I asked this girl out a couple of days ago for tomorrow. She said sure and told me to call her tonight. So I did, we chatted a bit and when I asked about tomorrow again she didn't even answer (I gave a suggestion about what we can do), she just changed the subject without a yes or no. We just talked again and when I asked whether or not she wanted to go out she told me she might be going out with her friends (apparently she made plans before I asked her out, but hasn't heard from any of her friends yet). She told me she'd call me tomorrow (yeah right). So I just assume that's a rejection. The thing is she was flirty and acting interested before so I figured she'd jump at the chance to go out with me. I'm seriously considering just forgetting about this girl and give a call to a girl I met a couple of weeks ago. Maybe I'll wait til tomorrow and see if she calls me and if she doesn't... NEXT!!!! What do you guys think?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Am I right about this potential flake?
- Thread starter Kal0051
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Igetit!
Moderator
Well,it does seem as if her interest is waning a little. One thing I noticed right off the bat is how she seems to be in control of the whole interaction between you two. She "told" you when to call her. I would have said,"No,I'll call you when I call you".Kal0051 said:I asked this girl out a couple of days ago for tomorrow. She said sure and told me to call her tonight. So I did, we chatted a bit and when I asked about tomorrow again she didn't even answer (I gave a suggestion about what we can do), she just changed the subject without a yes or no.
You think she had plans before you asked her out? If that's the case,then why didn't she tell you she already had plans on that particular day,and just suggest another time?Kal0051 said:We just talked again and when I asked whether or not she wanted to go out she told me she might be going out with her friends (apparently she made plans before I asked her out, but hasn't heard from any of her friends yet).
Well,I have a suggestion for you,however,I don't know if you're "DJ" enough to do it.....BUT it's a win-win situation for you. Either you two would go out,or you'd put an end to wasting your time with her and move on.Kal0051 said:She told me she'd call me tomorrow (yeah right). So I just assume that's a rejection. The thing is she was flirty and acting interested before so I figured she'd jump at the chance to go out with me. I'm seriously considering just forgetting about this girl and give a call to a girl I met a couple of weeks ago. Maybe I'll wait til tomorrow and see if she calls me and if she doesn't... NEXT!!!! What do you guys think?
It's simple:Call her up,and cancel the date. That's right,I said to cancel it. Right now,she's into control. You're sitting at the traffic signal,waiting on her to give you the green light. Take the control back by taking the option out of her hand. Check out this thread. It's from a long,long time ago,back when I first joined. And don't worry,it isn't 5 or 6 pages long. It's only 2 pages,and the replies are short,but the info you need is all on the first page. This guy was in the same/similiar situation as you,and I gave him the same advice. He also tells how things turned out after he did what I suggested. I don't want to ruin it for you,so you can just read it for yourself.
Igetit!
Moderator
That's a good idea,just don't call too early. Maybe a noon/1-ish call. Just tell her you can't do it that night,and maybeKal0051 said:so what? I just call her tomorrow morning and tell her I can't go out tomorrow night? I can do this since I think I don't have a chance with her.
you two can get together some other time....but don't suggest another time.
Wait to see if she does it or not. If she doesn't,then when you two say bye on the phone,then don't call her again. If she does suggest another time,then you reluctantly agree to it. Don't be all eager like a puppy standing on its hind legs begging for a treat.
Good luck man.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Thanks Igetit, that's what I'm gonna do. I'll call that other girl too and see if she wants to have drinks tonight. Oh well, all I have to say is that it's her loss.
And Allurre, I would have done the same thing if I had plans with my friends. I don't know about you but I don't break off plans with my friends just for a date. So I don't care that she won't, but it would have been nice if she told me this when I asked her out.
And Allurre, I would have done the same thing if I had plans with my friends. I don't know about you but I don't break off plans with my friends just for a date. So I don't care that she won't, but it would have been nice if she told me this when I asked her out.
well, I talked to her, told her I made other plans. She accused me of being pissed/distant and holding a grudge. Now she seems to not care anymore, she told me to do whatever the hell I want. Whatever, doubt she'll call me now, but I don't know whether I should call her or not.
Igetit!
Moderator
Woah,woah,wait a minute. You already called her? We must be in different time zones. Right now as I'm typing this,it's 11:55 am. The reason I said not to call too early is because women are wacky enough as it is,so you don't want to call too early when they're still groggy from being asleep.Kal0051 said:well, I talked to her, told her I made other plans. She accused me of being pissed/distant and holding a grudge. Now she seems to not care anymore, she told me to do whatever the hell I want. Whatever, doubt she'll call me now, but I don't know whether I should call her or not.
So you told her you made other plans. Uh.....why did you do that? That was rude dude. No wonder she seemed upset,I would be too.
