Am I wrong?

[jophil28]

what do you want? do you want to be done with this? or do you want to stay in a netherworld where you are "kinda" divorced and kinda not? If you want to really end it, so that you can move on completely, then you have to start cutting the cord. Start by taking control of your money and getting her to stand on her own two feat. That will be harder if she knows that you are there with the bucket to catch anything that falls through. Make an agreement then stick to it. Be the CFO of your own life. I see this as more than about money. I see this as about not letting go...with money as the glue that keeps you stuck together.

Yeah, true words.
I know a guy who has been separated for three years. He bought another house two years ago in his name only and lives in it. He has two young teen kids who live with his ex. HE sees them every other w'end.
He still allows her to open his mail (she has the key to his post office box)
All his utilities bills go to this box, and she scrutinises every piece of mail and challenges him about his spending.. HE complains about her, but runs over to her whenever she has a problem ( and she invents plenty) . He is Mr Fix-it-up. and she plays him like a fiddle.
I have urged him to start to cut the ties by taking back his mail key, but he is in fear that she will withhold the kids in retribution.


Some guys...

 

[Nutz]

what do you want? do you want to be done with this? or do you want to stay in a netherworld where you are "kinda" divorced and kinda not? If you want to really end it, so that you can move on completely, then you have to start cutting the cord. Start by taking control of your money and getting her to stand on her own two feat. That will be harder if she knows that you are there with the bucket to catch anything that falls through. Make an agreement then stick to it. Be the CFO of your own life. I see this as more than about money. I see this as about not letting go...with money as the glue that keeps you stuck together.

Solid points. This is why I'm moving towards cutting her loose and getting things finalized sooner rather than later. What makes it hard is all the debt we have together and the fat tax return, about $14K, was really an awesome thing and put a dent in teh debt. If we get divorced there won't be anymore joint tax returns. Well, we'll get one more but then that'll be it.

Anyway, us separating our bills and debts is jus the first step in teh process.

 

[game.r]

This is just depressing . How could you agree to this... ever, for any reason?!?? This is beyond me.