An unusual situation with a girl I'm seeing and other recent happenings

[jafyk]

I've been seeing this girl since about August last year.
(some background info; she's 23, white American who converted to Islam, likes to travel, generally quiet, works, has her own place and doesn't drink)

We've gone out 2 times (a bar, to shoot pool and play air hockey and a halloween party) besides that we've mostly hung out (even slept over at each other's),sex, watched movies and exchanged music. In October I had taken her to a Halloween party and afterwards I wanted to go to the club, I invited her to join me and she declined so I asked her to drop me off at home and give me a call when she gets back so I know she made it ok. Well, she never called and she didn't return my calls afterwards. I basically told her last month that if she didn't want us to see each other anymore she should let me know because if I ran into her things would be weird and didn't have to be that way. Anyway she sends me a message on facebook, telling me that she was mad at me for ditching her to go to the club and that she felt I wanted her for only one thing and that the other events I had invited her too she didn't find them interesting. She also said she was in love with some guy who just disappeared and she wasn't ready for a relationship. Anyway, I wrote her back telling her that I can't be aware of these things if she doesn't even talk about it. She wrote back accepted her fault and apologized and said we could see each other still.
Anyway, the things that are puzzling to me is that she hardly initiate contact unless I do and when I do she's available and we basically F***. When we hang out she seems to enjoy my company, and doesn't get all mushy and laughs at my jokes. Still when she comes over and I offer drinks (non-alcoholic) she refuses and doesn't even ask me for anything. 2 nites ago she slept over and in the morning she had to be at work. I offered her towel, tooth brush, food and she didn't want any of it (she didn't seem upset) and she went to work right from my place. Most times when I'm intimate with girls they normally call the day later with some form of flattery message or one of gratitude but not her. The night before she had asked me about going on to another state on a skiing trip with her and I told her I'd get back to her. I'm not used to this type of behavior in any girl I've dated so it's confusing and makes me feel like all I'm good for is a F***. I know some of you guys here could care less. Normally, when I deal with girls I like it to be more than just about sex even if we are not in a relationship. Does anyone know what's going on in this scenario?

 

[jafyk]

Guys, I'd like some opinions on this.Thanks.

 

[STR8UP]

Does anyone know what's going on in this scenario?

You're the "B" guy. Second string. A d!ck in a glass jar.

Enjoy it for what it is.

 

[Wiesman44]

You're the "B" guy. Second string. A d!ck in a glass jar.

Enjoy it for what it is.

I'm gonna have to agree. In the situation that the OP described, your asking us to overanalyze an obvious situation. her lack of emotional attachment most likely means she just wants sex.

IF it means something else, all I would be doing is guessing, which doesn't help you in the least.


and FYI, a white American converting to Islam is somewhat odd. You have to be careful with the very religoius women, as they don't hold the same values as most american women.

 

[jafyk]

Ok, I appreciate your 2 cents. I never thought I'd date a Muslim and she turned out to be white, lol. I'd rather date and Arab muslim if I had to dabble. She never brings up her faith anyway. So, I'm in just a **** in a jar why would she invite me to go on a skiing trip with her?

 

[horaholic]

Go skiing with her. Maybe it will help you bond. If she still fvcked off over her last relationship, she may be putting up emotional walls, and trying her hardest not to fall for you. It may get better, it may not, but at least your getting sex. Look at the bright side. Shes not causing any drama, right? Count your blessings.

BTW, how you holding up with everything else?

 

[jafyk]

Go skiing with her. Maybe it will help you bond. If she still fvcked off over her last relationship, she may be putting up emotional walls, and trying her hardest not to fall for you. It may get better, it may not, but at least your getting sex. Look at the bright side. Shes not causing any drama, right? Count your blessings.

BTW, how you holding up with everything else?

By everything else. Do you mean with this girl or with my life in general? I'd assume you mean the latter. Well, my who was like my dad growing up just died in my country yesterday. I just think life is ironic and doesn't make much sense. Otherwise I'm pretty busy with a school, work, making time for friends. Well, yesternight I had gone to the club with my friends and I ran into this lady who had flaked on me in the past (she claimed she was busy) anyway, I talked to her and she agreed to come home with me. We cuddled, kinoed, saw a movie and she asked me if I was surprised she came over; I said not really. I while studying her geography with my fingers she said she said I was moving too fast and we should take it easy. So, I said ok. Then I tried again and got further but no kiss or F close. I saw her off to her car and we talked and when there was nothing left to say I said to myself F it and went for the kiss and she responded in kind and said I was a good kisser she said she had a good time and would call me when she got home and she did. I guess I may be seeing her again.

 

[horaholic]

By everything else. Do you mean with this girl or with my life in general? I'd assume you mean the latter. Well, my who was like my dad growing up just died in my country yesterday.

If you're making me bring it up, I was referring to your late mother, but it sounds like you just lost another! Im sorry, wow! I'm curious, how supportive was your Islam girl to that whole situation?

 

[jafyk]

If you're making me bring it up, I was referring to your late mother, but it sounds like you just lost another! Im sorry, wow! I'm curious, how supportive was your Islam girl to that whole situation?

Oh boy, lol. Did you have to call me out with that question.I'ill tell you anyway, the first time she heard about it she said she was sorry about what happened and she's never said a word about it again. Well, thanks for your condolence. It seems like my mom's death is helping me deal with this one or maybe it's the distance and keeping busy. I don't consider her my girl, she'd fall into the plate category but you'd think that if you've known someone for about 4 months they'd check in on you to see how you're doing during such times. I really don't have any expectations because I generally know how girls can be. So, it's best not to expect anything from them.