http://therationalmale.com/2012/03/09/relationship-game-a-primer/
Before I start my situation..
By Rollo:
"Before I dig in here I think it’s important to bear in mind that the principles of Game do not change in an LTR, only the context does. Every behavior set, every frame control tenet, every aspect of amused mastery and even PUAs skills like ****y & Funny are all vitally necessary, if not more necessary in an LTR. One of the greatest failings married men begin their nuptials with is starting from a position of Betaness. I’ve encountered, and counseled, far too many men with the same story; they entered into their LTR or marriage from a default position of being the “supportive” submissive partner only to discover Game later in their relationship and then fight the very uphill battle of convincing their spouse that they’ve ‘genuinely’ experienced a radical shift in their outlook and personalities.
If all she’s ever known is the Beta you, convincing her you’ve gone Alpha is a tough road to hoe. An Alpha shift in an LTR is threatening to a woman who’s built a lifestyle around the predictability of the Beta guy she committed to. It stirs up the competition anxiety she’s been numbed to for a long time, and while that’s beneficial in prompting her genuine desire for you, it also upsets her sense of security. It’s for this reason that Beta men are reluctant to experiment with being more dominant; they carry over from their singlehood the same mistaken belief that women require comfort, familiarity and security in order to become intimate or “feel sexy”. They still fail to grasp, even in marriage, that sex by definition requires anxiety to be grounded in genuine desire. Sexual tension requires urgency."
My situation, I started my LTR of 2years as a Beta.. I know I made many beta mistakes and I let her get away with disrespect and failed many sh!t tests. Thus her interest took a hit and she is hot/cold and she has been trained by me that she can get away with many things.
Hey it's not her fault, I cannot call her a b!tch. After all, I am the one that let her get away with it!!
Thus one month ago, I vow to change my attitude towards her and my life. I started socializing and get to know new people and concentrate on my career. She had been distant and lethargic in calling and texting, thus I became aloof and indifferent. May be acting at first.. Faking till I make it..
It is tough in this one month of transition of changing beta to alpha, maybe "faking alpha"... I was aloof and positive this one month, she change on it. She kept asking what happened to me. It got into her mind and she starts behaving better and seems higher interest now (more I love you, etc etc).. However, more **** tests are coming.. I have an natural alpha uncle monitoring me, keeping me focused.
However, last night, in a moment of weakness, I failed a **** test in which she quarreled with me (her fault and b!tchiness) and I let her get away with it.. Now she's back to power and becoming aloof instead.. A tough battle.
My question is
- have any brothers here started off the LTR as a beta for half a year to a year and successfully transit to alpha and convincing your gf for a long period of time? Or even better, long period of "higher position" of her.
- rollo mentioned in his blog that transition of from beta to alpha in a ltr is going to threaten the security she has of a beta., will this change cause the gf to snap off and break up due to the change? (My gf seems to have the signs of that)
- Rollo also mentioned it is an uphill battle during this transition.
I hope to hear success stories.
English is not my native language. Sorry if I don't phrase it well
Before I start my situation..
By Rollo:
"Before I dig in here I think it’s important to bear in mind that the principles of Game do not change in an LTR, only the context does. Every behavior set, every frame control tenet, every aspect of amused mastery and even PUAs skills like ****y & Funny are all vitally necessary, if not more necessary in an LTR. One of the greatest failings married men begin their nuptials with is starting from a position of Betaness. I’ve encountered, and counseled, far too many men with the same story; they entered into their LTR or marriage from a default position of being the “supportive” submissive partner only to discover Game later in their relationship and then fight the very uphill battle of convincing their spouse that they’ve ‘genuinely’ experienced a radical shift in their outlook and personalities.
If all she’s ever known is the Beta you, convincing her you’ve gone Alpha is a tough road to hoe. An Alpha shift in an LTR is threatening to a woman who’s built a lifestyle around the predictability of the Beta guy she committed to. It stirs up the competition anxiety she’s been numbed to for a long time, and while that’s beneficial in prompting her genuine desire for you, it also upsets her sense of security. It’s for this reason that Beta men are reluctant to experiment with being more dominant; they carry over from their singlehood the same mistaken belief that women require comfort, familiarity and security in order to become intimate or “feel sexy”. They still fail to grasp, even in marriage, that sex by definition requires anxiety to be grounded in genuine desire. Sexual tension requires urgency."
My situation, I started my LTR of 2years as a Beta.. I know I made many beta mistakes and I let her get away with disrespect and failed many sh!t tests. Thus her interest took a hit and she is hot/cold and she has been trained by me that she can get away with many things.
Hey it's not her fault, I cannot call her a b!tch. After all, I am the one that let her get away with it!!
Thus one month ago, I vow to change my attitude towards her and my life. I started socializing and get to know new people and concentrate on my career. She had been distant and lethargic in calling and texting, thus I became aloof and indifferent. May be acting at first.. Faking till I make it..
It is tough in this one month of transition of changing beta to alpha, maybe "faking alpha"... I was aloof and positive this one month, she change on it. She kept asking what happened to me. It got into her mind and she starts behaving better and seems higher interest now (more I love you, etc etc).. However, more **** tests are coming.. I have an natural alpha uncle monitoring me, keeping me focused.
However, last night, in a moment of weakness, I failed a **** test in which she quarreled with me (her fault and b!tchiness) and I let her get away with it.. Now she's back to power and becoming aloof instead.. A tough battle.
My question is
- have any brothers here started off the LTR as a beta for half a year to a year and successfully transit to alpha and convincing your gf for a long period of time? Or even better, long period of "higher position" of her.
- rollo mentioned in his blog that transition of from beta to alpha in a ltr is going to threaten the security she has of a beta., will this change cause the gf to snap off and break up due to the change? (My gf seems to have the signs of that)
- Rollo also mentioned it is an uphill battle during this transition.
I hope to hear success stories.
English is not my native language. Sorry if I don't phrase it well
