An Unexpected Approach

[Sophomakhos]

As you'll have noticed, I'm new to these forums. So first a little about myself - I'm 18 and in my first term at university in Oxford in the UK studying Classics (for those who aren't aware, that's Latin and Greek language, history etc). My history with girlfriends so far has been sparse - throughout secondary school I was basically too lazy (wait, there's probably a better explanation, but that's not the point of this) to be bothered with girlfriends in a big way. Having arrived at university though, I decided to get in on the act. I've read a number of the posts, the tips etc, and so far they've been pretty useful. I really did notice that when you smile at a girl and look into her eyes for a moment she almost certainly WILL react very well to this (and that was in an Orthodox Church! But that's a different matter). So a lot of my old naivety has been banished, and I've got a better idea of how it works now. That said, I'm not hugely experienced - hence this post.

Now down to business. Last Saturday night the Oxford Union (a high class debating society) held a big party on its premises for first years, and I decided to pop along and see what might happen. Throughout most of the evening the resevoir was pretty dry, if you get my drift, though I did have some nice encounters on the dance floor. It became rapidly clear that the room was extremely hot and I (and a number of others found this too) had to go outside periodically to cool off.

So it had got to midnight, and I was rather tired (I'm sure that the night was young, but I really did have to get up early the next day). I'd just popped outside to sit on a bench (rest the old legs) for a little while when a girl came over (I think that she'd also just been dancing, though I'm not sure). I caught her eye, and she rather unexpectedly came over to chat with me (no doubt in surprise at seeing me seated in the cold, chill night air). We had the standard conversation for a short while ('ie. My name's x, I'm studying x... etc). Then it took a more interesting turn. When I revealed that I was studying classics, she asked me if I could translate what she had written on her necklace (obliging me to stare into her cleavage briefly). In case you're interested, it was a Greek word, 'Charis', meaning 'joy'. Turns out that she's a Greek Cypriot and that was her name. What is the significance of that invitation? I could speculate, though it probably wouldn't do any good. Anyhow, I was intrigued, and tried to remember the various conversation tips etc. I held her gaze steadily but not creepily, let her do most of the talking etc. Eventually (after about 5 or 10 mins) she said that she had to go and find her friends so that she could go back to her college (the university is divided into various autonomous colleges). I told her that it had been nice to meet her, and she then suggested that if I was 'ever in the neighbourhood' of her college that I should ask for her at the porters' lodge (difficult, as I still don't know her surname). I had a better idea. "Tell you what, why don't you give me your number and I'll call you?" So she did, and I wrote it down. I was just about to employ the number test when she said, "I think that's right, but I might have got those two digits mixed up. If you don't get me, don't think that I'm avoiding you." So off she went.

Now I'm looking at the prospect of ringing her up to tell her to come with me for coffee (either tomorrow [Tuesday] or the day after [Wednesday]). Firstly, how should I handle this phone call? I still haven't really found any particularly specific advice on this. Secondly, how sincere do you think that she was being? I didn't notice any negative 'vibes' coming off her, but I could hardly say that I noticed anything openly flirtatious. And thirdly, assuming that all goes well, should I lay on the techniques (ie. kino, playfulness etc) thick and fast, right from the start, or should there be a gradual build up?

 

[Badmannaz]

this is what i would do.....



1st: phone call
keep it nice and short so there is little or no dead air time in the phone and act like your busy...(makes you look interesting in her eyes) but if you want to meet her this is exactly why you want to keep it short find out a time to ring her up.

2nd don't b scared
she's just as nervous as you....let that settle in when your talking to her...all the moves are really up to you

 

[wowiehowie]

Hey, if nothing else, maybe you can teach many here how to spell and use proper english?

Welcome aboard!

 

[Sophomakhos]

Well, a little update for those who have cared to read my opening post. I decided to try some warm up techniques before calling (to make the voice sound deeper and more attractive), and then took the plunge. The call can only have lasted say five minutes. Firstly she did remember me, which is a positive sign, and I got the small talk out the way as quickly as was politely possible. Then I went on to say that we should get coffee and asked if tomorrow was ok or would she prefer later. She told me how busy she was (with two essays to write) and how on Thursday she would be far too busy and on Friday she was going away for the weekend to Bristol (quite a distance away). However, she said that she'd give me a call tomorrow after her last lecture if it didn't run over too late. Now, all this business certainly gives a negative impression, but then again it is understandable - the workload at Oxford is very heavy indeed. I know that agreeing to the above is giving up some of my power, but I was in rather a bind. I shall provide another update if I get lucky!