Am I over analyzing IOI's?

[Embrace]

Last night I decided that I wanted to work game on a chick I know. She's not really a friend I guess.. we know eachother from school and our friends hang out so we see eachother.

Anyway, I decided to practice stuff on her. I verbally teased her untill she initiated kino.. from then I escalated a bit physically. Playfully hitting and all that.

I was teasing her a lot, she was saying "Oh my God! You're so mean! What happened to you? Were you beat as a child?" I wasnt saying anything hurtful when teasing keep in mind.. it was all playful and that comment of hers was playful too.

But I sort of took the playing back with me as an IOI, am I right?

I know I need to escalate physically more im probably at the spot where I could put my arm around her and she would be comfortable.

Me and a few friends were standing in a circle talking, she was next to me with her feet towards me. I think this is a subcontious IOI, but im not totally set on it.

I think I need to escalate further before I really find IOIs.

She'd playfully hit me when I would walk by at the party for no reason, that could be an IOI.


I feel like I over analyze though. I feel like these simple little things could really mean nothing.

Do I simply need to escalate further to find out? Cause I mean she's comfortable with my game thus far.

What do you think? I'll add some more if it comes to my mind.. I sort of went into auto pilot and dont remember all the details you know?

Give input, ask questions.

I dont want to be assuming attraction that is not/never will be there. Thats just a waste of time, I can work other girls instead of wasing time.

By the way, I was very confident last night with everythign I did naturally. I was walking tall with my chest out head up all naturally.

Just so that gives you an idea of how I was emotionally last night

-Jesse

FYI: I'm 17

 

[WC2]

Take IOIs into mind when dealing with women, but don't overanalyze them. On the other hand, don't ignore them either. Where a lot of guys strike out is where they totally miss these signals and don't pursue. To me, it looks like you definitely could've pursued and made a move on this girl.

I'm not too sure about the whole arm around the girl thing bro; especially when you're first initiating contact, girls find it sorta creepy and clingy. Of course you want to let the chick know you're not afraid to touch her, but you gotta show her you don't NEED constant contact with her either. Thats something she should and will crave.

 

[Embrace]

Cool man.
That stuff sounds good.

And shes not a stranger, so putting my arm around her in sort of a hug way I think would work?

Im just looking for a way to initate more stronger kino.

And I will keep in not needing contact. I think I did it well. She would touch me a lot more than I touched her, however I didnt not touch her.

With IOIs, I'll make sure to notice them and not overanalyze. That sounds good. As long as I see they are there

 

[asdfghjkl]

Also dont force the kino with her because it feels unnatural and awkward if you do. What seems to work for me is to just go with the flow with the contact.

 

[Sin Verdad]

IOIs are overrated to me. I say this because you could misinterpret ANYTHING as an IOI. If a girl doesn't look at you...she is shy and likes you. If a girl gives you eye contact....she likes you. If a girl smiles at you....she likes you. If she does smile when you do...she could be shy because she likes you. There is no universal set of IOIs that women give you when they are attracted, as great as that would be. Really there are so many different things and so many different people that I find them a waste of time.

 

[WC2]

There is no universal set of IOIs that women give you when they are attracted, as great as that would be. Really there are so many different things and so many different people that I find them a waste of time.

No universal set of IOIs? If there was no universal way for us to tell that a woman is interested, then men like us would not be getting the amount of booty we do. Guys who get laid not only know how to make a girl feel for him emotionally, but they also know when the girl is FEELING it.

It's the larger piece of the pie (90% of men) that take this attitude and really never take advantage of something they should.

Universal IOIs? I could list 50 of them off the top of my head if I really wanted to.

Now, I'm not saying that these are always 100%, but you'll never seal the deal if you can't see what turns a woman on or off.

 

[Embrace]

I believe it helps to see how she is treating you versuses hwo she is treating other guys at the party.

For example: She would softly punch my stomach without me saying anything to her.. or reach her foot out to kick me on the butt when I was near. She wasnt doing this with any of the other guys.

In retrospect its so obvious. I am going to take notice in how she is treating me in comparison to all the other dudes there next time. Same with any chick.

I dont believe that there are any 100% for sure IOI unless she's all over you, but I think you can naturally feel if the interest is there. I mean really.. there has GOT to be some sort of natural sense of if a woman is attracted to you. How would guys ever reproduce if they cant sense it?

I think its a matter of not missing opportunities and taking risks, escalating, etc

And what you said WC2, being able to notice whats working with the woman and what's turning her off.

I trust your oppinion WC2, the other guys seem KJish

 

[Embrace]

(replying so i can get email notification)

 

[JJMcLure]

Always assume the chick is attracted. "It's always on". You can't read signals reliably, and assuming she is attracted can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Yes, you are overanalyzing, keep moving forward until she stops you, then take one step back and continue. "Rinse and repeat".

She was into you, but you didn't make a move. It's good when they call you mean and hit you. You should have isolated her and kissed her and gone from there.

 

[Ace of Flames]

IOI's or the lack of them don't make or break your chances. They're just signs of her current attraction. NOT how she'll ultimately feel about you by the end of the night. Its just a gauge of how you're doing.

IOI's = You're doing good, keep it up. Escalate with more kino or a kiss.
Lack of IOI's = Whatever you're doing now might not be working. No guarantees on that, but maybe you should try another tactic and see what you get.

 

[mastersF]

just to sidetrack abit, since this thread is about IoI's and specifically kino. There's this chick in class who i kino and tease and play ard with alot. The usual friendly hitting and stuff happens. But i know she is attached. And there is this ****block who came up to us when we were engaging in a friendly kino battle and said "wow, sexual harrassment!" and she replied him with "No... this is called childish!" and resumed our playing. What's up with this?

 

[Tomatoes]

You are overanalzying it....

Just make a move....See how it goes.

Keep us informed.


Sarge On!

 

[Embrace]

Damn guys thanks.. some great information there.

But you seriously think I should of isolated her and made a move?

I mean it was all playful.. there wasn't anything more than playful besides when I held her sholder longer than normal, said "youre so violent" and nudged her a little.

I assumed I would have to escalate the kino and make our contact a little more sensual before she'd be comfortable with me making a move. For example: A massage or something?

What do you guys think?

Thanks for the replies and also ignoring the guy who tried to steal my thread :rock:

Oh and also, it wont be the last time I see her or anything. I see her at parties all the time. And she's with my friends when I meet up with them a lot.

So I will take the info you guys give me and work with it, and deffinitley let you know what happens in a FR.

Always assume the chick is attracted. "It's always on". You can't read signals reliably, and assuming she is attracted can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Yes, you are overanalyzing, keep moving forward until she stops you, then take one step back and continue. "Rinse and repeat".

Thats pretty much what I was doing. Good stuff. I thought there were some IOIs there, I wasnt positive, so I deffintley assumed the most positive outcome. It's really a confidence booster. And when a chick is giving me the vibe I'm looking for, I sort of go to auto pilot and I work off of the positive energy from her and the energy that I have.

A lot like when im in an Improv performance. I work off of the energy of the crowd, it's fascinating how much more comfortable I am to do my thing when theres all that energy focused on me.

 

[Embrace]

I would like to bump this up so that anyone can give there opposing oppinion, or add on to what has been said already.

Theres good information here that anyone in my situation too