an old LJBF contacting me out of nowhere

[TheFlyingMan]

Before I discovered this community, I wasn't that bad. I made a few moves on this chick, and even now with my knowledge I think i did pretty well with her.

But she still LJBFed me. When she did that, I nexted her and moved on. It's been like 3 months now, I haven't contacted her. If she does email or call, I just play it cool. But recently she's been coming on to me a lot. She's been hinting that she pushed me away because she's scared of getting hurt, etc, and wants to see me again.

I've set up a casual get-together for next week. Told her I needed some new shoes, and was going to get some new ones, and needed a woman's opinion. SHe was very very happy about it. I told her not to flake on me, and made up some BS about me kicking away some hot chick just because she flaked. She got mock-upset, and said "hey, i'm not just some random chick you met, don't treat me that way".

What should I do? Is she trying to go back to where we left off? Or just being friendly?

 

[brucevangeorge]

Who cares what the hell she is trying to do? Just do your thing.

And she LJBF you? In my books that is an insult and disrespect. Not only that, but it shows that she doesn't think of you as a man in any way. You are just her little tampon to absorb all the **** that comes pouring out of her when she has nothing to do but complain.

Just treat her like any other random chick. Because in reality, she is.

As for her trying to get back where you left off.... was that the part where you nexted her or when she basically castrated you?

Don't pay any attention to this. She may just be pulling the same crap as before. Unless you bang her soon, get rid of her. She is a waste of time and resources and you could be spending this with someone who is actually interested in you.

 

[Macgyver]

She could be trying to get back where she left off or... most likely , got recently broken up with another guy. If she wasn't single when you met her or you didn't know then this may be the case.

Just so you know when a girl LJBF you, it isn't the end of the world, but the biggest mistake a guy can make is "keep being her friend" , you did the right thing back then by moving on. When a girl LJBF you, it means she already knew you were into her. But, because she was the one who let *YOU* down from the beginning, you should be neutral around her. Treat her like a friend, if she wants more obviously she will let you know.

I disagree with the notion above from brucevangeorge that the girl will make you into an "emotional tampon" - if you present yourself to be available 24/7 to her even if you're not in a relationship and allowing yourself to listen to her one hour phone whine, then she sees you as some therapuetical teddy bear of a sort. Casually ask her to hang out (go hiking, shoot some pool, whatever something neutral and cheap) and see where it goes. But do not flirt, think neutral.

 

[TheFlyingMan]

Hmm thanks guys...
brucevangeorge, it wasn't as bad as you think it is...pretty much we were dating a little bit, then she went overseas for a holiday and things went a bit colder from there...still friendly, but we stopped dating and she stopped responding as warm as she did before..so after a couple more flirtatious attempts I pretty much took that as an LJBF and then stopped calling her. She did call a few times after that, for example when she heard I was in a car accident, she called to see if I was OK, and stuff like that, but we never mentioned our dating days again.

Even back as an AFC, I never supplicated, I never let her use me as a tampon, I never paid for any thing (always 50/50), so she never really castrated me or anything. I only did that to my oneitis, and she wasn't it.

So we just be neutral? I'm thinking that I should treat her as a new chick I met, and put the DJ game on her...but you guys have way more experience then I do. Don't flirt does sound like a good idea, but I think only for the first few times? Maybe hang out maybe 1 or 2 times to get a feel first. If I get some IOI, then I'll game her. Is that a sound game plan?

 

[brucevangeorge]

I was exaggerating slightly to get the point across. I always speak in worst and best case scenario to get the point across. In real life thing are alot more gray.

AS for advice? Listen to your gut feeling. Grab your manhood (yes I know it's from the 40 year old virging, BUT IT'S RIGHT!). Just grab your balls. Do what you think is right. And if what you think is right turns out to be wrong you need some more experience. Read the Bible, go sarging, meet more girls.

That is all. No one will gove you the magical advice. And if they do you will probably forget it when it comes down to it. You need to make decisions and act properly on the fly and not think of scenarios and situations in advance.

 

[TheFlyingMan]

thats awesome, thanks mate

 

[TheFlyingMan]

here's a quick update on what happened...
when she saw me, she was real happy, big hug, excited chit chat throughout dinner, etc, etc...I kept cool and relaxed, and a bit mysterious...
dropped a few stories about some crazy chick who liked me so much that they did so-and so...

busted on her nonstop, I went shopping for shoes and asked her to come along for her opinion, and she also wanted a dress for her upcoming prom, so she would stop at some shops and say "hey - what do you think of that dress?" and I would reply "you need tits to wear that low cut thing", etc.

I thought it was freaking hilarious. She remained super nice to me despite all this stuff I was saying. Some of the chicks shopping next to us looked at me in shock when i said lines like that though.

That was about it. I gave her a call a day later to say hi, and that was it.

Any thoughts?