Am I too possessive?

[summersky]

Hi everyone,

so i met a new girl two months ago. We were talking a lot and had five dates, it was fun, the sex was great. She called and texted me a lot, it seemed that she had high interest.

She wanted to have a relationship with me, she thought we have one. I told her no, because I am not sure. There were some things that bothered me. One is, she still is in contact with the guy she dated before she met me. The other thing is she is still wearing a ring from her first boyfriend.

So i told her I thought about it and I cannot imagine a relationship under these circumstances but we can keep it casual and see how it goes. She got angry and told me she feels like I just used her and that I dont love her if i want to keep it casual. I told her I wont be in a relationship with a woman that is still wearing the ring of her ex... We discussed a little bit, she was still angry and broke things off.

So now im wondering if I did the right thing.. I was in contact with a girl I was dating too but would have no problem to cut her out of my life if we would have a relationship. I dont want to be with a girl that is still in contact with ex´s and guys she dated before. Am I too possessive?

 

[dustmuffin]

Hi everyone,

so i met a new girl two months ago. We were talking a lot and had five dates, it was fun, the sex was great. She called and texted me a lot, it seemed that she had high interest.

She wanted to have a relationship with me, she thought we have one. I told her no, because I am not sure. There were some things that bothered me. One is, she still is in contact with the guy she dated before she met me. The other thing is she is still wearing a ring from her first boyfriend.

So i told her I thought about it and I cannot imagine a relationship under these circumstances but we can keep it casual and see how it goes. She got angry and told me she feels like I just used her and that I dont love her if i want to keep it casual. I told her I wont be in a relationship with a woman that is still wearing the ring of her ex... We discussed a little bit, she was still angry and broke things off.

So now im wondering if I did the right thing.. I was in contact with a girl I was dating too but would have no problem to cut her out of my life if we would have a relationship. I dont want to be with a girl that is still in contact with ex´s and guys she dated before. Am I too possessive?

You set boundaries for the relationship. She wouldn't follow them. So you moved on. Case closed.

 

[grayclif]

I think your conditions are reasonable. You did the right thing.

 

[Die Hard]

What a bytch! She wants to have her cake and eat it at the same time... Then when you point out her unreasonable behavior, instead of admitting to it, she attacks YOU and says you've used her blablabla.

Downgrade her to a fvck buddy, she is not worth anymore than that, man. And give it to her in the @ss when you fvck her!

 

[ZTIME]

Yet another case of a girl believing her pvssy and time have some sort of binding value. She hangs out with you, has sex with you ( a guess on my part) and believes you 2 should be exclusive! But in this case she wants you to be exclusive while she keeps her options open.

Best yet, when you go to explain your needs in this forth coming relationship, she sees no problems with her behavior and shames you into believing that you used her for that "ooohhh so heavenly pvssy".

Yet you wonder if you're to possessive??? The easy answer to this "low self esteem" question is no.

Never lose the value of you, trying to replace it wth vaginal pennies. The return on investment sucks.

 

[speed dawg]

Hi everyone,

so i met a new girl two months ago. We were talking a lot and had five dates, it was fun, the sex was great. She called and texted me a lot, it seemed that she had high interest.

She wanted to have a relationship with me, she thought we have one. I told her no, because I am not sure. There were some things that bothered me. One is, she still is in contact with the guy she dated before she met me. The other thing is she is still wearing a ring from her first boyfriend.

So i told her I thought about it and I cannot imagine a relationship under these circumstances but we can keep it casual and see how it goes. She got angry and told me she feels like I just used her and that I dont love her if i want to keep it casual. I told her I wont be in a relationship with a woman that is still wearing the ring of her ex... We discussed a little bit, she was still angry and broke things off.

So now im wondering if I did the right thing.. I was in contact with a girl I was dating too but would have no problem to cut her out of my life if we would have a relationship. I dont want to be with a girl that is still in contact with ex´s and guys she dated before. Am I too possessive?

You did fine, but my question is this........why are you talking about the relationship? You already knew that she wasn't relationship material, and you knew it wouldn't last. So why did you end the sex train before you had to do so?

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Not much else I can add here, but I'm curious, how old was this chick?

 

[BetterCallSaul]

You did fine, but my question is this........why are you talking about the relationship? You already knew that she wasn't relationship material, and you knew it wouldn't last. So why did you end the sex train before you had to do so?

She's the one who brought it up. I mean, he can avoid the topic for a while, but a woman like this typically will only delay for so long then put him to an ultimatum.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yet another case of a girl believing her pvssy and time have some sort of binding value. She hangs out with you, has sex with you ( a guess on my part) and believes you 2 should be exclusive! But in this case she wants you to be exclusive while she keeps her options open.

Best yet, when you go to explain your needs in this forth coming relationship, she sees no problems with her behavior and shames you into believing that you used her for that "ooohhh so heavenly pvssy".

Yet you wonder if you're to possessive??? The easy answer to this "low self esteem" question is no.

Never lose the value of you, trying to replace it wth vaginal pennies. The return on investment sucks.

This guy is right. When you understand women, you know better to be hooked on "pvssy". They all have ones, and there are other women who will have the same effect upon you. If you going to lock her down you have to look at her merit as a person. This one doesn't deserve an exclusive you.

 

[Malcontent]

You did good. No need for self doubt.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Red flags for her wanting a relationship after just one month. She's the psycho-possessive one. Downgrade her to a **** buddy or head for the hills.

