An interesting thought: how having siblings or being an OC affects you

[Hughman]

Reading through today's Sunday Times and a psychology book of mine, I had a thought.

Is there a correlation between being an only-child (OC), having only older siblings or having younger siblings affect how you relate to people?

Using anecdotal evidence, ie my personal experience and learning, I'd say yes, it does, and here are my own thoughts:

If you have younger siblings you are naturally more 'alpha'. You are used to commanding respect without having to 'try' for it, you are used to having superiority in social situations. That is to say, you are more likely to have natural game and to possess DJ qualities.

If you have only older siblings, you are at a disadvantage. You are used to being in a submissive role, and will tend to be a spiteful (ie ****blocking) and a clingy person. That is to say you are likely to be a huge AFC.

If you are an only child, you will tend to extremes, maybe fixed, maybe being able to swing between the two. You are used to doing your own thing (a 'lone wolf' alpha) or you will be highly clingy as you crave social interaction and acceptance or you will be social retarded with no self-confidence. That is to say you can have game, but in a different way to 'normal' alphas, and you need to survive your childhood/teens years, with or without prompting to avoid becoming an AFC on a greater scale of having only older siblings.

Now, I am an only-child, and I'd agree with my own theory of myself. I used to be quite content with being myself and not bowing to peer-pressure. Then I hit my teens and I had the over-whelming urge to be accepted and to 'fit in', but had no idea how to do so. Now, for the past year, and especially since I've been active in this community, I'm content with being myself again. I am my own lord, I can do what I want with the upmost confidence. Sure, I'm sociable, but on my own terms and only because it makes me happy to be in those situations.

So what do you, fellow (R)AFCs and DJs think? Am I talking utter crap, or do you think there may be something logical in my thinking? Lets see if the poll draws up any correlations, hey?

 

[Smack]

This is something I've thought about a lot, with me being an only child.

From personal experience, the guys who are best with girls all have older sisters. This probably gives them an advantage in learning about the female creature because they will have had lots of exposure to females and their dating habits (females, from what I've seen, start 'dating' earlier than males). Of course this assumes that the older sister is a socially normal person; I've no idea how it would affect it if she wasn't, or was a lesbian or something.

The people who have it worse, it seems to me, are those that have younger sisters. No idea why. Actually, the only childs have it worse of all.

And again, I'll stress that this is only my personal observations. This is not science or backed up by statistics or anything.

 

[Count Chocola]

I am the oldest of my 4 siblings, and this is true. I tend to act alpha around them, and as i grew up i was highly social and alpha with my friends, but the only disadvantage of being the older brother, is that you have to learn everything yourself firsthand, and then pass it on to your siblings. For example, when i first went to college i had no one to tell me how it was going to be like, but when my younger sister went to college this year, i showed her the ropes.

Older Child....

Positives:
More Alpha
More social
More Mature

Negatives:
More responsibilities
Have to learn things firsthand
Pressure from parents to be a role model

Being the oldest child in a family has its perks, and also its decided disadvantages. That child is the “lab rat”-of-the-pack, upon which the parents have to test all of their scientific, experimental or experiential theories. Baby will have a natural, vaginal birth! Cloth diapers! A perfect nursery! Hundreds of photos posted on the baby’s own blog! Center-of-the-Universe privileges! All is happy, that is, until the second child enters the scene. The former “only child” becomes the “oldest child.” He or she feels devastated. Who is this raucous bundle taking Mommy’s and Daddy’s love and attention? Being the oldest now means the two will be in competition. Keep reading to find out what else you can expect from an oldest child, and how you can guide them in their special position.

Common Traits of the Oldest Child

Opposite personality poles – A firstborn child can be either strong willed and independent or a compliant people-pleaser, according to psychiatrist Alfred Adler, founder of the birth-order theory, who believed that personality is affected by birth order. For example, a first child will become rebellious (strong willed) or sullen (compliant) at their “dethroning,” when the second sibling enters the scene.

Achiever/perfectionist – An oldest child will not tell you, but he or she picks up on every expectation you have. Even when you do not expect perfection, an oldest child will strive to be the best to please you. This will work to your child’s advantage in the long-run: many firstborns are successful in school, sports and careers.

