"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Am I playing too hard?

Viking25

Senior Don Juan
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Some of my buddies here who are naturals but dont know anything about DJism..:D telling me that I am coming on them girls too hard...I am being very direct about my intentions sometimes...I figure why waste time with girls who are not that interested.
I found it really easy to get girls e-mails or AIM/YIM names. So some time later I hit them up on AIM and after I establish some rapport with them by talking about common interests,making jokes...just talking about different things. I dont drag those convos for hours..just 15-20 min...maybe twice before I hit them with this:
convo:
I start something about sckool...
Real convo follows.....
Me: how did you do on that test?
Her: crappy
Me: oh ****
Me: I got B...
Her: congrats
Me: lol..naw....
Me: so what you doing tonight?...I was thinking to go check out that live band playing in front of xxxxx...and I wanted to hang out with you anyway...cause I think your kinda cute;-)....
Her: I am watching a movie with a friend
Me: cool...so you never wanna hang out ...or tonight you are not in the mood? just so I dont ask again...
Her: I dunno, we'll see
Me: lol...that's cool...:)....
Her: I don't mind making new friends, but I can say up front I am not looking to date anyone, or anything like that
Me: cool..I am not looking to date anyone either:)
Me: well alright..enjoy your movie...looks like I am going to some party...
Her: cool
Her: have fun

I know she blew me off here...and initialy she displayed some IOIs and IM'ed me few times before.
Same sh1t happened to other 4 -5 girls I tryed to initiate a date with. I am thinking maybe I should do some adjustments to my game since it's not working...but I dont see what I would do different here. My buddy says I should invest more time on a girl...like few weeks before asking on a date...but that's BS! What you all think playas?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Dapper Swindler

Senior Don Juan
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I think some of the DJs here might suggest a slightly different wording. Other than that, you are doing the hardest part of asking them out cold and that's great. I would keep at it and not get discouraged by these girls.
 

JJMcLure

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by Viking25
Me: so what you doing tonight?...I was thinking to go check out that live band playing in front of xxxxx...and I wanted to hang out with you anyway...cause I think your kinda cute;-)....
There is no harm in not wasting time on these chicks.

But remember to use ACTIONS not WORDS. Don't tell her you want to hang out with her - it's IMPLIED by your action of asking her on a date. Don't tell her it's cause she is cute - this is IMPLED in your action of trying to kiss her/your body language etc.

You don't need to tell her these things, they are obvious to her. If you verbalise them like this you kill the mystery and add pressure to her (you have stated exactly where you're going with this and she has to decide there and then whether to follow).

Also i notice you asked her out for the same night. In future ask a few days in advance.

Forget IM/e-mail, it's a weak form of communication. If you can't get with them that night get their phone number.
 

Lost In Translation

Master Don Juan
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Me: so what you doing tonight?...I was thinking to go check out that live band playing in front of xxxxx...and I wanted to hang out with you anyway...cause I think your kinda cute;-)....

*makes buzzer noise* WRONG ANSWER

you said " i want to hang out with you "

SHE IS THE PRIZE

should be the other way around like you so cool she wants to hang around you

you said " CUTE " hmm... dunno about the USA but that doesn't sound very manly where i live in Australia ( Newcastle )

you also gave the game away but TELLING HER YOUR FEELINGS

she now owns you, you are no challenge.

she then goes on to say she is busy.

ok NEXT TIME you do this ASK HER FIRST what she is up to

she says "nothing"

her interest level is probably high and it's a hint for you to invite her out

by you telling her your offer first you took away her chance to flake out on you after you found out she was doing " nothing "

a girl that says nothing then says no to a date has a low interest level. NEXT.

Me: cool...so you never wanna hang out ...or tonight you are not in the mood? just so I dont ask again...
Her: I dunno, we'll see
Me: lol...that's cool...:)....


ok you sound like a puppy dog here begging her for some time

remember YOU ARE THE PRIZE

you sound very unsure of yourself

not like a dj ;)

her " i dunno we'll see "

oh no she now owns you ! you gave her TOTAL control by letting her dictate the terms

you said " thats cool "

another no no. you now told her you are not a busy man. you have nothing to do but wait on her. wait for her call etc.

Her: I don't mind making new friends, but I can say up front I am not looking to date anyone, or anything like that

WELCOME TO HELL a.k.a THE FRIEND ZONE :(

ok lets play that through again in slow motion

watch for it .... here it comes...

I don't mind making new friends

you see it ? she just SLAM DUNKED yo a$$ into the FRIENDS zone

GAME OVER

Me: cool..I am not looking to date anyone either

women will hold you to that.

is not fair i know but women hold men to what they say.


yeah you made some mistakes we all do :D

cheer up, read what advice the other DJ's give you and next time you get in a chat room

take control :D





Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: Don Juanabbe
“ What are you Vanilla-bloody-Ice? “

Quote: Player_Supreme
“ But if a ho wants to just be friends then don't waste your time. And I'm a debase character so your hooking up with her friend in front of her was sweet to my ears. “

Quote: Player_Supreme
“I've taken a fat chick and put her on a diet and training program and created my own super ho. “

Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“First off - she is just another hor who has opened her legs to another man - you are no one special - and there are no "Greatest" to hors - you are just the next pimp in line!!! “

Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“ the 'pimp' mentality works today because you are living in a time such that there are an overabundance if hors - this is the Pimps playground!! Pimps and hors go together like bread and butter - they are complementary natures!!! Pimps need hors like hors need pimps!! “

Quote: squirrels
“ You NEVER pay as a supplicative or bargaining measure, though. The reward that she gets for her affection is YOUR affection. The reward she gets for her sex is YOUR sex. The second you start buying her stuff to keep her around, keep her entertained in your presence, etc...you're compensating for not having what it takes to seduce the woman, and that's totally unacceptable. “
 
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