Am I stuck as a friend..... How do I build up the nerves to do or say something?

[dissendent]

Bare with me. Here's some history for you. I hired this woman 3 years ago to work for me on a project. She was an awesome employee and I mean that professionally. Well, since I moved to another project about 2 years ago, I brought her with me to work on the same project. Then about a year ago, I left that project to work on another project and we decided to be good friends outside of work. We hung out about 2-3 times a month. Just recently, I was promoted to a permanent position in a separate department than her. No more project management.
So now that we're about 50 yards from another, we often visit with each other and have lunch almost every day together. She decided to start telling me about her love life. Like the people she dates, likes and dislikes about them etc. I give her advice and she continues to come to me for that. Well, Im starting to get attracted to her and we are now going out to dinners 2-3 times a week including having lunch almost everyday. We have conversations on the phone every other day from 8PM to 3AM. This girl can talk!!! But I like that!
I dont have the nerve to do or say anything just because she looks up to me as a mentor and a really really good friend. I want more, but I have no idea if she does.

Any ideas on how to let her know how I feel? I also think Valentines Day would be a good time to tell her. What do you think?

 

[Damian]

OH, MY, GOD. This is a nightmare as a pickup. Stop wasting so much god-forsaken time on this woman! Live your own life. Go to the gym or something. From your situation, I can gather that this woman is exploiting you because you're available and easy to manipulate, like sweatshops and illegal immigrants. You have a few options:

1. Become unavailable. Live your own life, and get busy. If the girl has any interest in you whatsoever, she will come to you. Stop sacrificing your own time to accomodate her and for chrissake, stop with the all-nighter phone calls and make some rules. This woman is just steamrolling you.

2. Make your move, NOW. Don't do something stupid like Valentine's Day to finally show your interest. Do it NOW. Take her out to dinner and do some kino escalation. Have her stop by your house first and you can do some of the house routines that so many others have posted here.

3. Read the DJ bible and educate yourself first, then decide.

4. Continue being an AFC, and never get the chance to get out of the LJBF zone.

It's really that simple. Stop letting this girl run your life, and get a life of your own. Otherwise, good luck and godspeed

-Damian

 

[GuitarPlayer]

Originally posted by dissendent
....we often visit with each other and have lunch almost every day together. She decided to start telling me about her love life. Like the people she dates, likes and dislikes about them etc. I give her advice and she continues to come to me for that. Well, Im starting to get attracted to her and we are now going out to dinners 2-3 times a week including having lunch almost everyday.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you're officially and permanently in what we call the "Friends Zone." Few have ever escaped this.

All of the symptoms are there:

She unloads on you about her love life.

You give her advice.

Would it be safe to say that you pay for the lunches? This isn't critical, but it might be a telling factor.

Honestly, I suspect that if you make a move, what you'll get is "You're a great friend, but I don't think of you in that way."

 

[GuitarPlayer]

By the way, take it from me and others who have been down this path:

GET OVER THESE "FEELINGS" RIGHT NOW!!!!! You'll be glad you did.

*If* she were to reciprocate in a positive way (which I seriously doubt), you can allow yourself to have these "feelings" later after you have her secured.

 

[shiningshadow]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16631

It works. Believe me.

 

[Docs]

1. Become unavailable. Live your own life, and get busy. If the girl has any interest in you whatsoever, she will come to you. Stop sacrificing your own time to accomodate her and for chrissake, stop with the all-nighter phone calls and make some rules. This woman is just steamrolling you.

2. Make your move, NOW. Don't do something stupid like Valentine's Day to finally show your interest. Do it NOW. Take her out to dinner and do some kino escalation. Have her stop by your house first and you can do some of the house routines that so many others have posted here.

 

[Warlord]

I conclude, you are indeed in the friends zone. perhaps you have 50% chance of recovery from this by completely withdrawing and then show up again being more of a man than a friend.

But stop talking to her, seriously! I dunno if the damage has been done, but get out while you can!

 

[tmpgstx]

She's *too* comfortable around you = friends zone. She doesn't view you in the romantic light. There would have to be at least some natural attraction if there would be any chance at all in dating her.

