An observation I made

[Konada]

Okay I had this encounter that really got me thinking what some guys are doing wrong, we usually don't realise how strong we come off sometimes until we experience it.

I was sitting on a bench waiting for the train to arrive. Then this random dude comes up to me and asks for directions, he looks local but i entertain him anyway. Get this, he asks for directions WHILE coming to sit next to me though there were many empty seats. Then he starts asking me about school and all the generic crap most people talk about, all the while still sitting next to me. Normally I would enjoy a convo with a random guy but somehow I felt uncomfortable with his way of approach.

Now, I live in an asian country and generally we are very protective of our personal space so for any stranger to just waltz in like that would creep anyone out. Though he might be trying to be friendly (or he was just homo), I felt he came off too strong and hence made me feel uncomfortable.

So here's the topic for dicussion, how do you guys approach people in general but don't come off too strong whilst at the same time slip into their personal space? Would be interesting to see the replies to this

 

[LiveFreeX]

lol, this was probably me. Are you in Shanghai?

I'll talk to anyone, anywhere whether they want to hear me or not. Was this guy white with a short bubbly Chinese girl?

I'm the first to invade private space, face doesn't exist in my world. One thing you CAN say about this guy is he stuck out over the 100's of other people you crossed that day.

 

[Konada]

Nah I don't live in China. Funny coincidence though

 

[Konada]

Bunp

 

[ZenoB]

This reminds me of a crash & burn I witnessed a few days ago. I was sitting in a sqaure with a co-worker friend of mine, taking a break to get some sun and check out the chicks (it's a very touristy area). These two attractive girls eventually sit on a bench right in front of us. I was contemplating approaching but before I could these two douchebag-looking dudes (Jersey Shores hipster-types) come up and blatantly sit next to them and start bugging them.

It was so aggressive and unsmooth I enjoyed watching it all crumble so I could learn from it. The girls were nice for a few seconds, then he got a cold shoulder while the girls checked their cell phones, made a signal to go, and then left. The girls just wanted to sit down and relax in the square but these dudes ruined it.

It would have been smoother for them to stand in front of the girls and ask them an indirect question, try to get a feel for their interest, and go from there. Instead they started out in this really aggressive, yet supplicating position by sitting down next to them to hit on them. It was so obvious what they were trying to do, and the girls were literally scared away.

 

[mtlwlu]

I think if you take an observational approach it might be better, for instances, I was walking across the soccer pitch at my school a few days ago and noticed a girl was picking through her friends hair much like monkeys do for hygiene. Anyways I said to them "you guys look like monkeys doing that", sure it wasnt a smooth thing to say, but it was funny and they laughed, I inquired what they were doing, made small talk and asked what they were up to later that night, I went to the club they mentioned and number closed with one of them.


If you can make small talk, and do it smoothly, maintain eye contact, you should be able to come off as just a person, not some creep looking to pick up.