Am I taking it too far??

[Checkmate12]

Some of you may be familiar with my current situation, as Ive posted about it a couple other times this week. For those who aren't, Ill provide some brief background.

Brief Background
Ive gone on two dates with this hb9 and they have both farrrr exceeded my expectations. By the end of the second date she was already talking about wanting to become exclusive. This girl is not a serial monogamist by any means either. She hasnt been in a relationship in almost 3 years simply because she hasnt met anyone who intrigues her in the long term, as she puts it. Long story short; you guys have given some killer advice and Ive been able to execute thus far.

Where I am now
She is in London for a 10 day dance trip that started on friday. (Shes an exceptionally talented dance major at the college we attend) And I received a fb message from her yesterday (saturday) around 3pm after she arrived. In the message she went on to give me details of the trip thus far and even went on to tell me that she already misses me. Well I had a wedding to attend last night so chose to put off my reply until today. I woke up to another message from her with more details on the trip and it was also full of apologies about bothering me again. I can sense her nervousness and its kind of cute coming from such a quality girl.

Well I finally replied and avoided telling her that I missed her as well, but did mention that I was pleased that she missed me. I kept my message sort of brief in comparison to hers but made sure to convey my interest in her stories about the trip. A little while after I reply I post a picture of me with my arm around my very attractive female cousin that was taken at the wedding. Hb9 doesnt know thats my cousin nor does she know I went to a wedding last night (trying to maintain the mystery).

My Question
Does it appear that Im taking my challenge a little too far (i.e. not returning the "i miss you's", my very delayed response times, and the pic w/ this attractive *mystery chick*)? In logic I feel as if Im doing everything exactly as I should, but the fact that she read my message the moment I sent it this morning but never replied has me second guessing myself. Is this just my inner AFC whispering in my ear?? Idk that I really asked any questions in my reply to her so perhaps that was my mistake?
Im not really worried about the situation but you dont stop playing just because you're ahead on the scoreboard.

 

[JohnChops]

You're blowing this out of proportion, you're looking to far into it. Since this girl seems very interested in you (a good thing) you can do anything (of course don't go to far) and she still will be there. HEres what I would do:

1) Keep your frame, don't go all googly eyes and get desperate for her once you think you have her, then you lose frame and she leaves you.
2) make her know that she can be replaced easily, convey it in a subtle way.
3. STay a challenge, but don't be impossible. If you're impossible then she will start to fade away from you because she thinks she will never end up with you. Keep a good balance.
4) Have fun, its a learning experience. Who cares if you took a picture with your cousin, do you think that'll make her jealous? If she asks about it say its your cousin. No big deal man.
5) wanted to add this. Don't put her on a pedestal. You said shes an HB9, which means shes good looking. Don't fall for a girl just because of looks and don't give her special treatment because of her "Genetic gifts".

Also about your delayed messaging thing, sometimes its good and bad. I say just do whatever you want. If you're near your computer and she messages you then reply. If you're not near your computer then who cares. Some days reply instantly and some days take your time. Being unpredictable is also another great trait.

Let it flow brotha!

 

[Checkmate12]

Appreciate your timely response John!

I think right on with each of the points you made. It's just always helpful to collect the opinions of others on the same DJ journey!

And just for the record, I posted the pic with my cousin partially looking to make her jealous or just at least to get her to ask about it, in which case I would have told her who it was. Im not sure if this is immaturity on my part or an effective technique. Whatever works I guess.

It's very interesting to me how we go through this intricate, over-analyzed, mating dance with all these rules and strategies just to attract a woman and the further we are able to suck her in the more genuine we allow ourselves to become (or maybe Im just speaking for myself).

 

[Checkmate12]

2) make her know that she can be replaced easily, convey it in a subtle way.

Also, can you elaborate on this a little John? What exactly does this look like in a practical sense?

 

[JohnChops]

Also, can you elaborate on this a little John? What exactly does this look like in a practical sense?

This means that you want her to see that you are a wanted guy. Being nice to people so they're nice to you and most importantly her seeing you with other girls (flirting, hugging etc) works because this conveys that you are WANTED and you could easily replace her if you felt the need too. This goes hand in hand with not being needy.

 

[Checkmate12]

This means that you want her to see that you are a wanted guy. Being nice to people so they're nice to you and most importantly her seeing you with other girls (flirting, hugging etc) works because this conveys that you are WANTED and you could easily replace her if you felt the need too. This goes hand in hand with not being needy.

Ahh I see. A little bit of charm thrown in there. When she sees other people value you, then by default your value in her eyes increases as well. Good call John.

 

[cordoncordon]

Just me, but if I was really into a girl, and we had gone out twice and then I had to go on a trip, and during this trip we were conversing on a level that looked like the possible start to a relationship....and then I saw her at a wedding with her arms around some other guy? My interest level would not increase. It would sure as hell decrease and I think that goes for most people. There is playing it coy and smooth, and then there is just rubbing it in people's faces. I think you are ok here though IF you make some comment on FB about it being your cousin. That actually would work out really well because she will probably say to herself "why did I doubt him? I got all upset and its just his cousin". Which will give you more points in her eyes. But don't wait to post that cousin comment....imo.

 

[Checkmate12]

Just me, but if I was really into a girl, and we had gone out twice and then I had to go on a trip, and during this trip we were conversing on a level that looked like the possible start to a relationship....and then I saw her at a wedding with her arms around some other guy? My interest level would not increase. It would sure as hell decrease and I think that goes for most people. There is playing it coy and smooth, and then there is just rubbing it in people's faces. I think you are ok here though IF you make some comment on FB about it being your cousin. That actually would work out really well because she will probably say to herself "why did I doubt him? I got all upset and its just his cousin". Which will give you more points in her eyes. But don't wait to post that cousin comment....imo.

Duly noted Cordon. I didn't really put myself in her shoes and think about how Id react in the same situation. I changed the caption to say 'cousin'. Good lookin out.

 

[cordoncordon]

You did the right thing. Actually I wouldn't have changed the caption, because that makes it look like you purposely didn't put cousin on there in the first place just to play a little game. I would leave the caption as is and just make another comment below the pic. Something like "always great seeing my cousin xxx, miss hanging out with you" or something like that. Not only does that seem like a perfectly normal thing to say, but it would put the pic back up near the top of her page with the comment. Changing the caption I don't believe will do that and she may never see or notice the change.

All in all, it's not that big of a deal. But if I really thought a lot of a girl like you seem to here, better safe than sorry.

 

[cordoncordon]

Update OP?