I had been working my game on this girl who had been showing VERY high interest in me (I'm in grade 12, she's in grade 11), and after I decided that I would like to take her out to see if she was indeed girlfriend material, I called her up on Tuesday and told her that she and I should chill on Saturday at 8. However, to my disappointment, she told me that her parents are very protective of her because she is an only child and that they said they don't want her to date a Senior, so in spite of how badly she wanted to go out with me, she said she couldn't.
Now, I realize that normally a response like that is suspicious in that it could just be a girl's way of turning you down. Given the amount of interest this girl showed in me before, I don't think that was the case here... but that's not the point.
What I said in response to this was something along the lines of: "Well, that's disappointing... but sh1t happens. No hard feelings, yeah?" And thus, things ended right then and there, albeit on good terms.
What I SHOULD have said was: "Well, that's to be expected. Your parents have never met me before. They don't know if they can trust me or not."
The reason I should have said this was because it would have subtley put the idea in her head of having me meet her parents so that they can see what kind of person I am. I'm confident that if I had been able to meet her parents, they would have been impressed with me, and would have had no problem with her and I going out.
A girl's parents will ALWAYS be concerned about the kind of guy she's seeing. This is especially important for us guys in high school to realize, beacuse during high school is when a girl's parents have the most influence over her. This is why it's so important to make a good impression on a girl's parents. Not only does it ease their minds about their daughter's safety, but you can actually get her parents to think, "He's a nice guy. He SHOULD go out with our daughter." Also, by building a good rapport with her parents, you set yourself apart from the other guys in the eyes of the girl by showing maturity.
Here's a good example of how making a good impression on a girl's parents can make all the difference. A few months ago this other girl and I were partners for a Law project. She had a boyfriend, and I wasn't particularly interested in her, so there were no pretenses involved. Anyway, we were working on the project at her house, and when I arrived the first thing I did was go and meet her parents and siblings. All I did was be friendly, introduce myself, talk a little about the law project, and then get to work. When I left her house that day after we finished, I made sure to say my goodbyes to her family. When I saw this girl again on Monday, she said that her entire family was extremely impressed with me, and that her Mom said that she thought I would make a much better boyfriend than the one she already had!
If you can meet her parents and show them that you are a good person (i.e. you're not just trying to get some @$$, even if you are
), they'll give her the green light, and from then on it's smooth sailing. You and your girl won't need to worry about planning your time together in such a way that you avoid her parents altogether. You'll be able to come over to her house and chill with her without either of you worrying about the ever-watchful eye of her father stopping her from getting close to you. Hell, if you make a REALLY good impression, they might flat-out let you two be alone at her house. Doesn't all of that sound nice?
The lesson in a nutshell is: NEVER underestimate the effect of making a good impression on the parents!
Now, I realize that normally a response like that is suspicious in that it could just be a girl's way of turning you down. Given the amount of interest this girl showed in me before, I don't think that was the case here... but that's not the point.
What I said in response to this was something along the lines of: "Well, that's disappointing... but sh1t happens. No hard feelings, yeah?" And thus, things ended right then and there, albeit on good terms.
What I SHOULD have said was: "Well, that's to be expected. Your parents have never met me before. They don't know if they can trust me or not."
The reason I should have said this was because it would have subtley put the idea in her head of having me meet her parents so that they can see what kind of person I am. I'm confident that if I had been able to meet her parents, they would have been impressed with me, and would have had no problem with her and I going out.
A girl's parents will ALWAYS be concerned about the kind of guy she's seeing. This is especially important for us guys in high school to realize, beacuse during high school is when a girl's parents have the most influence over her. This is why it's so important to make a good impression on a girl's parents. Not only does it ease their minds about their daughter's safety, but you can actually get her parents to think, "He's a nice guy. He SHOULD go out with our daughter." Also, by building a good rapport with her parents, you set yourself apart from the other guys in the eyes of the girl by showing maturity.
Here's a good example of how making a good impression on a girl's parents can make all the difference. A few months ago this other girl and I were partners for a Law project. She had a boyfriend, and I wasn't particularly interested in her, so there were no pretenses involved. Anyway, we were working on the project at her house, and when I arrived the first thing I did was go and meet her parents and siblings. All I did was be friendly, introduce myself, talk a little about the law project, and then get to work. When I left her house that day after we finished, I made sure to say my goodbyes to her family. When I saw this girl again on Monday, she said that her entire family was extremely impressed with me, and that her Mom said that she thought I would make a much better boyfriend than the one she already had!
If you can meet her parents and show them that you are a good person (i.e. you're not just trying to get some @$$, even if you are
), they'll give her the green light, and from then on it's smooth sailing. You and your girl won't need to worry about planning your time together in such a way that you avoid her parents altogether. You'll be able to come over to her house and chill with her without either of you worrying about the ever-watchful eye of her father stopping her from getting close to you. Hell, if you make a REALLY good impression, they might flat-out let you two be alone at her house. Doesn't all of that sound nice? The lesson in a nutshell is: NEVER underestimate the effect of making a good impression on the parents!