Am I working backwards?

[JiGGhaMan]

It's fcking weird. At first I approached with a good amount of confidence. Then as I approached more it kept getting fcking harder.

Maybe because I took a break from it before spring break? (I had too much school stuff todo.)

I've done 25 approaches so far, plus one just a few minutes ago. I don't care about the rejection, hell all I care about is that I did something to improve my life. I don't know why it seems a little harder than when I first started...

This is how my last approach went. (It was in the library.)

Me: Can I talk to you for a few minutes?
Her: Why?
Me: So I can get to know you.
Her: Well I'm kind of busy...
Me: You have a boyfriend?
Her: No.
Me: So maybe we can talk later....do you have an email address or phone number you can give me?
Her: Um.............................this is kind of wierd.................are you serious?
Me: Yeah
Her: .................
Me: Well if you're not okay with it then it's fine.
Her: No, I am somewhat talking to someone right now.
Me: OK. What's your name?
Her: (i forgot her name...lol)

(I shake hands with her.)

Her: What's yours?
Me: Jigghaman.
Her: Jigghaman?
Me: Yeah. Well it was nice talking to you.

(I walk off)

Her: Bye
Me: Bye

[This conversation demonstarates what Oxide posted about some guy pushing the girl to agree with her. I still did it they way I did it, because doing something is better than doing nothing. Also I had nothing to loose.]

Anyways, the fear kicks in when I standup from my seat and I look for some chicks to talk to. It goes away when I say my first word/sentence...like "Hi" or something. My performance was much better the first day. Has this happened to any of you? The intensity of the fear is suppose to decrease after approaching, but for me it seems to be increasing.

Your thoughts? And if you need more details about my situation ask me.

 

[Royal Elite]

First you are over over analyzing this, you did fine, there was nothing wrong with what you said. She was talking to someone, so she told you why this was weird for her.

Second you need to decide what you truly want. If you only want a decent woman in your life right now, then all the approaches are not helping you achieve this and your soul know this.

If you want a lot of women then you need to realize that, and continue pushing even if it is uncomfortable. Remember even though you were nerveous you still approached her, and now you have a real life memory to reflect on instead of pure theory like a lot of guys, so you still won.

No one said you have to approach a woman and never be nervous only that you shouldnt not approach a woman because you are nervous.

 

[Freeman]

Originally posted by JiGGhaMan
It's fcking weird. At first I approached with a good amount of confidence. Then as I approached more it kept getting fcking harder.

Maybe because I took a break from it before spring break? (I had too much school stuff todo.)

I've done 25 approaches so far, plus one just a few minutes ago. I don't care about the rejection, hell all I care about is that I did something to improve my life. I don't know why it seems a little harder than when I first started...

This is how my last approach went. (It was in the library.)

Me: Can I talk to you for a few minutes?
Her: Why?
Me: So I can get to know you.
Her: Well I'm kind of busy...
Me: You have a boyfriend?
Her: No.
Me: So maybe we can talk later....do you have an email address or phone number you can give me?
Her: Um.............................this is kind of wierd.................are you serious?
Me: Yeah
Her: .................
Me: Well if you're not okay with it then it's fine.
Her: No, I am somewhat talking to someone right now.
Me: OK. What's your name?
Her: (i forgot her name...lol)

(I shake hands with her.)

Her: What's yours?
Me: Jigghaman.
Her: Jigghaman?
Me: Yeah. Well it was nice talking to you.

(I walk off)

Her: Bye
Me: Bye

[This conversation demonstarates what Oxide posted about some guy pushing the girl to agree with her. I still did it they way I did it, because doing something is better than doing nothing. Also I had nothing to loose.]

Anyways, the fear kicks in when I standup from my seat and I look for some chicks to talk to. It goes away when I say my first word/sentence...like "Hi" or something. My performance was much better the first day. Has this happened to any of you? The intensity of the fear is suppose to decrease after approaching, but for me it seems to be increasing.

Your thoughts? And if you need more details about my situation ask me.

Well, Jigga, despite obviously having -15% experience with talking to girls, I do give you props for at least approaching the chick-which some say is the hardest thing to do. What I don't understand is what exactly was you intent when talking to this girls? Was it to scare her away? Come on Romeo--You have to use your imagination when talking to these girls. You words sounded like you were nervous-which is natural so don't feel bad about that. You have potential but you must NEVER! EVER! APPROACH A GIRL WITH THAT WEAK GAME EVER AGAIN! Promise yourself that!

 

[JiGGhaMan]

Originally posted by Royal Elite
If you want a lot of women then you need to realize that, and continue pushing even if it is uncomfortable.

It would be stupid of me to quit. I don't want to go back to that whinning wuss I used to be. Seriously, when I look back I feel like slapping that wuss.

Originally posted by Freeman
NEVER! EVER! APPROACH A GIRL WITH THAT WEAK GAME EVER AGAIN!

I don't think my game was weak. She said she was busy and I offered to talk later, but she refused so I wasn't going to waste my time with her. And if what you meant to say was use a situational opener instead of a straight up I-wanna-talk opener.....then my answer to that is: my goal right now is to get comfortable approaching and just fluff talking. Their IL to me right now isn't much of a concern, unless they just don't want to talk to me.

Hehehe. That reminds me...I had a chick like that yesterday. She talked all nice and stuff, but when I tried to close she was hesitant to give her number. So I said "you wanna just be friends" and she says "yeah". Then she just looks down and starts reading like the conversation was over. So I say bye and leave.

Thanks a lot though Royal Elite & Freeman.

 

[Royal Elite]

I glad to see that you now have a clear goal, and I think it will help you tremdously. Also use this in life, before you start going after something no matter what it is have a "clear" goal of what it is. Good luck, even though I don't think you will need luck, since you are progressing nicely.

 

[Freeman]

Originally posted by JiGGhaMan
It would be stupid of me to quit. I don't want to go back to that whinning wuss I used to be. Seriously, when I look back I feel like slapping that wuss.


I don't think my game was weak. She said she was busy and I offered to talk later, but she refused so I wasn't going to waste my time with her. And if what you meant to say was use a situational opener instead of a straight up I-wanna-talk opener.....then my answer to that is: my goal right now is to get comfortable approaching and just fluff talking. Their IL to me right now isn't much of a concern, unless they just don't want to talk to me.

Hehehe. That reminds me...I had a chick like that yesterday. She talked all nice and stuff, but when I tried to close she was hesitant to give her number. So I said "you wanna just be friends" and she says "yeah". Then she just looks down and starts reading like the conversation was over. So I say bye and leave.

Thanks a lot though Royal Elite & Freeman.

No Problem man. Just take it easy and have fun with these chicks!!