 

[ohrein]

You did perfect, man. Set frame and weeded out a low quality woman. This is where I ****ed up in my last encounter so kudos to you. Just don't doubt your decision for some pvssy. Not worth it.

 

[Reykhel]

Hi everyone,

so i met a new girl two months ago. We were talking a lot and had five dates, it was fun, the sex was great. She called and texted me a lot, it seemed that she had high interest.

She wanted to have a relationship with me, she thought we have one. I told her no, because I am not sure. There were some things that bothered me. One is, she still is in contact with the guy she dated before she met me. The other thing is she is still wearing a ring from her first boyfriend.

So i told her I thought about it and I cannot imagine a relationship under these circumstances but we can keep it casual and see how it goes. She got angry and told me she feels like I just used her and that I dont love her if i want to keep it casual. I told her I wont be in a relationship with a woman that is still wearing the ring of her ex... We discussed a little bit, she was still angry and broke things off.

So now im wondering if I did the right thing.. I was in contact with a girl I was dating too but would have no problem to cut her out of my life if we would have a relationship. I dont want to be with a girl that is still in contact with ex´s and guys she dated before. Am I too possessive?

So after five dates she already thought she had a relationship. So many woman like that, who expect
and believe they have "an instant relationship" right from the get-go. So much self-entitlement at play
here....she wants you to give up your commitment and your time just like that..........just because she is
her and society and all her Facebook followers tell her she is special.......

Here's the only thing I would have changed about your interaction with her....

Remember women generally communicate covertly and men overtly. Sometimes it's best to communicate
on a covert level.

You overtly told her that you weren't sure about a relationship and you overtly (and in a logical manner) explained to her that you couldn't imagine a relationship under these conditions but you can keep it casual and see how it goes........

.......so you basically logically rejected her advances of a relationship and told her you could keep at as fvck buddies and play it by ear. And then she logically told you......NO.

She asks you at five dates about a relationship........ask her back....."how many times have we seen each other?" when she tells you......you tell her "well ask me again when we've seen each other ten times...." wink change subject. Covertly telling her it's too soon.....

Then when she asks you again..........you negotiate the things that are your boundaries........"are you still talking to your ex?" if she says "yes".............you say "let's leave things the way they are"
if she asks "do you have a problem with that???" throw it back at her "should I have a problem with that?"

You're covertly telling her..............

 

[KingBeef]

So after five dates she already thought she had a relationship. So many woman like that, who expect
and believe they have "an instant relationship" right from the get-go. So much self-entitlement at play
here....she wants you to give up your commitment and your time just like that..........just because she is
her and society and all her Facebook followers tell her she is special.......

Here's the only thing I would have changed about your interaction with her....

Remember women generally communicate covertly and men overtly. Sometimes it's best to communicate
on a covert level.

You overtly told her that you weren't sure about a relationship and you overtly (and in a logical manner) explained to her that you couldn't imagine a relationship under these conditions but you can keep it casual and see how it goes........

.......so you basically logically rejected her advances of a relationship and told her you could keep at as fvck buddies and play it by ear. And then she logically told you......NO.

She asks you at five dates about a relationship........ask her back....."how many times have we seen each other?" when she tells you......you tell her "well ask me again when we've seen each other ten times...." wink change subject. Covertly telling her it's too soon.....

Then when she asks you again..........you negotiate the things that are your boundaries........"are you still talking to your ex?" if she says "yes".............you say "let's leave things the way they are"
if she asks "do you have a problem with that???" throw it back at her "should I have a problem with that?"

You're covertly telling her..............

This is solid advice. Maybe it's just the neanderthal in me but if one of my PLATES was assuming we were in a relationship under her "rules" I would just laugh or change the subject and ignore her requests (remember she's just a plate and should be nothing more) or just get rid of her. Don't let her become a nuisance to you.

 

[KingBeef]

Hi everyone,

so i met a new girl two months ago. We were talking a lot and had five dates, it was fun, the sex was great. She called and texted me a lot, it seemed that she had high interest.

She wanted to have a relationship with me, she thought we have one. I told her no, because I am not sure. There were some things that bothered me. One is, she still is in contact with the guy she dated before she met me. The other thing is she is still wearing a ring from her first boyfriend.

So i told her I thought about it and I cannot imagine a relationship under these circumstances but we can keep it casual and see how it goes. She got angry and told me she feels like I just used her and that I don't love her if i want to keep it casual. I told her I wont be in a relationship with a woman that is still wearing the ring of her ex... We discussed a little bit, she was still angry and broke things off.

So now im wondering if I did the right thing.. I was in contact with a girl I was dating too but would have no problem to cut her out of my life if we would have a relationship. I dont want to be with a girl that is still in contact with ex´s and guys she dated before. Am I too possessive?

You've done good and saw all the "flaws and traps" of her illogical mind/world.

The only minor concern I see is that you have some self doubt about yourself. I would work on that to make it stronger so you don't have to second guess. A man's common sense, gut and logic is there for his benefit and protection. Strengthen them...

 

[summersky]

Thanks guys for your opinions! After I backed off she decided to "suddenly" respect my rules, said that she wants to be with me no matter how.. Guess it is not worth anything. I mean why teach a woman like a dog, if there are women that got the same opinion about things as me.. Who knows if she is just pretending to change her behaviour just to be with me. Just an act...

To answer a few questions, she is very young, under the age of 20. I brought up the relationship talk, because she said out of the blue that we are in a relationship.

Thanks for your opinions!