 

[JackPrescott]

Originally posted by dissendent
Bare with me. Here's some history for you. I hired this woman 3 years ago to work for me on a project. She was an awesome employee and I mean that professionally. Well, since I moved to another project about 2 years ago, I brought her with me to work on the same project. Then about a year ago, I left that project to work on another project and we decided to be good friends outside of work. We hung out about 2-3 times a month. Just recently, I was promoted to a permanent position in a separate department than her. No more project management.
So now that we're about 50 yards from another, we often visit with each other and have lunch almost every day together. She decided to start telling me about her love life. Like the people she dates, likes and dislikes about them etc. I give her advice and she continues to come to me for that. Well, Im starting to get attracted to her and we are now going out to dinners 2-3 times a week including having lunch almost everyday. We have conversations on the phone every other day from 8PM to 3AM. This girl can talk!!! But I like that!
I dont have the nerve to do or say anything just because she looks up to me as a mentor and a really really good friend. I want more, but I have no idea if she does.

Any ideas on how to let her know how I feel? I also think Valentines Day would be a good time to tell her. What do you think?

Congratulations on entering the dreaded "friendship zone" now as other men are fukking her naked, sweaty body late at night, and purposely missing her vagina to slide it into her anus, and as she purposely tries not to notice, when she comes three times as hard, and the guy leaves before dawn, she will call you from work to tell you what an a$$hole he was....and how she hopes he calls back.

 

[tmpgstx]

:crackup:

And you want to profess your feelings for her on V-day? She is dating more than one person right now? Yeah, i'll bet she's Little Red Riding Hood.

 

[Ace of Flames]

is it dark down in that hole u dug for yourself?

no worries, we'll throw u a rope. but on one condition. u gotta read this thing we like to call, the DJ bible. its a good read, really. quite a page-turner. u know how people always talk about a book that changed their life? this is the book they were talking about.

get over this girl, and good luck in the future! :woo:

 

[dissendent]

This site frickin rocks!!!! Heres an update!!!

I did it. After reading much of the material on this site, I just went ahead and did it.

Today she continued to email me asking me what I was doing for lunch.... I DIDNT RESPOND..

Then I return from a meeting and my admin assistant tells me that she was just by looking for me... around lunch time...

Then after work, I was walking out to my truck then I heard her yell from accross the parking lot.

I went over and spoke to her and she asked why was I ignoring her. I told her I was busy and that I had to go. Then she ask what I was doing for dinner and I told her I had plans..... she then asked if I can call her when I was done. I told her "Sure, Ill call you when I get home, but I dont know what time that will be..."

Then she said something that blew me away......

"I cant believe Im getting upset at the fact that youre busy doing something without me..."

Then I said: "What do you mean.....we're just friends......right?"

Then she says: "Well......Ive grown quite attached to you..... Ohh my god, I can't believe Im telling you this....."

Then I just went in for the kiss..........

BAM!!! It happend.....IT WORKED!!!
:cheer:

edited. Was too excited when I typed this. Its corrected now.

 

[sp1024]

Damn.

That's surprising, considering how bad that post made it sound.

 

[Hound_of_Love]

Originally posted by sp1024
Damn.

That's surprising, considering how bad that post made it sound.

That's because people forget the variables. Everything on this site is a guideline and none of them work every time.

This girl obviously liked our man from the start.

 

[Aerospace]

Wonderful story, my friend!

You won the battle. Now go on, and win the great war for us all! ^_^

 

[JackPrescott]

Originally posted by dissendent
This site frickin rocks!!!! Heres an update!!!

I did it. After reading much of the material on this site, I just went ahead and did it.

Today she continued to email me asking me what I was doing for lunch.... I DIDNT RESPOND..

Then I return from a meeting and my admin assistant tells me that she was just by looking for me... around lunch time...

Then after work, I was walking out to my truck then I heard her yell from accross the parking lot.

I went over and spoke to her and she asked why was I ignoring her. I told her I was busy and that I had to go. Then when I got home, she calls my cell asking what I was doing for dinner and I told her I had plans..... she then asked if I can call her when I was done. I told her "Sure, Ill call you when I get home, but I dont know what time that will be..."

Then she said something that blew me away......

"I cant believe Im getting upset at the fact that youre busy doing something without me..."

Then I said: "What do you mean.....we're just friends......right?"

Then she says: "Well......Ive grown quite attached to you..... Ohh my god, I can't believe Im telling you this....."

