Ambigious letter - proper response?

[Leporello]

Contacted a girl on a college dating site a few weeks ago. She responded immediately and we've been trading e-mails daily since then. We're into alot of the same things, she has ideas for restaurants we could go to and the possibility of us 'clicking'.

Then today, after the usual banter she writes:

"OK, sorry to bring this up, but what exactly were you looking for? dating
or friends too..?"

She's never mentioned having a boyfriend or not being into guys (and she WAS on a dating site 'seeking a man') but you never know.

Advice?

 

[onthepath]

but what exactly were you looking for? dating
or friends too..?"

if you've been trading emails for weeks now and yuo're interested in her step it up and meet her in person

 

[Leporello]

if you've been trading emails for weeks now and yuo're interested in her step it up and meet her in person

That was my intention this weekend. In my last e-mail to her I mentioned a place I wanted to go with her and got this response.

 

[onthepath]

then perhaps try any response that makes your intentions clear without sounding too boring or lame

meet me at here at x and find out for yourself
and wear something nice

 

[Leporello]

It annoys me that she asked that question without giving a hint of her own feelings.

UNLESS she just wants to be sure this is a date and not just a hangout, though given my luck i doubt it.

 

[aliasguy]

This chick wrote you THIS????:

"OK, sorry to bring this up, but what exactly were you looking for? dating
or friends too..?"



It's not clear, and we don't even know what she really means, do we?


CALL her back ... ask her what the hell she's TALKING about ... do it smooothly and nicely. And DON'T answer her question!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


You are clearly in the driver's seat, here, and if you do it RIGHT, you'll win big.

 

[Leporello]

OK, I was thinking something along the lines of:

"I want to meet new people, and you seem pretty cool. How about you?"

 

[onthepath]

OK, I was thinking something along the lines of:

"I want to meet new people, and you seem pretty cool. How about you?"

truth be told, i dont think you could stuff it up too badly with whatever you say

if youve been conversing for several weeks daily then its unlikely that she'll want to stop all contact

i think you should just go with it

 

[smooth guy]

"why are you interested?"

 

[typical]

"why are you interested?"

Yea but say it over the phone if you must and go from there

 

[Leporello]

Damnation.

I wrote "As for what am I looking for, I'm looking to
meet new people, and you seem really cool. What about you?"

She responded "I just assumed you'd be looking for a date, and I didn't make it clear in the beginning that I'm just looking for friendship. but anywho, you seem cool too- I mean, you're a music dork, and people can't get much cooler than music dorks "

Bah

Edit: Oh yeah, what's the deal with so many chicks on dating sites not looking for a date? This was the first time in years I'd tried to use the net to game girls, but as I recall it was exctly the same back then.

 

[Craig_87]

you shouldnt have answered tbh......but hey,, its not all bad ....shes teasing you "Music dork".......meet up and im sure youll click.....probably likes you, bu doesnt want to appear slutty

 

[Bible_Belt]

Contacted a girl on a college dating site

"I just assumed you'd be looking for a date, and I didn't make it clear in the beginning that I'm just looking for friendship. but anywho, you seem cool too- I mean, you're a music dork, and people can't get much cooler than music dorks "

That fvcking AW. Why is she on a dating site looking for "friends?" Call her on her bvllsh!t, that's what women want. But do it in a fun joking way.

And a woman who will say she just wants a "friend" will still have sex with you if you play your cards right. She could just mean that she is scared of having some clingy wuss guy bothering her all the time. This is what I hear when women say they want a friend. I just assume that I still get to have sex with her. If, after I have done my best - demonstrate value, make her laugh, kino, isolate, and kiss test, and then she turns her head or pushes me away when I go to kiss her (it happens ), then that means that she only sees you as a friend, because it's an action. Words mean nothing.

 

[Interceptor]

Classic sh*t tests, gentlemen.


There you have it. Right there.


You want her, Leo?

Go get her.
Her words are her screen.
You're a Man of Action.
You take what you want.
Take her.
She wants to be taken by someone.
Why not you?

Don't be put off and think you're defeated.

march on.

Go get'em, Tiger.

 

[ketostix]

Yeah you should've mostly ignored her original question, or replied with something like, " Wouldn't you like to know". Anyway you shouldn't have fell for the bait or went down that discussion thread imo. You should jut meet up with her and escalate and take it from there.

 

[smooth guy]

Well, my ex used to tell me I was her "best friend" but she still gave IOI so I followed my instinct and started to pursue her. She only said that because she thought I didn't feel the same way. So I wouldn't always trust the friends speech.

And.. she hasn't met you. How can she judge so early? You know people are and feel different in real life than behind a monitor.

 

[James Bondage]

"I just assumed you'd be looking for a date, and I didn't make it clear in the beginning that I'm just looking for friendship. but anywho, you seem cool too- I mean, you're a music dork, and people can't get much cooler than music dorks "

This is how I perceive it. Sorry to bring you the harsh, cold reality (or at least how I see it), but that's what this site is meant to be all about, right?

I think she is on there to look for dates, she's just not interested in you and has relegated you to the friend zone. Otherwise, she wouldn't declare to you that she's 'just looking for friendship'.. she is trying to let you down gently IMO.

Best thing to do is look elsewhere for some action.. by all means keep in touch as friends if you want but it'll be an uphill struggle if you want anything more. There's so many more women out there, why waste all your effort on this one?

 

[Leporello]

Actually, I just checked and her profile has been taken down.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Contacted a girl on a college dating site a few weeks ago. She responded immediately and we've been trading e-mails daily since then. We're into alot of the same things, she has ideas for restaurants we could go to and the possibility of us 'clicking'.

Then today, after the usual banter she writes:

"OK, sorry to bring this up, but what exactly were you looking for? dating
or friends too..?"

She's never mentioned having a boyfriend or not being into guys (and she WAS on a dating site 'seeking a man') but you never know.

Advice?

Until the two of you stop being pen pals and actually get together there is no definitive way to tell if she's interested or not (you need to find out too).