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AMA about girls with BPD

Infern0

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I get a LOT of DM's on this subject and im to be honest growing tired of it. I'm looking to be done with the topic pretty soon as it's become tiresome and plays no role in my life anymore.

However out of respect for the guys that need it, here it is the thread that'll be my last word on BPD, I'll answer anything asked in this thread on the subject UNTIL NEW YEARS and then I'm done.

Fire away
 

Infern0

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FAQ's

Q: Can I ever have a have a happy relationship with my BPD girl

A: No


Q: I'm seeing this girl with BPD what should I....

A: Run


Q: Can BPD be treated

A: With YEARS of therapy multiple times a week and real accountability... maybe it can be "diminished" but that's not likely to ever happen


Q: Are these girls evil?

A: Is a lion taking down its prey evil? These girls just do what they evolved to do
 
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mrgoodstuff

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FAQ's

Q: Can I ever have a have a happy relationship with my BPD girl

A: No


Q: I'm seeing this girl with BPD what should I....

A: Run


Q: Can BPD be treated

A: With YEARS of therapy multiple times a week and real accountability... maybe it can be "diminished" but that's not likely to ever happen


Q: Are these girls evil?

A: Is a lion taking down its prey evil? These girls just do what they evolved to do
Dont BPD's feed off your happiness and get a rush from a negative reaction in you?
 

Soflobro#3

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There's a good likelihood if that's truly the case.
For example. After we first met in person (we talked for a couple weeks on the phone because she was staying at her parents all summer) she to pick me up from my halfway house to go to these Chinese buffet. I always drove her car. But this stupid b1tch from Connecticut was trying hard to cut in front of me on the freeway when there was plenty of space behind me, so i just got as close to car in front of me as i could and said "fvck this b1tch, trying cut me" so after a few minutes and tries this woman moved on way ahead of me and cut over.

My ex was telling me to let her in and i said "**** no, shes an idiot I'm not going to let someone like that in because they're driving like a retard" and i stopped talking. I was tired aftet working a manual labor job in 90 degree weather for 10 hours and i was a bit moody. She just repeated herself "no you should have let her in" and it almost pissed me off, but i just dropped it. It was the way she said it too.

Or she'd try and start arguments and when i started taking kratom again, that stuff makes me irritable and sometimes a bit paranoid. It just makes me kind of emotional to because i become more needy (in terms of physical affection) because frankly it makes me feel good and makes it feel good to give and receive affection.

Now you have to understand i didn't work for like 7 months when i first moved in with her. When we started getting into little spats a few times i jst started taking it a lot to the point that's all i did. I would donate plasma just to get money to get kratom. But also i did kratom instead of drinking because i needed something.

We had some bad fights where i went apesh1t. I litterally ripped a door off the wall once. Man she would wait for me to get a little heated and when i did, she'd stop responding, she wouldn't look at me or say anything, except to talk a little sh1t and i was already angry. Sometimes she'd straight up deny something that was obviously true just to argue.

She'd disagree with me when having a casual conversation when she was 100% wrong. She told me all about her childhood and one time i brought up how sometimes her mom "showed she cared in a strange way" ( her mom is Cambodian and would put her kids down a lot) and how when her mom would go off on her, that it was attention even if negative attention. Shr litterally just said "no it's not" to wish i calmly explained why it was. She would just disagree and then straight up ignore anything i said after that. She would deny doin this too. For a long time i just ignored it. But over time it just kept eating away at me to the point id call her out on it, or call her out on staright to giving me the cold shoulder for no reason.
 

Soflobro#3

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There's a good likelihood if that's truly the case.
I know my two posts are not that coherent but i don't have the most accurate memories of that relationship because it was very dramatic and i was kind of intoxicated a lot of the time. But what do you think based on my explanation of what happened?
 

Soflobro#3

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how do I know girl is BPD OP? whats the most common behavior
I would also like to know the most common trait. I know that they don't always have substance abuse problems or are promiscuous or participate in dangerous behaviors.

A lot of high testosterone males have substance abuse issues and do dangerous / irresponsible behaviors. It's funny how that works. Bdps and high test males have similar behaviors.
 

tutu78

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I get a LOT of DM's on this subject and im to be honest growing tired of it. I'm looking to be done with the topic pretty soon as it's become tiresome and plays no role in my life anymore.

However out of respect for the guys that need it, here it is the thread that'll be my last word on BPD, I'll answer anything asked in this thread on the subject UNTIL NEW YEARS and then I'm done.

Fire away
Dude, I was one of the guys who DM'ed you about the BPD. Thanks for opening up this thread.

I was gonna ask you how and after how long time did you get over the great fun times with those?
 

tutu78

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how do I know girl is BPD OP? whats the most common behavior
Ask her if she is BPD lol.
For me the biggest giveaways during the start;

-Mommy issues, many of us confuse that with dad issues but most of the women can get over that but mom issues are nearly impossible to get over.
-Black and white thinking
-Extreme love bombing
-Claimed date-rape cases
-Hypersensitivity
-She doesn't adapt to your sense of humor(this might be too personal so i'm not so sure)
 
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Billtx49

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When did you first see the raging? I have dated women with all the pre-reqs but never saw the raging

Love Bombing: do they do things that simply cannot be faked, to where you believe they truly did love you in that fleeting moment?

Do they get bored when they capture you, or when some small thing triggers abandonment?
.
The raging starts when they think you’re getting way too emotionally close to them. Time with her isn’t a factor as to when raging starts, but your emotions combined with her fear are. Some go verbal, some are physical, some are both.

