An interesting conversation with my sister about what makes a man of value attractive

[jhonny9546]

So I had a very long conversation with my sister, asking her to be as serious as possible and to put her feelings aside as much as possible (even though I know she speaks that language all women speak, and that we shouldn't really ask a fish how to fish).

That said, what my sister focused on most, regarding the "most attractive qualities a man can have, and that would make me feel attracted to him in a LTR," wasn't beauty or anything else, but rather two things: status and how you make her feel.

Regarding status, she talks about how some men, like managers, executives, doctors, lawyers, or those who work in a big company, or people with a higher status like soccer players or singers (unattainable for her), are actually what she describes.
She then says how a man who works as a bartender, waiter, office clerk, or in other jobs is considered low-status.
She actually says how managers, or financial advisor, or just those men who work those 9to5 for those big companies are such a "stable" investiment for her.

Regarding this, I also asked her :"So a man with high status right? What about if He doesn't care, He doesn't work at all at his job, or, How he got there, or what he actually does at his job; you're just interested in the position, right?" She replied, "Yes."
This confirms that women really don't have the intelligence to understand whether a man is trying hard but still can't achieve results, versus someone who is in a position of status but isn't actually capable of putting two and two together.
Women really don't know how to distinguish between "commitment and perseverance", versus "entitled."

As for how you make her feel... she said: protected.
She gave me examples of some relationships around us, and from there I understood that what she meant by this is precisely the beta provider, who makes her feel cared for and protected, who have economic stability, who can fix issues, or supporting her with her problems.
This whole discussion simply made me connect some dots in the relationships I see around me.


Indeed, women seem really susceptible... very susceptible to the status changes of the men they keep an eye on, and this was something I'd already talked about, about when I improved my status a bit and some women who were already in a relationship started "flirting" me.

But I also realized something else: it's ephemeral.
In fact, women get bored after the boost in status has made them feel something, then they get bored of being with you because at first they felt that "lawyer" was a great status, but then, even if you're the best man in the world, they want something else.
So, even the status doesn't hold up.

What disgusts me most is the fact that for us men, it means committing ourselves every day to competition and to doing our best out there, and actually listen to women that say that they want the result, and not the actual work, the actual commitment you put in.
Now I understand why intelligent men don't compete or play, but live their lives, and this gives them much more confidence than others who live to achieve status. These men may sacrifice their position, but they're honest about their lives, and enjoy it.

Women can't really tell if a man has earned his position and it's maintaining it with great effort, or if he's just faking it.
Women can't recognize the effort a man is putting into his life if he doesn't achieve results. Women judge men's lives by the results they achieve.
No results = He's not putting in the effort = He's a loser.
Results = He's putting in the effort (even if it might not be true) = He's a winner.
(this is the result of so many divorce when the man "lose" or "lower" the status due to a job loss, or any other bad event of his life).

I'd really like to understand how your life changed after understanding how status affected women's perceptions of you.
How did this impact your relationships?
And how did you ultimately draw conclusions and create your own morality about it, and what is that morality?
Also, let's not just talk about status; let's also discuss "how you make her feel" and what you think about that.

That said, some women here may be interested to come in to join the conversation, do a bit of self reflection before discussing this, and actually speak like we men speak to each other. We like when women could do that!
@Sega Genesis @BeExcellent

 

[Tiguere]

What they say they want .. And what they respond to... Are 2 very different things

 

[Slowhandluke]

But I also realized something else: it's ephemeral.

Looks are also ephemeral.

 

[jhonny9546]

What they say they want .. And what they respond to... Are 2 very different things

Yes, I'm on that with you!
In fact, there are women here who are actually engaged to those "stable" men, they get the "image of a happy family", they get the image of "good and nice wives", but they respond to another kind of man... and that it's not only anettodical, I'm actually the prove that works.. I was the men they responded to. So I get what you say.

 

[jhonny9546]

Looks are also ephemeral.

as tiguere pointed out, I do think there is something in a man look that will never be ephemereal.
But for sure it is..
Do you say that because you actually can say there is a "certain age number" a man look actually start to get less attention?

I always still hear women tell "oh is a veryhandsome man", even in their 70's, like they can still do the distinction

 

[Slowhandluke]

as tiguere pointed out, I do think there is something in a man look that will never be ephemereal.
But for sure it is..
Do you say that because you actually can say there is a "certain age number" a man look actually start to get less attention?

I always still hear women tell "oh is a veryhandsome man", even in their 70's, like they can still do the distinction

Eastern philosophy has the concept of "impermanence". To most young women, an average man in their 70's is not "handsome.: There maybe some gravatas, but "handsome" is not the word I would use. People who put too much emphasize on status and beauty are bound to failure since both on the surface level are temporary.

Beauty on the surface level is ephemeral. But to the older man who remembers a young woman "choosing" him among the many of her suitors, he can still remember her beautiful smile, her charm, etc... Yes, to that older man, she will beautiful to him. It is a permanence of sorts. Is it the permanence of reality? Of course not. There's the grey hairs, the wrinkles, that extra bit of fat...

In all honesty, for the most part, couples are meant to stay together. Mother nature tries to help out. However, in todays world, modern society tries to break them apart.

The whole world knows that status attracts women. The whole world knows that beauty attracts men. But yet, the simple idea that people change as the time changes is seemingly a new concept to people....

 

[Gamisch]

Imo a relative is a bad person to ask such questions, as they will always subconsciously try to protect their image.

She won't be able to say " I want a long shlong rugged looking mofo who ties me up and muurders my p00sy . " The answer will always be politically correct and vanilla.

Having said that: the most important thing we as men must understand is that ost women DON'T KNOW what they want! And even if they do , preferences can and will change overtime. And here's the kicker;

- regardless of your race, current status, location or whatever topic we discussed recently that seemingly should SCARE a man instead of encouraging him, IMO the "key" to succes is to ( are you ready?)

To present a woman with something she might want even if she never really considered something od someone like "you"!!


Yes. You can be an Indian dude and she think Indian men are " gross " UNTILL she meets you. Because YOU are übermensch Indian. You've been working on yourself constantly, while the side effect is women will become more and more curious. This is how I am an afto Latino, and how I've been tge first " ethnic " man to a LOT of women! Women whom swore they would only mess witj lets say blonde surfer dudes somehow end up with me... Women who are WAY above me status wise somehow get their cheeks clapped by yours truly...

You can be factory stock, and get lucky because you meet a woman who has this factory stock image of the ideal man in her mind. But the downside to this is that you will be easily replaceable. Or you can leverage your unique qualities while improving on literally every aspect and thus become irresistible to more and more women...