Am I too late? Am I in the LJBF territory?

[foomee]

So I'm really interested in this girl, but she has a boyfriend. I feel I've stepped too far over the line into the ljbf area, but I am still hoping to get out of it. So yes, maybe she's not the quality kind of girl that I'd want as a girlfriend, but at the moment I don't give a damn and I just want to have some fun with her.

So here's the details: She has a boyfriend. She often lies to him about hanging out with me and what not. Her and I are at the same school, he's about an hour away at another school, but she still sees him like every two weeks or so. Twice he's called and I've said something and he'd learn that I'm with her and he'd get angry and jealous. A few other times he's called her and she says be quiet it's my boyfriend, and I didn't say anything. Things with them aren't too strong, but I know she still has feelings for him. They've been dating for almost two years now, so it's probably tougher to get out of the relationship. He's cheated on her twice and she says if he ever does it again it's over. As you can read, yeah she's not good quality as a girlfriend, but at the moment it doesn't bother me.

As for her and I, I'm not her emotional tampon, per-say, well she doesn't complain to me about any problems with her friends or anything like that. But she loves hanging out with me, talking with me, she always cooks me lunch and dinner and goes places with me like to movies, dinner, and what not. She's even worried that if I get a girlfriend I'll stop talking to her. There is constant heavy flirting, tons of touching, tickling, all of the above, even occasional hand holding (somewhat), but I still haven't kissed her. I'm afraid I'm not being sexual enough, even though I often slap her ass. The thing is, it is constant constant flirting and that's what's bothering me, I feel she's interested but maybe she's just an AW.

She knows I like her, as for her liking me, I'm not certain but that's where you guys come in handy. I'm constantly a jerk, she's always complaining saying I'm so nice to other girls, but not her. If I go out with a girl she always asks about it an says 'with who?' I can sense she's jealous when I talk about others or if they call me when I'm with her.
But you know I just haven't found the right time to kiss her, there was last Friday one time, but I hesitated. For the past month we've been hanging out constantly almost every day, but recently I've decided to back off and give her the gift of missing me. I didn't see her all weekend, until now on Tuesday where she came over and cooked me dinner for about an hour and a half.
Tomorrow we have plans to go downtown and buy something for my computer. What do you guys suggest? You know I kind of don't want to just give up, yeah I've got oneitis for this chick who I've never even kissed, that has a boyfriend, but I just want to try. I'd rather try and fail than just give up and wonder if it could have been possible.

Sooo what should I do? Just grow some balls and go in for a kiss? Ask her if she likes me? (fcuk that, I've never asked a girl that). Or just give up? Give her space? Be more sexual?

PS sorry for the long post, my guess is half of you saw it then thought f that its too long and hit "back". Those of you that took the two minutes to read it, thanks.

 

[Audiophile]

It seems like you've been seeing her way too much. You said that "we've been hanging out constantly almost every day". Unless this girl is in a relationship with you, that's way too much time spent on one girl. Anyways, it seems you already know the answer, man the fvck up and obey your d!ck. Just go for a kiss. You shouldn't be so concentrated on one girl anyways.

 

[Igetit!]

So I'm really interested in this girl, but she has a boyfriend. I feel I've stepped too far over the line into the ljbf area, but I am still hoping to get out of it.

I don't really know if you're in the friendzone or not with this chick,but if you are,then forget it. You're not going to "step out" of it. If you didn't have the knowledge or awareness to avoid getting into it in the first place (which is EASY to do),then it's doubtful that you have the skill to get out of it as well.

So here's the details: She has a boyfriend. She often lies to him about hanging out with me and what not.

So she has a boyfriend,AND she constantly lies to him. Disloyal and dishonest.
Yeah,you picked a real winner here my friend.

Her and I are at the same school, he's about an hour away at another school, but she still sees him like every two weeks or so. Twice he's called and I've said something and he'd learn that I'm with her and he'd get angry and jealous. A few other times he's called her and she says be quiet it's my boyfriend, and I didn't say anything. Things with them aren't too strong, but I know she still has feelings for him. They've been dating for almost two years now, so it's probably tougher to get out of the relationship.

Let's just get straight to the point....

You're what's known as a "surrogate boyfriend". Her REAL BOYFRIEND is an hour away,too far to do all of the things she does with you everyday.


Everything she's doing with you is what she'd like to do with her boyfriend but can't because of the distance. So all of the companionship type things,she does with you,while keeping all the sexual stuff for her boyfriend.


That way she can have her cake and eat it too,and "technically" not be cheating.

As for her and I, I'm not her emotional tampon, per-say, well she doesn't complain to me about any problems with her friends or anything like that. But she loves hanging out with me, talking with me, she always cooks me lunch and dinner and goes places with me like to movies, dinner, and what not. She's even worried that if I get a girlfriend I'll stop talking to her.

I beg to differ on that "I'm not her emotional tampon" thing. She doesn't have to complain about her issues and problems for you to be her emotional tampon,just the fact that you repeatedly keep hanging around her while SHE KNOWS that you like her is enough.


You think that EMOTIONALLY she isn't getting anything out of your constant attention?

There is constant heavy flirting, tons of touching, tickling, all of the above, even occasional hand holding (somewhat),

She's not doing these things because SHE LIKES YOU,she's doing them because YOU'RE THERE. Her boyfriend is miles away. If he were there,she's be doing these things with him.

You're just a place holder,a backup until her man comes to town.

The thing is, it is constant constant flirting and that's what's bothering me, I feel she's interested but maybe she's just an AW.

She probably constantly flirts because she knows nothing is ever going to happen between you two. It's safe flirting becuase it's not going to lead to anything.

She knows I like her,

How does she know you like her? Who told her that? (Please say it wasn't you)

For the past month we've been hanging out constantly almost every day, but recently I've decided to back off and give her the gift of missing me.

The gift of missing you? What for? What's that supposed to do? You do know what "missing" someone and being "attracted" to them are two different things,don't you?

Tomorrow we have plans to go downtown and buy something for my computer. What do you guys suggest? You know I kind of don't want to just give up, yeah I've got oneitis for this chick who I've never even kissed, that has a boyfriend, but I just want to try. I'd rather try and fail than just give up and wonder if it could have been possible.

Sooo what should I do?

This is actually a tough call. From everything you've said,my guess is that you're friendzoned. If that's the case,I think you should just forget trying to date/or sleep with her period. If you don't,and you try to push something,all heck is going to break loose,because she'll suddenly become uncomfortable around you,then it'll be bye bye flirting,bye bye teasing,and bye to her cooking for you,etc.




I say to just date someone else. And yes,she may become jealous or envious,but IT'S NOT because she likes you,it's because the attention that she's used to getting from you will now be going to another woman.





You're in a tough spot. If you try to get sexual,she'll probably get uncomfortable. If you do nothing,she could keep this situation going on like this probably until one or both of you graduate,lol. I just can't see you going for it and it actually working out because of all the FZ behavior between you two,but hey,you never know.

 

[runner83]

Didn't even read the post, since regardless the answer to your question is here:

Are you banging her? If yes, then you're not in the friend zone. If no, then you're in the friend zone. Quite simple really.