Get her in bed with you and she truly has no limits, whatever you want to do, shes good to go.

Even if she doesn’t directly praise you, she will do it to her friends and relatives and you will hear about it.

You start geting closer to her, she starts gradually pulling away.

You’re looking at an emotional child in a woman’s body, and in the early stages if you start feeling like a personal and sex god in her life something is wrong.
 
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soulforge

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Too many guys confuse LOSS of interest, with BDP

When a chick stops feeling for you, or you have let her get away with disrespect over a period of time, she will treat you like UTTER garbage.

This how some woman roll.. It does not mean she is mentally ill.. Just simply means she doesn't care any longer, and when this happens.. Woman can be extremely cruel and CONFUSING
 

soulforge

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Too many guys confuse LOSS of interest, with BDP

When a chick stops feeling for you, or you have let her get away with disrespect over a period of time, she will treat you like UTTER garbage.

This how some woman roll.. It does not mean she is mentally ill.. Just simply means she doesn't care any longer, and when this happens.. Woman can be extremely cruel and CONFUSING
That doesn't mean BDP woman don't exist, they certainly do.. But maybe not at the rate of what we hear about on SS
 

tutu78

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When did you first see the raging? I have dated women with all the pre-reqs but never saw the raging, maybe I didn't get that close.

Love Bombing: do they do things that simply cannot be faked, to where you believe they truly did love you in that fleeting moment? Contrasted with the fake stuff they use to string you on for validation later. There were a few incredible love polemics written virtually in the moment that finally broke down my guard with one. The rest was just obvious fake flattery(although actions sort of backed it up).

Do they get bored when they capture you, or when some small thing triggers abandonment?

I am more of a narcissist/histrionic magnet than full blown BPD I think, but I have dated a few cutters for short periods of time and that is a sure fire BPD symptom.
In my case the raging started when you get too close, once almost got my nose broken.
 

The_411

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BPD or no, ultimately it doesn’t matter because you cannot control her behavior only yours.

It’s up to a guy to get away from toxic girls and not tolerate bad behavior and not ignore red flags.

Having been in a BPD relationship, their behaviors are easy to spot because they operate as if they were reading the same playbook.


Lovebombing is a big give away.
Other red flags are lack of relationships with other girls, lots of male “friends”, relationships with people much older than they are, lack of hobbies, poor relationship with family, etc.

These women prey on guys who ignore the red flags and have insecurity issues.

Usually they overdramatize events, they talk about horrible events nonchalanyltly (sans empathy). They usually have had some bad things happen to them and they play it off as nothing.

Impulsivity is always an issue that can manifest in a variety of ways.

They can seem infantile in speech and behavior, like baby talk or throwing tantrums.

They try to isolate you from your friends and family.

Bizarre racist rants or extreme bigoted behavior.

False accusations of cheating. For example a neighbor who I didn’t know said Hello and I wasn’t even looking at her, and I was accused of cheating.

Irrational behavior that doesn’t match up with an event. Excessive/extreme behavior. For example someone at work winning a raffle and she flips out at home that she didn’t get it.

Getting upset that you cannot read her mind. Getting upset that you are sweating.

Plenty more terrible behaviors to list.
 

Soflobro#3

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The raging starts when they think you’re getting way too emotionally close to them. Time with her isn’t a factor as to when raging starts, but your emotions combined with her fear are. Some go verbal, some are physical, some are both.

Get her in bed with you and she truly has no limits, whatever you want to do, shes good to go.

Even if she doesn’t directly praise you, she will do it to her friends and relatives and you will hear about it.

You start geting closer to her, she starts gradually pulling away.

You’re looking at an emotional child in a woman’s body, and in the early stages if you start feeling like a personal and sex god in her life something is wrong.
I don't think my ex was bpd then. Probably just narcissistic, or just a b1tch. But she was kind of a b1tch to everyone.
 

Soflobro#3

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Bigit
BPD or no, ultimately it doesn’t matter because you cannot control her behavior only yours.

It’s up to a guy to get away from toxic girls and not tolerate bad behavior and not ignore red flags.

Having been in a BPD relationship, their behaviors are easy to spot because they operate as if they were reading the same playbook.


Lovebombing is a big give away.
Other red flags are lack of relationships with other girls, lots of male “friends”, relationships with people much older than they are, lack of hobbies, poor relationship with family, etc.

These women prey on guys who ignore the red flags and have insecurity issues.

Usually they overdramatize events, they talk about horrible events nonchalanyltly (sans empathy). They usually have had some bad things happen to them and they play it off as nothing.

Impulsivity is always an issue that can manifest in a variety of ways.

They can seem infantile in speech and behavior, like baby talk or throwing tantrums.

They try to isolate you from your friends and family.

Bizarre racist rants or extreme bigoted behavior.

False accusations of cheating. For example a neighbor who I didn’t know said Hello and I wasn’t even looking at her, and I was accused of cheating.

Irrational behavior that doesn’t match up with an event. Excessive/extreme behavior. For example someone at work winning a raffle and she flips out at home that she didn’t get it.

Getting upset that you cannot read her mind. Getting upset that you are sweating.

Plenty more terrible behaviors to list.
Bigoted behavior? Like what?
 

Soflobro#3

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Too many guys confuse LOSS of interest, with BDP

When a chick stops feeling for you, or you have let her get away with disrespect over a period of time, she will treat you like UTTER garbage.

This how some woman roll.. It does not mean she is mentally ill.. Just simply means she doesn't care any longer, and when this happens.. Woman can be extremely cruel and CONFUSING
But my ex would lose interest and gain in back every few days, sometimes in a day.
 
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