"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

an ex issue

R

realmz1

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I was dumped in a relationship after 3.5 years of datng and basically was given 1 week to find somehwere to live....My ex "found" someone she would rather be with...now mind you a 27 yr old man ...divorced..well after his wife found out about the affair...with 2 kids. This incident happened over 1yr ago...I have moved on doing things a single guy my age should do...ya know travel...hang out whatever....no tie downs for sure! Constantly on the move...whether to LA,NY,NC...over seas shortly...free spirited...I think she sees how comfortable I am now...and wants in on the carefree life I now lead..

The ex decides to try keeping in contact with via text messages...I swear I would change my number but there are WAY TOO MANY contacts that have my number...to just change it..

With her last tranmission she has gotten an abortion(the other doods not my kid) and was gonna get married to this dood...I was like whatever do what you need to...and I get a call last night/early am...and she is telling me this dood just beat here,choked here,wailed on her back...and cheated on her...I must say she has a KEEPER there...ha ha ha a ha so NOW she is trying to jump into my life...with questions like do you think "we" can work out again? Are you single? Why?and I feel so bad about what I did...blah blah...I know this ancient femenine mind game trick..it won't work...I SO want to say...well I got the last laught huh...man this is just weird...in 2 months time she goes from wanting this doods baby and marriage to he has been beating me for the last few months?...I dunno...

To me after an abortion not to mention how she liquified the relationship...she is damaged goods...some say maybe we should work it out...and others are definATELY SAYING NO WAY BAD STUFF THERE...i AGREE i DON't ever think if I WERE to consider this...that I would trust her one little bit...anyone with some insight or psychological perspectives...please feel free to post them. Inquiring minds would like to know...
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Black_Italian

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First things first if any guy ever lays a hand on any female i personaly know or i ever stuck my d*ck in and i find out about it...... the guy ends up disapearing

That being said do something about the guy thats hitting her. But dont get into the realationship with her again she is obviously a self destructive person and shes going to drag you down with her its not worth it....
 
S

Sasha

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**** 3.5 years is a long time
a life time

and then she dumps you!

remember and move on!

Why do you want to put yourself in another 3.5 years of relationship just to get stabed in the back again?

If she dumped you once, belive me, she will dump you twice if the opportunity comes along!
 
B

Black_Italian

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Most importantly do something about the guy........No dont kill him thats to drastic...id go with the old garden scissors to the penis and tell him "you will be watching" he will never hit a girl again.
 
J

JonJack

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She does not know how to get what she wants. Or she's oblivious to the fact that the way she's going about relationships is not going to lead her to where she thinks it'll go. She has this idea of what it's gonna be like if she takes this course of action, only to have reality show her that her assumptions were gravely wrong.

She is clearly feeling lost. She's stuck in a terrible situation and she's looking for an exit. But she can't do it alone because she doesn't want to be alone. She keeps in touch because she sees you as an exit. You're the person that could solve her current problem. And maybe make herself feel happier.

Sure you could take her in and save her. She'll be happy for a while. But since you've lost your trust and respect for her, you'll be treating her differently. She'll complain about it just like complaining about being hit. And she'll use it as another excuse to find someone else to save her life. Or she could use whatever excuses she likes.

See how it continues on? It's a never ending cycle of mistakes for her. Do you think she regrets her decisions? And when a person regrets the decisions that they have made, what does that tell you about their character? Do you think she even thought about the possibility that the guy could be an abusive person? Does she really understand what she got herself into?

A person who constantly complains about their failed relationships, all the while putting the blame on others, will be doing it for the rest of their lives.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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M

MacDiddy

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REALM1:

Here is a guy that GETS it!!!!! Here is a guy that knows value vs. hardship & frustration...

So many a mice have trotted through this forum, for advice on how to get back with an ex as though they'd rather that and all the turmoil and BS that would entail, than being lonely and free and able to start fresh and breath the fine air of choice!!!
 
C

cave dweller

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waste.............

Wow,

Don't waste any more of your time, with that bytch.

'Lots of fish in the sea.'


cave dweller
 
R

realmz1

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thanx for the props macdiddy....and the info I posted was a few weeks old...she has since sucked me into her drama with her ex man and his wife...and I started recieving text's and call from these people about her...so I had to cut all contact since her drama is not mine...

and about the dood beating her I don't know if that was 100% factual or a story to drum up to get me to "talk" to her...kind of a pity move....But I honestly wouldn't "defend" her "honor if it were true. Granted it is a ***** move to hit a chick...but she made her bed and let someone else lie in it....

But since contact has ended its alot more peaceful on my side and I can continue to strengthen my stable and keep things moving...

thank you all for your input on my little issue. It is appreciated.
 
M

MindOverMatter

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and about the dood beating her I don't know if that was 100% factual or a story to drum up to get me to "talk" to her...kind of a pity move....But I honestly wouldn't "defend" her "honor if it were true. Granted it is a ***** move to hit a chick...but she made her bed and let someone else lie in it....
Click to expand...
good man :up:
 
M

mrRuckus

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Originally posted by Black_Italian
First things first if any guy ever lays a hand on any female i personaly know or i ever stuck my d*ck in and i find out about it...... the guy ends up disapearing
Click to expand...

oh god...:rolleyes:
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

F

flexion_

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Probably the best thing to do would be to cut contact completely with this person.

None of this stuff is your problem anymore. You are not her emotion support mechanism. There is no future with her so I wouldn't waste any more time on it. Its too bad she broke it off after 3.5 years but there is no going back.
 
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