WHAT??? Me? You think I told you to do this? Oh no,no. I didn't say to tell her you made other plans,I told you to tell her that "you couldn't make it tonight,and that maybe you could do it some other time". The impression I wanted her to get from you was something more important "came up",NOT that your word couldn't be trusted. This way,she'd see that YOUR LIFE is priority number 1,and if she wants to move up on the priority scale,she's going to have to do more than just be pretty/hot.
She accused you of being pissed/distant and holding a grudge. Ok,now why would she do this? When you called her up,what was your tone,demeanor,and if any,what emotion were you feeling while you were speaking to her.
If you remember that convo between you two,then post it.....verbatim,word for word.
I'd like to know WHY she accused you of being distant/pissed/holding a grudge. The only reason she'd accuse you of a grudge is if she had done something to you first. And even if she did,it shouldn't have come across in your voice to her while you were talking to her.
You know what the funny thing about all this is? I wouldn't be surprised if this girl still had somewhat some interest in you. She seemed angry. Well,that's better than her not feeling anything at all. WHATEVER YOU DO,don't call her and apologize. You'll come off as being incongruent,then the door will REALLY be closed on this.
Kevin Feng
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2008
- Messages
- 258
- Reaction score
- 5
Asian Playboy taught me the rule of 3 when it comes to day 2's. You want to treat pick up likes sales. Ultimately, it's up to you to do your absolute best, but if she doesn't go through, then it wasn't entirely your fault.
Remember, there are no "*****es" in pick up, take everything as feedback, if she doesn't like you, that just means your game wasn't solid enough or you weren't interesting enough.
As far as the rule of 3 goes. call/text her 3 times and if that doesn't go through, it's a complete no go, just move on to the next target.
-Kevin
Remember, there are no "*****es" in pick up, take everything as feedback, if she doesn't like you, that just means your game wasn't solid enough or you weren't interesting enough.
As far as the rule of 3 goes. call/text her 3 times and if that doesn't go through, it's a complete no go, just move on to the next target.
-Kevin
yeah, we obviously live in different time zones. I called her just before 12. I guess she thought I was angry because I was indifferent when talking to her and I'm usually happy, so she thought something was up. What I said to her was "Sorry, but I won't be able to hang out tonight, I made other plans. So don't worry about not being able to make it. Maybe we could do something in the future." or something like that. Remember that she suddenly remembered she had other plans, so why would it be wrong of me to make my own plans. Do you think it would have been better to sit around waiting for her call? I don't intend to apologize since I have nothing to apologize for. When I asked if I should call her or wait for her to call me I meant to ask her out again.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Igetit!
Moderator
Ok,I see. Well,what's done is done. However,you should have spoken to her with the exactly same tone and demeanor you normally use.Kal0051 said:yeah, we obviously live in different time zones. I called her just before 12. I guess she thought I was angry because I was indifferent when talking to her and I'm usually happy, so she thought something was up.
Well I guess that wasn't too bad. It just makes you seem a little flakey,though. The important thing was her reaction. She seems a little agitated. That's a thousand times better than if she had just say,"Ok,no problem. Maybe some other time". As long as you got some kind of emotion,some kind of feeling,it's good.Kal0051 said:What I said to her was "Sorry, but I won't be able to hang out tonight, I made other plans. So don't worry about not being able to make it. Maybe we could do something in the future." or something like that.
It's not. She's upset because you decided to live your life instead of putting everything on hold for her. You frustrated her ego. She probably was thinking to herself that she had you under her thumb,but when you call and cancelled on her,she realized that she wasn't as high of an priority on your list as she thought.Kal0051 said:Remember that she suddenly remembered she had other plans, so why would it be wrong of me to make my own plans.
NO.Kal0051 said:Do you think it would have been better to sit around waiting for her call?
Agreed.Kal0051 said:I don't intend to apologize since I have nothing to apologize for.
It's ok if you want to call her again,but wait a day or two. You called her today,so wait until like Wednesday to call her again. But when you call her,DON'T ASK HER OUT.Kal0051 said:When I asked if I should call her or wait for her to call me I meant to ask her out again.
TELL HER that you're going to so and so place,and tell her to come with you.
The phone call should sound something like this:
you:Hey,what are you up to?
her: (blah,blah,blah)
you:That's cool. Hey look,I'm going to (wherever) tomorrow(or whenever),and I WANT you to come with me.
There. That's it. No fumbling. No bumbling. No nervousness. No,"I hope she says yes!!". None of that. And to make sure there's no misunderstanding of what I told you to say,I'll repeat it. I said for you to say.....
I WANT you to come WITH ME.
Now with that out of the way,what do you do if she says no? If she says no,then you say,"Alright,I'll holler at you later". Then you hang up the phone,and don't call her again. You move on.
My guess is that she'll probably be like,"Well,who does he think he is? He cancelled on me two days ago,and now he just calls me up out of the blue,and tells me he wants me to go out somewhere with him?".
If that's the vibe you get from her when you call her,then GOOD! Her mind may tell her one thing,but her biology will be attracted to you because you'll be coming off as high value. And as always,her biology will win out.
Good luck man.