Am I too intimidating?

[AmIAFC]

I've noticed that, during some dates, females apologize for a lot of things they do. They apologize for telling a bad joke, for wanting to go to the bathroom, for asking harmless questions, etc.

I get annoyed. WTF are they apologizing for? They look at me when they're saying it, to see if I forgive them or whatever, and I keep telling them that it's okay. I'm wondering if I'm just too intimidating or they're nervous around me (I suppose it's a good thing).

Should I smile more or act equally goofy to let them know that they don't have to say sorry all the f'ing time? I don't know...

 

[diplomatic_lies]

A lot of women do the same to me. Its just their way I guess.

I know when I'm in a more formal situation, when I need to interrupt the conversation to pee, I sometimes say "Sorry, need to go to the bathroom" (as opposed to "hey man, need to go to the dunny, see ya").

 

[Soprano]

Does this usually happen before they get to know you, or after the first date or two?

I worry about that sometimes too because people are usually intimiated by me before they get to know me. I know I'm physically intimidating which is both a curse and a gift depending on the situation.

I usually try to smile more than most do in an attemtp to let people know I'm not the big mean guy they probably think I am by looking at me.

After the first "date" though a girl would/should know the deal, and that I'm not a mean dude.

 

[PRMoon]

Don't do anything. Something like this really shouldn't bother you too much. Usually when I'm on dates I'll just listen to what they're saying and if they goof or what not and apologize I'll just let it slide. If it happens every few seconds or so and the girls like hyperventalating then maybe i'd tell them to calm down but I'm not like a movie star or something so that doesn't happen too often. Other then that just ride it out and make some attemps to make them feel comfortable with you...it's good when girls are comfortable no matter how "intimidating" you are.

 

[Bloke]

In my experience, girls get apologetic around me when they are attracted/attached to me

This is most likely your case as well

 

[xblitz44x]

Maybe they aren't comfortable. That's not really a good thing because when people aren't comfortable, they feel vulnerable so they disguise their intentions. It's hard enough to read a woman who is open and honest with her communication, but when she is closed off because she is feeling uncomfortable, it's damn near impossible.

Try to examine your posture, body language, and tone. See if you can soften any of that up. When she speaks, look her in the eye and encourage her. Reward her verbally for putting herself out there and volunteering information. Volunteer information about yourself so that she gets to know you.

 

[DJnoob]

Originally posted by AmIAFC
I've noticed that, during some dates, females apologize for a lot of things they do. They apologize for telling a bad joke, for wanting to go to the bathroom, for asking harmless questions, etc.

I get annoyed. WTF are they apologizing for? They look at me when they're saying it, to see if I forgive them or whatever, and I keep telling them that it's okay. I'm wondering if I'm just too intimidating or they're nervous around me (I suppose it's a good thing).

Should I smile more or act equally goofy to let them know that they don't have to say sorry all the f'ing time? I don't know...

THIS IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE!! THIS IS GOLD. If theres any nice guys here, this is how women think about you.

Nice = Creepy

 

[Vibe]

Hey, man. This is fine. It just means they are really attracted to you and are scared of messing something up. They are just qualifying themselves to you. They are insecure and want, more than anything, for you to like them so they apologize for everything. Either date more confident girls or let them do their fAFC (female AFC) thing.

~Vibe~

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

It happened to me last night

This girl I met last night kept apologizing too. What did I do? I didn't even acknowledge that she said it, because there was no reason for her to apologize, and that deemed any response unnecessary.

I ignored it, and it turned out to be the right thing to do.

So, if girls are apologizing to you for absolutely nothing, just ignore that they are apologizing and continue with the convo/date/whatever.

Good luck

 

[GuitarOnFire]

Thanks everyone for this info.

Even old DJ's (farts) have room to learn.

 

[solo1]

i remember once i was out with this girl, every so often she'd bring up her insecurities about her height. At a restaurant i'd be sleepy and asked if was bored by her blabbering, nope i was just sleepy.

Then later she apologized about her complaining. In the past i used to say "thats alright." But now i've just learned to let it be.
If they apologize then they ahve a good reason to. Dont say "thats ok, or its alright." to people that apologize, it allows them to think they can push you around.

Altho i smile most of the day, im intimidating most of the time thanks to my body language, which can be good and bad.

 

[egamirorrimeht]

Liar.
You probably drive the biggest car you can find, too. If you honestly think you're too intimidating, why don't you whip out your penis. That'll remedy the situation.

 

[GuitarOnFire]

If she's complaining, use one of my tricks:

"Oh jeez, another negative person. Let's switch topics, shall we?"

I used a similar thing (different words) /twice/ today when one of my newest friends tried to complain on two separate occasions.