Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
do you go out in leiden? And are you a member of any student club?Rubdown said:Rotterdam here, I'm often in Leiden too since I study there.
Yea, I haven't been abroad much, so I can't really compare. But I think so too. Girls here are indeed cold and distant. That's kina the nature of the Dutch in general though. When I try to make a light little chat while waiting for the bus, people look at me like I'm retarted for doing that.1. The women seem cold and very tough to game(don't even throw out vibes, act like you're not there, etc.)
You probably went to the wrong bars. In weekdays there's not much is going on here. Thursday, friday and saturday are usually really busy. With plenty of girls too.2. All the bars are nothing but sausage fests, like somebody already pointed out in this thread. Seriously, you'd think you'd go to Amsterdam, supposedly one of the biggest party scenes in the world, only to come to a place with bars packed with guys watching soccer. Not only are most of these bars packed with guys, but are't even half way full on top of it. You can walk into any Amsterdam bar and not be surprised to only find maybe 7-10 people sipping down beers. I mean, come on. Now, keep in mind, I'm only observing what I've seen on WEEKDAYS, perhaps things are different on the weekends. The closest to the weekend that I've been there was on Thursdays, and I can tell you, for Thursday nights, the bars are sausage fests, with maybe 15 people. Pretty bad.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
snowdog said:Also Rotterdam here.
Yea, I haven't been abroad much, so I can't really compare. But I think so too. Girls here are indeed cold and distant. That's kina the nature of the Dutch in general though. When I try to make a light little chat while waiting for the bus, people look at me like I'm retarted for doing that.
You probably went to the wrong bars. In weekdays there's not much is going on here. Thursday, friday and saturday are usually really busy. With plenty of girls too.
Not a big fan of clubs. My friends sometimes drag me into off_corso. I also went to the Catwalk a couple of times. The Catwalk is OK. The atmosphere is friendly there and kinda weird. Lots of people on drugs, lol. Nighttown is also nice.Captain Harlock said:Which clubs do you like to go to in Rotterdam snowdog?
I don't know much about Amsterdam. I rarely get there. In Rotterdam, everything is a bit dead except for thursday, friday and saturday. Probably the same in Amsterdam.I don't know, as far as what I've been able to see, bars in De Wallen on Thursday's suck. I hear Rotterdam is a good place to be. I hear the club scene is good. Actually, there is a bar on Damrak that looked pretty decent. Near Hotel Van Gelder. But by the time me and my buddy got there, it was closing. I just came back from Holland on Thursday.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.