An AFC can not be an alpha male

[n00bPimp]

This is the reason why you can not become an alpha.
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Have you ever stopped to think what it really would be like to be one?
Lets take into consideration some of the traits of an alpha male.

1. An alpha male is friendly to everyone and treats everyone equally,
Now lets think about this, picture going on about your day and having to befriend everyone that can be befriended. Would you be able to approach anyone at anytime no matter how intimidating they may seem? Would you be able to treat everyone from the most attractive HB10 you've ever seen to the bum on the street in the same manner? Would you say this takes huge effort? How would you feel if you knew it was your responsibility to do this every single day for the rest of your life?

2. An alpha male is a leader, he is the center of attention, the life of the party.
How would you feel if you knew that from now on, you would be the center of attention at most social gatherings, at work, school, etc. Would you miss the alone times you had an AFC? Would you ever feel like going back to the old times and stand by, watching the others have fun? How would you feel if everyone you knew admired you and looked to you for guidance and safety?.

3. An alpha male doesn't give in to **** tests, he leads women and lives on his own terms.
Imagine yourself having a couple hb9s that are nagging you about why you havent taken the time to see them, do you think you would put them in their place or would you crack and run to see them? How would you feel if a woman did something to purposely hurt your feelings, would you have the mental strength to control your emotions every single time it happens?

From the eyes of an AFC, it takes a lot to be an alpha male and yet, alpha males do all these things effortlessly, It just flows out of them, just like neediness flows out of an AFC.

My point here is that an AFC will never be a true alpha. You can not go around faking to be an alpha your whole life, sooner or later, you will crack..

An AFC must first be destroyed to give birth to the alpha.

That is the only way for a real alpha to come to be. And this is where the problem lies, destroying your AFC self is like destroying your physical self. You have lived with yourself for too damn long to let yourself go. So what most alpha wannabees do? they go around putting on this alpha persona, the one that comes out only weekends after 10pm. And after a few months, or years, they realize that they're still the same and they still have the same AFC issues. They''re still seeking approval, still asking others whether they passed her **** test, they're still showing everyone around that they get laid, and worst of all, they still treat people according to their physical qualities.
Fake it til you make it will not work here. Ask around, your real self will eventually come out ALWAYS (and most often at the worst possible time).

Conclusion: You can not an be alpha male while your AFC self is still alive.
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Solution: Spend an entire day being, not pretending to be, an alpha male. This means do all the things that an alpha male would do, and most imprtant, THINK how an alpha male would think. Do this for the rest of your life.



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[zekko]

1. An alpha male is friendly to everyone and treats everyone equally

Where did you get this idea?

 

[n00bPimp]

Where did you get this idea?

From watching alpha males, the ones that get laid at least.

 

[Bonafide]

Good post, I agree for the most part. What most guys come here to learn is how to ACT like somebody they really wish they could be. Acting and Being are two different things. There is always room for improvement, but you have to be really dedicated to making yourself a better person. There has to be a reason more than just getting girls or getting laid. You know, when I first got into this whole Don Juan thing, I realized that most of the stuff they were teaching about being 'alpha' was stuff that came natural to me. At my core I had the alpha mindset, but something was holding me back. I got into the whole "****y, dont give a **** about anyone but me" attitude and nonetheless - it made my interactions with women a bit more interesting...but that was about 2/3 years ago, when I was in HS as a BOY...as a BOY attracting GIRLS - then when I grew up I realized that all of that stuff was garbage, and I was really ACTING (and pretty damn good at it) and not BEING. But it was all a part of the GROWTH.


When you fully develop yourself as a man you'll look past techniques that some random guy suggested to you, you wont be wondering if you should call this girl, or if you should type LOL on the instant messenger. You will know right from wrong, you'll be able to control your emotions, you won't have petty fears or fret over insignificant things and you will lead a great life - and women will want to follow.

 

[BananaSmile]

Where did you get this idea?

alpha male is the leader because people like him and respect him
not because he is a strongest and could beat the sht out of everyone

although i notice that "the leading male in a social circle" is almost all the time a high testosterone lvl azs but he is not an alpha.

btw just a note those huges muscled guys who are all alphas they are working for the MAN, hahahaha and thats what my dad tells me

 

[zekko]

alpha male is the leader because people like him and respect him
not because he is a strongest and could beat the sht out of everyone

Interesting take, I've never heard of this before. In nature, the alpha male is the one who can beat up all the other males. In seduction when they talk about alpha males they are usually talking about primitive urges that are stirred within the female. Supposedly that's one reason they like the "bad boy" and the "jerk", there's a certain amount of aggression and testosterone there.

I suppose what you're talking about is a more modern take. Bottom line, the alpha is the male with the most power. A CEO is the alpha male of his company. I don't think he is necessarily the guy that the most people like. But he has to have had a certain amount of social savvy to get where they is. A lot of times these guys are very ruthless backstabbing types, megalomaniacs. But they know how to network and cozy up to the right people.

although i notice that "the leading male in a social circle" is almost all the time a high testosterone lvl azs but he is not an alpha

If he's the leading male then he's the alpha male, isn't he? I'm not sure I'm following this concept. I can see that if a guy treats everybody well and is well liked, that might give him a certain amount of power in a social group.

