backbreaker
Master Don Juan
okay it makes sense now.. how can you attract women if you have never attracted one?
How old are you?
How old are you?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
An Old Story with NO Ending...
- Thread starter Bobman
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
ethnomethodologist
Master Don Juan
Bobman, I've never had a girlfriend either.
Your problem is you are afraid, backbreaker said it.
If you want to get ANYTHING out of this thread, you have to admit this fact. I KNOW you are scared, you are so scared that you begin to rationalize your fear. That is another of the AFC's greatest problems, one of the biggest seduction problems in fact.
So your a little chicken sh!t and you expect girls to love you for who you are. That is correct right?
Your problem is you are afraid, backbreaker said it.
If you want to get ANYTHING out of this thread, you have to admit this fact. I KNOW you are scared, you are so scared that you begin to rationalize your fear. That is another of the AFC's greatest problems, one of the biggest seduction problems in fact.
So your a little chicken sh!t and you expect girls to love you for who you are. That is correct right?
I expect girls to love me for who I am (and why shouldn't I?), but I am NOT a little chicken ****.
There have been many occassions when I'm hanging out with friends and they tell me to just go and talk to that girl over there because they think I have some great fear to conquer. I go talk to her, and come back with another "sorry, I have a bf". Fear is NOT the issue here, at least the way you're putting it."She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
MetalFortress
Master Don Juan
"Aside from the thumb wrestling and high fiving, tht sounds REEEEALLY creepy coming from a guy that isn't the boyfriend. Or am I wrong about THAT too?"
Uh yeah, you are. Stop arguing with everyone. I can see why women don't want to be around you.
You sound like the kind of guy who will just go up and ask a woman a million boring questions. You need to talk to women, not interview them. Be a fun guy.
Uh yeah, you are. Stop arguing with everyone. I can see why women don't want to be around you.
You sound like the kind of guy who will just go up and ask a woman a million boring questions. You need to talk to women, not interview them. Be a fun guy.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
exactly.. dude, we are just trying to help, but you **** flame anyone...
You have to one to help yourself, and saying that you have "nothing else to learn" is stupid.. I am very successful with women and I learn new **** every other day
Before you make another post.. read, reread the DJ Bible.. then read it again. I can't stress this enough.
Go though the archive and the tips section of this site and soak in the information that is here.
The Juan and only
Master Don Juan
One of your main problems seems to be that you expect failure. Just because things haven't gone well in the past, don't assume that they will in the future; you're putting yourself on a slippery slope and it can't end well.Originally posted by Bobman
Oh boy, here we go... Do I dare ask what it takes to attract women, or am I only going to get the same advice that I've been getting for the last few years that has been completely ineffective?
Again, pardon my negativity, but I really have a difficult time being positive after all the rejection I've been through. I don't have problems with women saying no to me, I just have a problem with EVERY woman saying no to me
And what is bootcamp exactly?
If you go out with the attitude that "I probably dont have a chance but i'll try some new techniques i found on the net", then you WILL fail. I don't think you've taken the advice you've been given to heart or really placed any faith in it -- what I'm saying is this, you have to be willing to accept that you're wrong and to
take on a new set of beliefs.
"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten"......you want women to love you for who you are? yeah, well so do I but its not that easy. You can't change women so you'll have to change some of your beliefs.
...yes you are. Women and people in general love to be touched, now I'm not suggesting you do anything sexual (and you should always try to be as non-threatening as possible)..but you do need to touch her. Well executed kino is probably the single most effective technique for seducing a woman. I say "well executed" because doing it wrong (i.e being nervous about it) will not only make her nervous too, but also kill your chances.
You don't wait for her to make you her boyfriend THEN you can touch her/tease her/whatever (because that'll never happen). It gives her all the control and makes you seem like a wet blanket (i.e not exciting or spontaneous, not comfortable in your own skin, not at all sexual and ultimately not a fun person).
You're entire attitude/paradigm/whatever u wanna call it concerning women is way off. I suggest you read the DJ Bible and give it some serious consideration, rather than brushing it off as a load of drivel written by lower forms of life.
p.s One more thing, the whole "not having sex before marriage" idea, though a reasonable belief, is probably not helping you. It's generally the sexual ones who get most of the girls, especially during the "teenage period".
The way I see it, marriage in the sense you describe is merely a legal contract -- if having sex "ruins your relationship" before marriage then why won't it do the same afterwards?? surely its best to find out that you aren't compatible before you enter into a legal contract; Ultimately, neither the church nor the state can truly marry two people, not in the original sense of the word.
Perhaps you think you're less likely to bail from a "ruined relationship" once commited through marriage...maybe, but who wants to live with someone who they're not compatible with just because of a legal/traditional obligation. In my opinion sex doesn't ruin a relationship, it is in a fact a natural part of life and, a physical expression/extension of the emotional connection between two people.
..but that's enough about my views on the issue. Read the DJ Bible and good luck my man. Things will improve, trust me.
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"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
TheDarkSaint
Don Juan
Bobman, think about something.
Sex is the most intimate form of communication you'll ever have with a woman. You instictivly know this, even if you've never had it.
