Am I on the right track?

[1984]

Besides the fact that I spend way too much time with my roommate, critique me.

Friday night we spent the whole night together. She talked to some other guy at the bar, and I yelled at her a little about her body image issues in the car, but we ended up having sex. This would have been the first time (besides feeling her up) in three weeks.

Saturday night we went to a movie with a friend of ours, and again spent the whole night together. By the time we came home I was exhausted from working earlier, and I ended up sleeping in her bed. No sex. No foreplay. I went to my room, she went to her's. I couldn't sleep, so I walked to her's and asked if it was cool if I hung out for a while. Passed out together after she said "Let's go to sleep like normal people do.". Whatever that meant. I didn't drink or anything.

Sunday night I came home from work, and she was lit. All the roommates hung out in the kitchen and we talked, then I went to the living room to watch a little TV. She came in, we messed around for a while. She told me that her mom asked her if we were "romantically involved". She also said something about how I always smell good, and she thinks that's the main reason she likes me ( ). Said something about pheremones. I ended up fingered her, she came to within an inch of her life, then gave me a *******. We cleaned up, and I went to the gym. She came into my room when I was getting ready and laid down on my bed saying something like, "Oh sure. You got what you wanted and leave." kinda jokingly.

Monday we hung out all day together. She came into my room when she came home from work, and laid down in my bed again. We messed around a little until one of the other roommates came home. She told me I have a cute ass, and that I was cute, and blah blah blah. Went to the grocery store, and I accidently rammed the shopping cart into her ankle, and pissed her right off. We watched TV all night, and I kept trying and trying to get some ass off her to no avail. She didn't do much to stop me, except pull my hand away a few times when I got to her *****, but I could tell she wasn't totally into it. I mean, she was (nips were hard, she was getting wet, and I could tell from the way her head tilted back), but I knew it wasn't going far. Like right in the middle of something she got up and went to make popcorn. I tried harder, and she told me to stop a bunch of times, and said she didn't feel like being touched tonight. Her personality got more and more serious as the night went on. Probably from being tired. At the end of the night she did her, "I'm going to bed" thing, hugged me tight, kissed me a couple of times, and went to her room. I just said, "Cool. I'm gonna watch a movie.".

So I'm not sure if there was a problem tonight. She let me do whatever I wanted to do to her, but she wouldn't go all the way. Maybe she was tired, and knows that I **** for like hours before I nut. Maybe she was a little sore. **** it.

My main problem is that I noticed her checking out her profile on match.com again today. It's kinda lame.

 

[Guybrush]

She's trying to get exclusive with you. Obviously she talked to her mom and told her you had sex - and she's trying to manipulate you into a well defined exclusive relationship.

Stop working on lame details (such as her actions), search the forum and read Rollo Tomassi posts from the archive that are on this subject.

She wasn't sore or tired. She's using her only power ( which has already been compromised since you had sex) to control you and test you.

This is so typical. Textbook stuff!

The question you should ask yourself is this
What do I want from this girl?

Do you wanna be FBs or do you want her exclusively in a LTR ?

Don't forget the fact that settling down is always against your advantage.

Cheers and good luck

 

[1984]

If she wants a relationship, sign me up. I've been trying to hook up with this girl for the better part of three years while stuck in the friendzone. I just don't want to **** it all up and scare her off, or worse, let her think she can call all the shots.

 

[PhatE1vis]

So, when she said her mom asked her if you two were romantically involved, how did you respond? That would be your opportunity to move the LTR ball forward if that's what you want. (SUPER tough with a roommate, which I think you know).

 

[1984]

I don't remember what I said. It wasn't much of an opportunity anyway. She just said that her mom asked about us (we had sex a few weeks ago, and her parents showed up at the apartment just as we were getting out of bed, so they probably picked up some sort of vibe from us), and she told her we weren't, because she felt awkward talking to her mom about it. And she thinks it's too soon to tell her. Then she talked about how she thinks it's wierd that parents can sense these things.

Her dad wants to buy my old TV, and she wants me to take it over to their house to set it up this weekend. So maybe she'll properly introduce me to them.