Natural leader/bossy – Did you know that more than 25 U.S. presidents were firstborn children? Most of the rest were the first sons in a family. Firstborn children are thrust into a leadership role from the time they gain a younger sibling.

That spells decades of at-home leadership experience, which, at times, could be plain bossiness. They like to be in charge. A few firstborns will have trouble delegating; they will not trust others to do the job well enough.

Studious/conscientious – Oldest children are known for doing well in school. Part of this might be from their strong desire to perform, but all of those hours being read to when they were little might have something to do with it. The people-pleasers will be reliable, organized, punctual and competent.

Serious/solitary – Babies aren’t much fun for the oldest child to play with. Little brothers and sisters can be OK if they are close in age, but the oldest child will prefer his or her peers or parents until siblings are much older. Even then, oldest children can have an aloof, snobbish attitude toward siblings.

Teacher/nurturer - In a June 2007 article from The New York Times, which shows oldest children as having higher IQs, Dr. Robert Zajonc said that older children benefit from their position as tutor of younger siblings. Anyone who has taught understands that the teacher always learns more in the process of teaching than as a student. Even though the older child might be giving misguided information, it is the thinking process that is important, and the questioning also broadens his perspective of what he thought was right.

http://www.lifescript.com/Life/Fami...First_Overcome_The_Oldest-Child_Syndrome.aspx

 

[prairiedog24]

Middle of 3 boys, spread of 4 years from top to bottom.

I suspect that middle children fit into your only child theme. We tend towards extremes.

 

[Hughman]

Middle of 3 boys, spread of 4 years from top to bottom.

I suspect that middle children fit into your only child theme. We tend towards extremes.

Ah, of course, I didn't think about that, the 'middle child' syndrome. And the poll results are quite random. Still, it's good to test these things, how is the community meant to progress otherwise?

 

[intrextrovert]

Older of two, one younger sister.

 

[Silvertip]

I have one older brother and at least for me, I had a ton of confidence issues growing up. As the youngest, I was always measured against my brother.

 

[Luthor Rex]

Wikipedia thinks we rock:

A 1987 quantitative review of 141 studies on 16 different personality traits contradicted Adler's theory by finding no evidence of any maladjustment in only children. The most important finding was that only children are not very different from children with siblings. The main exception to this was the finding that only children are higher in achievement motivation.[3] A second analysis revealed that only children, first-borns, and children with only one sibling score higher on tests of verbal ability than later-borns and children with multiple siblings.[4]

The advantage of only children in test scores and achievement motivation may be due to the greater amount of parental attention they receive. According to the Resource Dilution Model, parental resources (e.g. time to read to the child) are important in development. Because these resources are finite, children with many siblings receive fewer resources.[5]

In his book, Maybe One, Bill McKibben argues in favor of a one child policy based on this research. He argues that most cultural stereotypes are false, that there are not many differences between only children and other children, and where there are differences, they are favorable to the only child. Aside from scoring significantly better in achievement motivation, only children score significantly better in personal adjustment to new situations. Only children are also more likely to make outside friends, whereas children with siblings tend to be "more parochial and limited in their understanding of a variety of social roles."[6]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Only_child

 

[S.Y.L]

I find having single parents and parents who are together have something to do with it as well.

 

[King Turi]

I'm the eldest of 6, and I've always been the leader in groups and stuff.

I'm just used to leading the way and giving orders. ._.

 

[Hughman]

I find having single parents and parents who are together have something to do with it as well.

Perhaps, I suppose it's more apparent in America, more 'broken' homes than in the UK.

But I didn't think about it - most of the (R)AFCs I know are from solid families. One of the best 'naturals' (although he used to suffer bad one-itis, but as he's my bro I told him stuff taken from here and he's been very appreciative of it) has had divorced parents since he was like 6.

Equally, not to be racially prejudice, but those of Afro-Carribean decent are more likely to come from broken homes, it's pure statistics, but most black guys I know have good game.

 

[Al Moh.]

I don't know about that, I have one older brother and this always made me the rebel, because I wanted to be allowed to do anything he did.

Oh and your poll is flawed, since it's statistically more likely to have at least one younger sibling than to have ONLY older siblings.