Am I on a short leash?

[ProtoMan1]

Hi everyone,

Long time reader here. I don't post often, but when I do I have a questions.

So basically, things with this HB was good, flirting, laughing, some touching, etc. All seems to be going well, but then all of a sudden (last week) she is giving me the cold shoulder. Being nice to everyone but me. When we have a chance to be isolated, she just walks off and blows me off. hehe. Her tone isn't happy. Just giving me short answers. I did call to see what was up and said that we should get together.

Is she pissed at me because I haven't done anything yet? Like taking her out. hehe. SO how close am I being totally screwed and done here? thanks.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Stop worrying about what it may be and get together with her and find out what it really is.

 

[squirrels]

Is she pissed at me because I haven't done anything yet? Like taking her out. hehe. SO how close am I being totally screwed and done here? thanks.

Yeah, she might've got tired of waiting, and decided that you just weren't man enough to make a move. Nothing you do after she makes this decision can change her mind. But ask her out just to be sure.

Do you know what the expression "on a short leash" means? She doesn't have you on ANY "leash" right now. She's cutting you loose.

 

[MacAvoy]

Your best bet is to fight fire with fire. Start ignoring her, move on, spin other plates, if she's interested in you, she'll pursue you. If not, well your spinning other plates, so who cares about 1 plate that isn't interested in you.

Why would you want someone who doesn't want you?

 

[ProtoMan1]

Thanks for the tips guys. Well, normally I probably would just do what you said MacAvoy, but I think at this point it would make it worse. Because I have told her that I wanted to get together with her, but been real busy. So it seems like I'm making no time and effort, so at this point I think it might be best to call her and ask her out. Bascially, just swallow my pride a bit and show her that I'm making the effort to spend time with her regardless of my busy schedule. I think its because she feels as if I'm taking her for granted or that I'm not interested, and that its like most girls of being wanted and wanting the guy to be the man and ask her out.

Am I on the money? hehe.

 

[joekerr31]

Yeah, she might've got tired of waiting, and decided that you just weren't man enough to make a move. Nothing you do after she makes this decision can change her mind. But ask her out just to be sure.

when a woman is really in to you she doesn't get tired of waiting. as long as you keep her going with interaction here and there she will be ready to go a week, a month or a year later.

thats been my experience anyway.

however, if she's not so much in to you, but more in to just having a 'guy', and you fit the bill more than any other bloke around at the time, then she will cut you loose after only a few interactions if you dont move on her.

 

[joekerr31]

I think its because she feels as if I'm taking her for granted or that I'm not interested, and that its like most girls of being wanted and wanting the guy to be the man and ask her out.

Am I on the money? hehe.

so basically she's throwing a tantrum. she's not getting what she wants, so now you are goign to suffer until she gets what she wants

be careful with chics like this. she's showing you right here and now what to expect from her down the road.

from my experience, the women who have been in to me continue to conversate with me whether i ask them out or not. they simply enjoy my presence and they enjoy having their ego stroked (ie. a guy they like, likes talking to them).

when a woman likes you she gets a bit of a 'high' from being around you. she's not going to walk away from that 'high', unless of course she's immature and is prone to spite, which this particular girl seems to be.

 

[window]

when a woman is really in to you she doesn't get tired of waiting. as long as you keep her going with interaction here and there she will be ready to go a week, a month or a year later.

thats been my experience anyway.

however, if she's not so much in to you, but more in to just having a 'guy', and you fit the bill more than any other bloke around at the time, then she will cut you loose after only a few interactions if you dont move on her.

This is so true...

 

[jophil28]

when a woman is really in to you she doesn't get tired of waiting. as long as you keep her going with interaction here and there she will be ready to go a week, a month or a year later.

thats been my experience anyway.

QUOTE]

That is exactly my experience too - a woman who digs you will wait around- they hover around and flit around like a butterfluy - occasionally giving you 'that smile' ( that's 'hover' not hoover )

 

[jophil28]

so basically she's throwing a tantrum. she's not getting what she wants, so now you are goign to suffer until she gets what she wants

be careful with chics like this. she's showing you right here and now what to expect from her down the road.

.

Once again, this is also my experience -
Do not ever change the way you do things to FIX a woman's' bad mood.
If they get snooty because you are not playing the 'game' according to their RULES then do not waste anymore time on her -she is a brat with a bloated sense of her own market value.

 

[Tazman]

when a woman is really in to you she doesn't get tired of waiting. as long as you keep her going with interaction here and there she will be ready to go a week, a month or a year later.

thats been my experience anyway.

however, if she's not so much in to you, but more in to just having a 'guy', and you fit the bill more than any other bloke around at the time, then she will cut you loose after only a few interactions if you dont move on her.

This is so true...

Agreed.

