Am I too much of a challenge (the benfeits of oneitis)?

[NaturallySelected]

Hi guys

Two girls, the attention wh_re (AW) and a HB7. AW has used me and has a boyfriend, etc. HB7 is attractive, pretty cool, and single.

I have been trying to shake one-itis that I have for this AW for a while now. I am doing pretty well so far. Anyway, I've known the HB7 for a year. Except we never really see each other. I dated her for a while last year but I kept screwing her around (unintentionally) because of my oneitis for the attention wh_re. I cancelled a date, didn't see her for weeks because I was whipped by the AW. So the last time I saw this HB7 was the end of last year.

I went on a date with this HB7 again about a month and a half ago to "catch up". The date went pretty well, followed up a week later and had another date. Got some kino in, flirted a little. She invited me in but I declined. This HB7's interest was fairly high (about 65-70%).

I have had trouble trying to get over my oneitis for the AW so I have NO problem being a challenge to the HB7. I was so obsessed with the AW that I wouldn't even think about the HB7 or asking her out. I never text the HB7 or call her, never suggested other dates, used C&F. I was the perfect DJ . Sometimes oneitis helps . So I called up a week after our second date to chat to her, pretty good convo. Lasted about 15 min (that was about a week ago). I decided to not arrange a date.

Fast-foward to this week. I figured the HB7 had lost interest because I was too much of a challenge and I never heard from her. But I called her up on wednesday and asked her out for Friday night, she said she couldn't because she had to go with a friend (female) to this thing at church.

Being the DJ I am I knew not to ask about Saturday night, so I said "Oh well, maybe next time" and kept the convo short. She said she'd let me know if anyhting is cancelled (wahaha, whateva ). So I tell myself she's lost interest.

Saturday night about 18:00 I get a text message from her, one of those out-of-the-box ones. It mentions "firendship" but also how much she "loves" having me in her life. I am not sure if I am being LBJF'd or if she was hoping to hear from me on Saturday. I will figure that one out on my own.

My question is this, is it possible to be too much of a challenge? I know nothing is set in stone, but how many days do you guys leave between dates and/or calling at MOST?

Thanks!
NaturallySelected

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

General rule after getting the woman's intial phone number is 2 to 3 days. Wait any longer and she'll think you're lame for making her wait. Many DJs here will tell you that the longer you wait is better so she has a chance to think about you. Go ahead and don't call her back in 7 days, because while you're not calling her, on the 4th day she's forgotten all about you because she's out on a date with me.

I think a 2 to 3 day rule applies after a date too. Wait too long and she'll may have already nexted you. In the next call, all it has to be is a simple "I had a great time, blah blah blah" works great and opens up the opportunity for another date. I usually set dates only for the weekend because of my work schedule. But 5-6 days between dates is fine.

And about being overly a challenge...it depends. Sometimes thinking that you are "The Man" is self defeating.

I'll explain. So...you're the best greatist DJ to ever grace this planet. You have women left and right. All you ever date are HB9.5 and above. No HB8's for you. So you walk into a nightclub. A HB6 give you buying signals, you ignore them because she isn't a 9.5 or above. So another HB8 gives buying signals, but heck, she's only an 8..she's kinda cute but not worthy of you. This this happens ALL night long. No 9.5's tonight, none of the women are worthy of you. So you go home not talking to one woman that night because they aren't worthy. Ok...maybe next weekend...then next weekend..then next weekend...until you are at a point that you don't even pay attention to HB8.5's anymore. You dont even acknowledge them. You start thinking you're better than them all. Sooooo..along comes an HB10..georgeous!! All you do is have one-itis for her...you kiss her a**, pedistal her, and hell..it's been soo long since you've DJ'd any woman, that you've got DJ ring rust. You become tongue tied, don't know how to think, and ultimately revert to your old AFC ways.

See my point?

It looks like your HB7 is good practice grounds for the AW chick you REALLY want to get with. So keep working on the HB7. Maybe AW chick will start questioning her own attractiveness and may work for you in the future.

 

[chicksrock]

Women are weak.
If you act overly challenging..
they just give up and sulk by themselves.....

 

[NaturallySelected]

Originally posted by -HPNOTIQ-

See my point?

It looks like your HB7 is good practice grounds for the AW chick you REALLY want to get with. So keep working on the HB7. Maybe AW chick will start questioning her own attractiveness and may work for you in the future.

I do see your point, I think the 2 or 3 day rule is good. I think a week is a good thing if you sense she was low interest. I did use the HB7 to my advantage last year and got some action from the AW. But it still screwed me over . If I ever get over my oneitis the AW would make a good fvck-buddy.