"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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An*l Cleavage

Trackman

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I started listening to the Duran Duran song The Chauffeur
and reminiscing while listening intently (M.A. in Music causes such actions.) There was a recent interview about the song on MSN video cause Korn is covering it.

I remembered how huge these guys were, especially with women, in the 80s. Seemed like every girl in high school had their poster. The women they got were stunning, especially the wife of Nick. I recall she was so hot, she was licensed to display an*l cleavage at a party.

There is something about the rock star effect that I can almost put my finger on. When a singer delivers the song, the singer is in character (in a sense) and can communicate things that make a women feel in an effective and efficient way, I speculate. The words paint pretty pictures for the ladies, and the rhythm/meters/time help to pace the pictures (like a movie). Are there mechanics that can be learned from this? For example, speaking poetically in a covert manner.

Perhaps the most important, when the singer comes out of character, he is “back to normal”. As if the feelings that were communicated were done by someone else, perhaps? The character is not around for very long and the song was like a treat or a little happy pill? I can’t quite put my finger on it. Obviously, a women can become very attracted (and somehow attached?) to the singer (or at least to the character that is doing the singing). What is it? Is there something useful about understanding how to pop into a character, say things that make women want to remove their clothing, then popping out of character into the real world. Do bad boy type rockers (Aerosmith comes to mind) actually do the same thing as Duran Duran? Does Aerosmith communicate feelings just the same as Duran Duran, a machismo façade instead of a metro sexual romance novel cheesiness? Is there something about the song The Chauffeur that would drive a women crazy?

I can imagine some NLP diatribe about the rockstar effect.

Thoughts? Ladies are welcome to give their thoughts.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Gangster Of Love

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Rockstar effect is all about social proof, and status, and very little about NLP diatribe. In any given environment, the male(s) with the greatest status will get first crack at the hotties. Rockstars are the highest status, so they pick first. All there is to it. Aerosmith, Duran Duran, and even Michael Bolton, all have that rockstar status, so at their show, at least, they get first pick from their adoring fans, who put 'em on a pedestal.
 

Johnty

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I think you may be on to something here. If NLP is dialogue to draw positive associations towards certain circumstances, people etc, then so would positive associations within music do the same.

"In any given environment, the male(s) with the greatest status will get first crack at the hotties. Rockstars are the highest status, so they pick first."

Too true, but how do they gain this social proof?

To gain a woman's interest, you might chat her up and display mannerisms that develop positive feelings from her, towards you.

The difference with a Rockstar or someone famous is that they have already developed this social proof en masse, while us mere mortals must prove this to one woman or a small group of women at a time.
 

Trackman

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Gangster Of Love said:
Rockstar effect is all about social proof, and status, and very little about NLP diatribe. In any given environment, the male(s) with the greatest status will get first crack at the hotties. Rockstars are the highest status, so they pick first. All there is to it. Aerosmith, Duran Duran, and even Michael Bolton, all have that rockstar status, so at their show, at least, they get first pick from their adoring fans, who put 'em on a pedestal.
Music is a powerful anchor for invoking an internal image and/or feeling. That alone may be the only NLP related thing, but that alone may be something. I also believe that women tend to actually listen to the lyrics much more than men.

I am also not buying the proof and status. What was proved. Having seen how women flock to musicians of all caliber and level after a performance, there must be something else to it.
 

GuanYu

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I think there's more to it then this. All women are attracted to men that can sing, but not all women are attracted to the same musicians. For example, a woman that listens strictly to R&B will not be turned on by rockstars.

Rockstars get women due to status and money. They display the typical bad boy persona while having a lot of fans and money at their disposal.

R&B Musicians, country, soft rock, etc singers get women because of their money and emotion behind music. Women get turned on because of their voices and envisioning them in that tropical paradise with XY singer cos they have the money to do so.

That's my take on it.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Desdinova

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I experience the rock star phenomena whenever I go out and perform at bars. It's absolutely amazing not just to see it happen, but have it happen to me. Throw some good game in there and I've got the choice of any woman in the bar.

Over time, I've become more confident when I'm doing my 5hit up on stage. The confidence alone to get up on stage and have an audience is incredible and women know that. But when I became more confident in performing, the women in the audience seemed to respond even better.

So IMO, that's the first part of it: Confidence.

Second, I would have to say Social Proof, but with a slightly different twist. When one woman takes notice of the performer on stage and talks how good he is, other women will follow. When one woman gets up to dance, others follow.

Third *may* be the context and content of the performance. A dude singing Bon Jovi's "Bed of Roses" will likely get a better response from women than Iron Maiden's Run To The Hills.
 

Gangster Of Love

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Trackman said:
Music is a powerful anchor for invoking an internal image and/or feeling. That alone may be the only NLP related thing, but that alone may be something. I also believe that women tend to actually listen to the lyrics much more than men.

I am also not buying the proof and status. What was proved. Having seen how women flock to musicians of all caliber and level after a performance, there must be something else to it.
First of all, that's the problem. You are thinking that by women "listening" better to lyrics/music, it has a stronger effect. More women than men, just like the musicians/artists/songwriters, don't just listen to the music, they "feel" the music. Big difference.

Same effect, if you try to make a woman attracted to you by what you are saying, and her ability to "listen" better, rather than by making her "feel" a connection, thus creating attraction, you will not be as effective.

SOCIAL PROOF. Not just proof by itself, as in something to prove. Go look up info on the the term "social proof", and how it relates to persuasion. The same phenomenon that happens at night clubs, with party hosts, with people on tv. etc. Has everything to do with the fact that everyone else already pre-qualified you as desireable, and since people for the most part are followers, they will also be drawn to you.

There is a reason a lot people use the term "rock star" not just with rock stars but when talking about somebody who they consider cool, happening, and attractive.
 

STR8UP

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Gangster Of Love said:
SOCIAL PROOF. Not just proof by itself, as in something to prove. Go look up info on the the term "social proof", and how it relates to persuasion. The same phenomenon that happens at night clubs, with party hosts, with people on tv. etc. Has everything to do with the fact that everyone else already pre-qualified you as desireable, and since people for the most part are followers, they will also be drawn to you.
This discussion almost goes too deep for me, but IMO it's the social proof that gets the girls in this case.
 

swifTy

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talent is impressionable. actors have it. comedians have it. dancers have it. musicians have it. rockstars have it. the social proof stems from the talent and the talent; a product of genetics. i dont really understand it myself, how or where it comes from, but creativity in any form is attractive and the key to it all. people want to get at things that are impressionable. i also see correlations between talent and intelligence and talent and good looks. somethin to do with that.
 
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