 

[jophil28]

Hi everyone,




.. but then all of a sudden (last week) she is giving me the cold shoulder. Being nice to everyone but me. When we have a chance to be isolated, she just walks off and blows me off. hehe. Her tone isn't happy. Just giving me short answers. I did call to see what was up and said that we should get together.

Is she pissed at me because I haven't done anything yet? Like taking her out. hehe. SO how close am I being totally screwed and done here? thanks.

THis woman is trying to punish you for not being an attentive, supplicating, groveling AFC like she expects.
Ignore her antics and spin someone else. NEVER contact women who do this shyte, because then you are telling her how to manipulate you and control you and your behavior in the future.

Any talk on this board about her thinking that you are not "man enough " is crap. That is more like female shaming talk than good MM advice..

Jophil says, " Do not reward any woman's manipulative behavior with your attention."

 

[Last Man Standing]

Jophil says, " Do not reward any woman's manipulative behavior with your attention."

Correctamundo!!!!! Attention of wrongdoing breeds contempt!!!

 

[ProtoMan1]

so basically she's throwing a tantrum. she's not getting what she wants, so now you are goign to suffer until she gets what she wants

be careful with chics like this. she's showing you right here and now what to expect from her down the road.

from my experience, the women who have been in to me continue to conversate with me whether i ask them out or not. they simply enjoy my presence and they enjoy having their ego stroked (ie. a guy they like, likes talking to them).

when a woman likes you she gets a bit of a 'high' from being around you. she's not going to walk away from that 'high', unless of course she's immature and is prone to spite, which this particular girl seems to be.

I agree, there must be a reason to why she is singling me out. I think it's because I haven't asked/taken her out. Well, normally I would just ignore her until she comes around. Is that the best way? Because she wants something from me, right? So would it be best to call her and to tell her that, "I want to take you out, let's go out this day... " because why else would she single me out?

 

[ProtoMan1]

THis woman is trying to punish you for not being an attentive, supplicating, groveling AFC like she expects.
Ignore her antics and spin someone else. NEVER contact women who do this shyte, because then you are telling her how to manipulate you and control you and your behavior in the future.

Any talk on this board about her thinking that you are not "man enough " is crap. That is more like female shaming talk than good MM advice..

Jophil says, " Do not reward any woman's manipulative behavior with your attention."

I agree that she is punishing me. hehe. Yeah, I completely agree with you and the others whom has posted. So what should I do? Just play it cool until she cools down? Because I think she is single-ing me out for a reason, I think its because she wants me to ask/take her out.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I agree that she is punishing me. hehe. Yeah, I completely agree with you and the others whom has posted. So what should I do? Just play it cool until she cools down? Because I think she is single-ing me out for a reason, I think its because she wants me to ask/take her out.

I'd be careful. Don't confuse the comfort of avoidance with being a man who seems in control. Confront her, find out what's going on and confront the issue as necessary straight on.

 

[jophil28]

....I think she is single-ing me out for a reason, I think its because she wants me to ask/take her out.

This may be true BUT if you react to her pouting then you are in her game, playing catch up. Everytime that a man reacts to a woman's emotional state, her enters her frame - and because it a frame of HER design, you are not in control ,she is.
Do NOT contact this women because you are thinking that she wants you. Perhaps she does BUT you need to send her the message that her bratty sulking is not the way to get what she wants.. Now read this all again and digest it and ask back if you don't get it.
YOu have to be clear about these female games and what to do about them, otherwise you become hamburger..

 

[joekerr31]

I agree, there must be a reason to why she is singling me out. I think it's because I haven't asked/taken her out. Well, normally I would just ignore her until she comes around. Is that the best way? Because she wants something from me, right? So would it be best to call her and to tell her that, "I want to take you out, let's go out this day... " because why else would she single me out?

the only problem though is that she has now created a 'lose lose' scenario for you. because she has implemented the 'ignore' tactic, if you now come running she knows that all she has to do to control you is ignore you.

so you're kind of screwed, as my previous post indicated.

your best option is to ignore her and spin other plates. IF she then lets go of her 'ignore' tactic, and switches to an 'attention' tactic (ie. providing you with greater attention) then pursue her.

so right now i'd continue to flirt lightly with her when you are face to face, this allows her to re-engage you if she wants. while you're doing that continue to flirt with other women and take other women out.

 

[joekerr31]

I agree that she is punishing me. hehe. Yeah, I completely agree with you and the others whom has posted. So what should I do? Just play it cool until she cools down? Because I think she is single-ing me out for a reason, I think its because she wants me to ask/take her out.

when a mature healthy chic likes you she does not let you know she likes you by ignoring you!

be careful how you are reading her actions here. you sound like you've almost got oneitis. the more she treats you badly the more you somehow think she likes you.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What seems to be the problem with confronting the issue? If you guys are worried about how she perceives you, what is she to think with you avoiding her?