"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Amazing date until the end, wtf happened?

JonnyD123

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Went out with this girl whom I actually slept w/ multiple times last year. Kept in touch, and met up tonight.

Met around 4:30 for sushi. She came to my place, I drove, she paid. Good sign.

Went downtown for some drinks, she bought first round, I bought second. Good kino and sexual banter throughout. Again, good sign.

Fast forward, around 7:30, got back to my place. She came upstairs and we had a few more drinks. Around 8:30 she says she has to go.

I said "ok."

She came across the room and gave me a hug. I then picked her up and threw her on the bed. She laughed. I jumped on top of her, and started kissing her neck.

She then goes "that's not fair, you know I like that."

I continue. Finally, her whole demeanor changed and I snapped out of what I was doing. She pretty much just left immediately after that. Up until that point I thought it was on for sure. It felt extremely awkward though after that. Any suggestions on wtf I'm supposed to do now? Trying to play damage control.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

way2smart

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Go no contact. Let her come to you. I can't stress this enough, don't contact her at all!

If she is interested she will contact you first and maybe even apologize.
When she does contact you, try setting up another date, but don't take her out anywhere, just say "Hey let's make dinner at my place and drink wine." She will know you want to bang her, at that point if she says no, forget about her and move on to next girl. If she says yes, make dinner at home and **** her afterwards.

You should have started having sex with her as soon as you entered your place, instead of having a few more drinks.
When she said "I have to go", it was already too late, she waited too long and got bored. Instead you did a typical AFC move, picked her up and threw her on your bed? WTF? You should have let her go, when she said she needed to go.
 

El Payaso

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Do not contact her. Let her sort out get issues on her own. Personally, I wouldn't respond even if she contacted me. She would probably just be checking to see if you're mad at her. Once she confirms, she will go back to ignoring you.

Chalk her up to done and dusted. Ignore her forever. Nothing short of coming up your front door and apologizing should require your response.
 

LMFAO

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This is why it is best to give her the excuses before she has a chance to give you hers, RSD call it covering the exits. Give them all the excuses so they have none left. I usually start a date by telling her I need to get up tomorrow morning, before bringing her back to her place I would say it's OK I'm tired anyway I need to wake up early tomorrow. That way you'll always be a bit of a challenge to her and if she brings up that she has to go home you are one step ahead of her anyway "I know I'm tired anyway".

Go no contact with her. If she wants to reach out she will. At this point she should be giving you reasons for wanting to go out with her, because any sane man (non brainwashed AFC) would not waste one more minute on her.
 

JonnyD123

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LMFAO said:
This is why it is best to give her the excuses before she has a chance to give you hers, RSD call it covering the exits. Give them all the excuses so they have none left. I usually start a date by telling her I need to get up tomorrow morning, before bringing her back to her place I would say it's OK I'm tired anyway I need to wake up early tomorrow. That way you'll always be a bit of a challenge to her and if she brings up that she has to go home you are one step ahead of her anyway "I know I'm tired anyway".

I like this. A lot. Gonna carry that one in the back pocket.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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G_Govan

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When you say her demeanor changed, what exactly happened?
 

JonnyD123

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G_Govan said:
When you say her demeanor changed, what exactly happened?
She put her hands on my chest and said "seriously, stop."

I could just tell it wasn't playful anymore, and the last thing I want is to be accused of attempted rape.
 

Yewki

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way2smart said:
You should have started having sex with her as soon as you entered your place, instead of having a few more drinks.
When she said "I have to go", it was already too late, she waited too long and got bored. Instead you did a typical AFC move, picked her up and threw her on your bed? WTF? You should have let her go, when she said she needed to go.
At first I thought this move on his part was rather bold and alpha, but replaying the scenario in my head I think you're right it comes across more as desperate and AFC. The OP waited too long and missed his chance, then when she wanted to go he does something desperate at the last second for sex.
 

TheGambino

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Don't sweat it. Just go no contact and give her less attention. Don't be mad but short and nice in your answers. Act like nothing happened and see if she suggests a meet up then go for it and escalate slowly to your bedroom again
 

Thorninmyside

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JonnyD123 said:
She then goes "that's not fair, you know I like that."

I continue.
I probably would have flipped the script on her and said "you're right. You need to leave" and have her either backflip and beg for more or leave and wonder what could have happened next. She needs to think that getting the D is as much about her desire as yours. But tbh, she kinda sounds like a moody b!tch anyway. I would just apply the no f*cks given protocol. You don't owe anyone an apology or recovery strategy for being a man with desires.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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