"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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An ALL WOMEN BOARD

WORKEROUTER

Master Don Juan
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Sosuave Man,

You need to make an All Women board, so they can discuss women stuff...

I offer to be the moderator of this board.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Eternal

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Why? They have GP/DI, Swirl, and other sites for them to talk "womenly."
 

Sexy_Malibu

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Yeah I think if we wanted to talk to all women, we'd be on a women's site... We're here because we're talking to men (and we're attention *****s, right?)
 

SLIKKER_THAN_AVG

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LOL

Malibu have you gotten the third degree since your visits here?

You seem.........cynical
:D
 

Sexy_Malibu

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Originally posted by SLIKKER_THAN_AVG
LOL

Malibu have you gotten the third degree since your visits here?

You seem.........cynical
:D
Slik, I'm just ****ing around... I actually got a terrifyingly WARM welcome when I first arrived... the longer I hang around the more I hear "oh that nympho attention malibu better shut the **** up or give all of us a bj" but ... I have no problem with that (um... that is, I have no problem with HEARING that... I do have a problem with giving out bjs to all the djs). :D
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Sexy_Malibu

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Originally posted by WORKEROUTER
wow malibu baby chill out.

no reason to pms here
Wow. This was the first PMS reference I got while here... Thanks!! Not PMSing... all chilled out... don't you worry work, baby. I wish I could put tone of voice in my posts, because everyone keeps misunderstanding me... :p
 
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WH0RE!
 

HeyPretty

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You're just cranky cause you haven't had your juice.

Aww...

*hands Dead skin mask (nice name by the way) a valium*

Looks like someone's got a case of Tourettes.

*pat pat*
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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drixsa

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Originally posted by Sexy_Malibu
Yeah I think if we wanted to talk to all women, we'd be on a women's site... We're here because we're talking to men (and we're attention *****s, right?)
Yes. Yes you are.

wyldfire and mysterywoman are quite good though

so why are you here then?
 

THA REALNESS

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no

don't do it:mad:
 
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