for some attention there. You came off as really needy/clingy. And you were trying to feed your oneitus. I make the same mistakes . . it feels like "F*ck it I'm finding out right now" and you say dumb sh*t, pull too hard and <poof>