Ambiguous relationship

[Peacebewithyou]

Hey guys,

So, yesterday I posted about texting problems with this one girl.

See http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=200404

However, when we saw each other last night, we talked, I kissed and hugged her. She ended up telling me that she feels like I don't take her seriously. I didn't really respond except with more hugging and kissing. I think she is looking for something more serious between us, but I am not sure I want to be serious yet. How do I deal with this? Thanks guys.

 

[silkyjohnson]

Sounds like she is past the games and wants something more serious from you. You answered your own question though. If you don't want a relationship and she is a nice girl then just be honest and tell her you don't want a relationship. The worst that can happen would be you next her and keep seeking strange from women who don't care about a relationship. Well...I suppose the worst would be she stalks you for years because you're the one that got away...depends on how you look at it though lol.

In my opinion there are plenty of women that love flings so give that to them because that's all you want anyway. Save the actual good girls for more honorable pursuits.

 

[Fly By Night]

You said that she wants something serious, if it was me in that situation, I would just tell her something along the lines of: needing to know her more or that we should enjoy the company of each other more than having the status of a relationship.

But she said that you aren't taking her seriously. That makes me think that you're not taking her out on dates and taking her straight to your place. In that case, you should take her out somewhere and don't be outcome dependent. But, always escalate during the date to make her want more.

But you can always keep making out with her and dodging the question, which would probably make her feel s1utty and want to stop seeing you.

 

[om1xr]

well she won't give you the only thing she got to offer to you(SEX) until she see some signs commitment from your side ....she wants to settle down and say farewell to bachelorhood so if you love your bachelorhood the only thing i can tell you is ...WALK AWAY she wants a boyfriend who will become husband someday !!

 

[zekko]

You know, I've lived with my girlfriend for 10 years now, and I don't think we've once sat down and had the "what are we?" chat. I don't think we've ever actually officially labeled what kind of relationship we have.

It's just apparent that we're into each other, and that we're together. And we're together because we want to be, not because we've made some sort of verbal commitment. Women will break that in the drop of a hat anyway, if that's what they want to do.

 

[dap]

My opinion is that this is a good place to be in. The girl should always be the one pushing for something more serious. So, I say that you should start treating her a little more like a girlfriend--maybe take her on a date every now and then (unless you want this to be a fling in which case it is probably about to end). Don't ever verbalize that you are treating her more like a girlfriend, just use it as a way to reward good behavior. Girls are the ones that are supposed to be verbal about their feelings/intentions/etc, you show through action.