 

[PhatE1vis]

You seem to be in a really tight spot here. You're f-ing your roommmate. Neither of you can possibly date someone else without the other one having hurt feelings. So essentially, you've accelerated your relationship from 1) getting to know each other as a couple to 2) being live-in bf/gf in a VERY short time. You missed out on a bunch of stuff.

On the otherhand, I'm sure f-ing your roommate is a pretty hot situatoin for both of you. The whole forbidden fruit thing. But forbidden fruit relationships are always short-lived, and that doesn't seem to be what either of you want.

Couple of questions:
1. How old are you (1984, assuming 24)?
2. How old is she?
3. At this age, are you both ready to be exclusive?
4. Do you have another roommate?
5. If you have another roommate, are you both ready to move out and do this thing right?

These are just a few of the questions I would ask myself before moving forward. Then you have to act and make your decision clear to her, the manliest thing you can do at this point.

The answers to these questions will lead to the following options:
1. F-buddies: unlikely given the feelings you've implied from you / inferred from her.
2. Continue as-is: unlikely given the drama.
3. Revert to nothing, date others while living together: unlikey because of hurt feelings.
4. Move out, try dating: SMART
5. Move out, move in together somewhere else: DANGEROUS, but better than 1-3.

Thoughts, 1984?

 

[DonGorgon]

Eh ... sounds like more of a convenient physical attraction than anything else.. Probably wont work as a relationship.. See if you can go 2 week without F'ing her but still hang out and do everything else.. If you find yourself caring about her then there may be more there.. than just convenient PU$$Y at home... which will get boring for one of you sooner than later..

 

[1984]

First of all, I regret using 1984 as a username. It was random.

I'm 30. She's 26. I think her party days are behind her, and mine are long over. I've never been in a serious relationship, she has, but not for years. And we do have two roommates. They've been together as a couple for the last 5 years. The girl keeps asking me what's going on between the two of us, and last night she came home drunk making a bunch of noise. I told her to keep it down because of the other one sleeping, and she said something like, "Oooo.... don't want to wake up your girlfriend.".

The thing that makes this situation a little more complicated is that we've known each other for almost a decade. We started off as acquaintances, and tried dating three years ago. Things only went so far before she laid the LJBF line on me. A year and a half of that, and we wound up having sex anyway. Afterwards I told her I couldn't sleep, which she took as me kicking her out of bed. She told me a few days later that she wanted to stay friends, I told her I didn't, so she proposed that we talk about it. A month of awkwardly trying to get something going with her ended badly, and we didn't see each other for almost a year. She contacted me last summer, we hung out a few times, and for whatever reason she eventually asked me to move in with her.

I honestly didn't think I would have feelings for her when I agreed to this.

So I mean, we do have a history together. Just not a very pleasant one, due to immaturity.

See if you can go 2 week without F'ing her but still hang out and do everything else.. If you find yourself caring about her then there may be more there.. than just convenient PU$$Y at home... which will get boring for one of you sooner than later..

Ever since I've moved in, and even a little bit before, it's felt like we're a couple. We do practically everything together, and I still like simply spending time with her. I'm addicted to her. And that concerns me.

 

[Interceptor]

You dont have a life outside of her do you?

no hobbies or anything , right?

 

[KontrollerX]

You dont have a life outside of her do you?

no hobbies or anything , right?

Ouch.

Way to go for the jugular Interceptor but I think you nailed it.

1984 it doesn't matter if you have a history with this chick or not.

You've been given the run around for years and been blue balled into oblivion.

Any pvssy this chick ever gives you is not going to be given up without a hassle and a fight and is just not worth it for those reasons.

Next her and in doing so you let go of your oneitis.

" I just don't want to **** it all up and scare her off, or worse, let her think she can call all the shots."

This is the mindset for failure.

You have to be the A guy, you have to be the prize to lose.

Stop pedastalizing chicks like this.

You have to take the attitude of if a chick doesn't want me fvck her I will find someone else.

You can't bother yourself worrying about losing some chick by making a mistake.

The best kinds of chicks are those who accept you for who you are mistakes and all but if you play the concealing who you really are game once you slip up its game over, the chick realizes you were not that perfect guy for her and she's gone so be yourself, a DJ self ie the best of who you are and let this true you all hang out for any chick to reject or accept but stop worrying about messing anything up. A DJ wants to scare off a chick that really isn't interested in his real qualities anyway.