Then I just went in for the kiss..........

BAM!!! It happend.....IT WORKED!!!
:cheer:

Wonderful! What a great feel good story. Escaping the dreaded "friendship zone" is not easy, but sometimes it does work. Now is the time to be sexually aggressive, unless she is a celibate virgin, saving it for her Wedding Night, you two know/trust each other and are attracted to each other. There is no reason to wait. Plan a ROMANTIC dinner for two at a decent restaurant, get lots of wine in her, take her to a spot where you two can slow dance if possible, and KINO the hell out of her. Kiss her, do a body shot on her, let her know how bad you need to be inside her (without telling her), and then get her to your place or hers, put on some 70's Soul, like "Between the Sheets" more wine, and finally, a full out mack session, followed by clothing removal, oral sex, vaginal sex, and post coital cigarette, try and do it two more times before the sun comes up, then wake up naked together and start discussing your second date over coffee.

If she doesnt want to fukk, make sure she knows you will be pursuing other women who do.

 

[JackPrescott]

Originally posted by Hound_of_Love
That's because people forget the variables. Everything on this site is a guideline and none of them work every time.

This girl obviously liked our man from the start.

This is very true, although how many of us are repulsed/nauseated at "friendship zone" crap? I know of a female friend of mine who actually wanted me to sleep in the bed (her place) with her, but "stay on your side, and dont try any $hit" I told her, that the only way I slept with a woman is if we were both naked. She seemed disgusted/confused at that, and while she didnt want me to leave, she wasnt going to give me any pu$$y either. So we both left. (It was a long story, but she "didnt want to be alone...she went to her parents house)....She also loves the "friendship zone" Needless to say, we see each other only very occasionally. She is good people, but not worth a lot of my time, when I can spend it chasing those (women) who are actually interested in THAT way.

Another woman I know is a MASSIVE Attention Wh0re, and she really isnt a friend, but rather an acquaintence. She LOVVVES males/male attention, and is mystified as to why I am rather cold with her, dont buy her drinks, and wont light her cigarettes. She has had a couple of chances to surrender her panties to me, but she refused, and then had the audacity to say she "wants to be one of the guys" so she is treated as such, no bull$hit hugs and kisses, no flirting nonsense, she buys her own drinks, and lights her own cigarettes. She seems pissed off and bitter that she has to do all that. What she REALLY wants is for me, and 10 guys like me to be surrounding her all night (say at a bar) ignoring all other women, buying her drinks, and fighting amongst each other to see who gets to sit her on their lap. But that doesnt happen. And she is an unhappy person because of it.

 

[wheelin&dealin]

Originally posted by dissendent
This site frickin rocks!!!! Heres an update!!!

I did it. After reading much of the material on this site, I just went ahead and did it.

Today she continued to email me asking me what I was doing for lunch.... I DIDNT RESPOND..

Then I return from a meeting and my admin assistant tells me that she was just by looking for me... around lunch time...

Then after work, I was walking out to my truck then I heard her yell from accross the parking lot.

I went over and spoke to her and she asked why was I ignoring her. I told her I was busy and that I had to go. Then when I got home, she calls my cell asking what I was doing for dinner and I told her I had plans..... she then asked if I can call her when I was done. I told her "Sure, Ill call you when I get home, but I dont know what time that will be..."

Then she said something that blew me away......

"I cant believe Im getting upset at the fact that youre busy doing something without me..."

Then I said: "What do you mean.....we're just friends......right?"

Then she says: "Well......Ive grown quite attached to you..... Ohh my god, I can't believe Im telling you this....."

Then I just went in for the kiss..........

BAM!!! It happend.....IT WORKED!!!
:cheer:

This story is awesome. Who would've known the "friend's zone" is escapable? I pictured this dude as your typical guy in the first post. Then he came to this site... didn't shave for a few days... threw on some ragged bad-a$$ clothes.. developed a ****y attitude and then went on to pick-up this hb. They should make a movie out of this story.

 

[theSpeculator]

I'm confused. You stated that she called you on the PHONE. So how could you have "went in for the kiss" when both of you were on the phone?

 

[Ace of Flames]

official comeback of the century. you did what most couldnt. way to go!

now dont relax yet, you can still fukk it up!