You've been told that having sex will ruin a relationship (forget about before or after marriage crap, you're brain really hears "having sex will ruin a relationship"
Thus, you've attempted to eliminate any form of sexual desire that you have but not been terribly sucessful (no one can do that). Instead, it gets shunted into intellect and rationalization.
By doing so, you've reduced the amount of intimate connection you can build with a women in a few moments in talking with her. If you're brain has the message that sex/intimacy is bad and it will ruin the relationship, you've already lost.
I want you to think about something. Back in the days before writting, marriage didn't exist (no contracts, no marriage). If sex before marriage (an impossiblity back then) ruined a relationship, the human race would be dead.
You don't have to go out and have sex. You do need to work on the concept that something is wrong with you instead of somthing is wrong with the girls. It's time to start working on intimacy issues.
Sex is the most intimate form of communication you'll ever have with a woman. You instictivly know this, even if you've never had it.
You've been told that having sex will ruin a relationship (forget about before or after marriage crap, you're brain really hears "having sex will ruin a relationship"
Thus, you've attempted to eliminate any form of sexual desire that you have but not been terribly sucessful (no one can do that). Instead, it gets shunted into intellect and rationalization.
By doing so, you've reduced the amount of intimate connection you can build with a women in a few moments in talking with her. If you're brain has the message that sex/intimacy is bad and it will ruin the relationship, you've already lost.
I want you to think about something. Back in the days before writting, marriage didn't exist (no contracts, no marriage). If sex before marriage (an impossiblity back then) ruined a relationship, the human race would be dead.
You don't have to go out and have sex. You do need to work on the concept that something is wrong with you instead of somthing is wrong with the girls. It's time to start working on intimacy issues.
The Juan and only
Master Don Juan
I agree
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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Lots of good advice in this thread, but I'm gonna throw my two cents in anyway.
Bobman, I'm sure you've heard a million times that you should "just be yourself". Now, is just being yourself working? HELL NO!
What you need to do is be your BEST SELF. Don't tell her jokes to be funny, pull out your natural sense of humor and put it to work! Don't refrain from touching her because it's socially unacceptable, touch her because you're attracted to her! Women read body language much better than they read words. You need to communicate to her through your body language that you're attracted to her by touching her (kino). This is much, much more effective than saying "You know, I have feelings for you". That will scare her off right away.
Women are naturally not comfortable with men they don't know. By using non-sexual touch, you break down those barriers and help her become comfortable around you.
Next, you need to learn how to flirt. Complimenting is not the same as flirting. To flirt, you don't compliment. To flirt, you bring out your fun side. Make fun of her little habits or any little imperfections in her appearance or actions. Now, throw some kino in there. Tickle her. Poke her for no reason. Throw a ball of paper at her. Embrace your inner child when you flirt. Focus on having fun!
To ask for a date, don't say "Would it be allright to take you out sometime?" No! You tell her to write her number down and you'll give her a call. When you phone her up, talk for 5 minutes. Make small chitchat, then toss out your idea for a date. Have a time, date, and location already picked out. If you go out on the date, do the SAME THINGS that you did when you met her. Flirting, having fun, and kino.
Now, you'll have to do the work if you want results. If you don't do the work, you're not going to get anywhere. Don't expect this to be easy either. When your training wheels came off and you fell on your face, did you give up? Hell no! You kept working at it until you could ride a two wheeled bike! Getting your dating "game" down is the same way. If at first you don't succeed, try again. It also gets easier the more you do it.
Now get your ass out there!
Bobman, I'm sure you've heard a million times that you should "just be yourself". Now, is just being yourself working? HELL NO!
What you need to do is be your BEST SELF. Don't tell her jokes to be funny, pull out your natural sense of humor and put it to work! Don't refrain from touching her because it's socially unacceptable, touch her because you're attracted to her! Women read body language much better than they read words. You need to communicate to her through your body language that you're attracted to her by touching her (kino). This is much, much more effective than saying "You know, I have feelings for you". That will scare her off right away.
Women are naturally not comfortable with men they don't know. By using non-sexual touch, you break down those barriers and help her become comfortable around you.
Next, you need to learn how to flirt. Complimenting is not the same as flirting. To flirt, you don't compliment. To flirt, you bring out your fun side. Make fun of her little habits or any little imperfections in her appearance or actions. Now, throw some kino in there. Tickle her. Poke her for no reason. Throw a ball of paper at her. Embrace your inner child when you flirt. Focus on having fun!
To ask for a date, don't say "Would it be allright to take you out sometime?" No! You tell her to write her number down and you'll give her a call. When you phone her up, talk for 5 minutes. Make small chitchat, then toss out your idea for a date. Have a time, date, and location already picked out. If you go out on the date, do the SAME THINGS that you did when you met her. Flirting, having fun, and kino.
Now, you'll have to do the work if you want results. If you don't do the work, you're not going to get anywhere. Don't expect this to be easy either. When your training wheels came off and you fell on your face, did you give up? Hell no! You kept working at it until you could ride a two wheeled bike! Getting your dating "game" down is the same way. If at first you don't succeed, try again. It also gets easier the more you do it.
Now get your ass out there!