But think of, say, high school. The quarterback of the football team might be the alpha male. He's not the alpha because he treats everybody equally. He probably gets along the best with the other jocks. As long as he is in with the in crowd, he doesn't really have to treat the people of lower social status well to enjoy the benefits of being the alpha male.

There are a lot of different scenarios whereby a guy can become the alpha male, a lot of different ways to gain that power. I don't think it necessarily goes to the nicest guy in the room, not by a long shot.

 

[Atom Smasher]

OP, very insightful post.

To expound: In the animal kingdom, the alpha dominates with physical strength and body language. Also a projection of "presence".

In humans, I would say the alpha dominates with verbalization and physical presence, which often includes physical strength. Social dominance and calibration is the key.

For the AFC, the very thought of being verbally dominant and the life of the party seems so foreign and ethereal to them; an utter impossibility. And as they are today, it is in fact an impossibility because they are socially underdeveloped or even socially retarded.

The thing to remember is that we as men are not stuck with who/what we are. We can change ourselves by taking the fire, the hammer and the anvil to ourselves in order to forge an "alpha man" (as the saying goes).

To acheive the "impossible" task of becoming a dominant man, the afc must start to chat up everybody he meets in day-to-day life, and to provide an undercurrent of providing value to each person he interacts with.

At first, for weks or moths, he might feel horribly awkward, but underneath the surface he is beginning to calibrate socially. This is inseen to him at this time.

As time goes on his conversations become easier, and it becomes easier to genuinely care about what the other person is saying, which is critically important. Soon this translates to gaming and an easier flow with women.

Remember, AFC, you are not stuck with how you are. You are not a story written in stone. You are in fact a mallable piece of metal, and you have the tools to forge yourself into a formidable man of power and presence, even if you can't see that today.

Don't look at the big picture, at the road ahead. It is too huge and intimidating. Instead, think in terms of baby steps. Ask yourself, what can I do today, at this moment, to put a penny in the bank of the life that I want to design? Talk to that person at the deli and care about what he is telling you. Sit down next to that old lady in the park and ask her how she's doing, and empathize with her. Imagine how lonely she might be, what her life must be like.

Baby steps are the key. Remember that no matter what, you are always one tiny decision away from getting back on the right track. I call it "hitting your reset switch".

Do this for the rest of your life and you will become "alpha". You won't strive to be alpha, or "think" your way into becoming alpha. You will become it by having the intent and daring to go through the daily process. Don't take your pleasure and sense of satisfaction from the outcome of your interactions. Rather, take your sense of satisfaction from being in the process. Forget about the destination. It will seem too far away and be intimidating. Look at the track beneath your wheels, and remind yourself how few men in the world are actually on this track, but YOU are.

 

[Atom Smasher]

But think of, say, high school. The quarterback of the football team might be the alpha male. He's not the alpha because he treats everybody equally. He probably gets along the best with the other jocks. As long as he is in with the in crowd, he doesn't really have to treat the people of lower social status well to enjoy the benefits of being the alpha male.

There are a lot of different scenarios whereby a guy can become the alpha male, a lot of different ways to gain that power. I don't think it necessarily goes to the nicest guy in the room, not by a long shot.

Have you ever noticed how the high school quarterback often falls into obscurity and afc-ness after high school and college?

That's because the high-school football team is a contrived structure upon which he is basing his popularity. He is able to function while that stucture is there for him, but he becomes lost when that undergirding is removed.

I think this is why we need to create our own structure, our own frame upon which we build our lives. When we do this, we become self-sustaining and don't require an outside structure to uphold our popularity, effectivemess, and alpha status. I like the term, "Internal Locus of Control", stolen from the psychology field.

 

[Warrior74]

That reminds me of how on some other site someone called the nerd founder of Facebook the alpha male of his company. Which he is. Alpha male is nothing other than the top dog in your pack. How you became the top dog doesn't matter, how you maintain it doesnt matter. Being nice doesnt matter. Saddam was the alpha male of Iraq. Alpha males like all leaders have their moments of power and fall off. Nobody stays at the top forever either through sickness, death, or replaced by stronger new pups.

I don't know where you guys get this hippy version of alpha male who is friends with everyone LOL. Go watch sons of anarchy or the wire. The leader of gangs is the alpha male. Al Capone was an alpha male. Tookie Williams who created the crips gang was an alpha male. Hitler was an alpha male. Bill Gates is microsofts alpha male. Not because they were bigger or or kinder, but only because they were the leader the guy with the plan and the will and the luck to make it happen for the group.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Right. Alpha status is usually granted to the alpha dog (not seized by him, because he is perceived as adding value to their lives. Of course the exception is dictatorships and such, as guns have a way of being very convincing. Aside from that, it is the perception of adding value and "taking care of the group" that causes the followers to grant alpha status.

People are by nature followers and robots and are actively looking for someone to lead them and make their decisions for them. It removes their sense of personal responsibility which convicts them. Take that insight and run with it, men.

Edited for grammar.