So a couple months ago my...err, former girlfriend had an abortion. You can read up on the background here if you care to:
http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=212272
Ever since then it has been hard times. It started out with her moving back to her father's and withdrawing from me, claiming depression. She insisted that it "wasn't about me".
I took her at her word, despite my overall lack of trust in women, because I had done some research and discovered that some women experience something call Post-Abortion Stress Syndrome, or PASS, and go through a wave of intense emotions.
Some more time passed with very little contact and I became angry with her. The story is detailed in the link above but the brunt of it is that she was close to ending it but I managed to sway her back to me.
We had lunch shortly after and she seemed back to herself, very bright and bubbly like before. After that, more evasion, excuses not to see me, ignoring texts, calls, etc.
Eventually she came around and explained her behavior. Some things she has said:
"Part of my recovery is taking care of myself, if you can't handle that then forget about me. This isn't about you."
"My biggest collapse was with you. That's why its so hard for me to be around you at the moment. I don't want to get depressed and fall back down, I'm scared okay"
So again, I took her at her word. She eventually asked me to look after her dog for a week while she went away to "get help". I didn't even ask where she was going as I felt I had already pressured her too much. While she was away she seemed to be warming up to me, calling me, being a little friendlier. Then she returned and it was back to the same old ****.
I confronted her again and she replied:
"I'm sorry, I wish things were different but I just can't change how I feel now
"
That stung but I didn't let it show and told her no worries, life goes on. Then I stopped engaging her.
She kept sending me texts asking for favors: to watch her dog, to look after him for the night, etc. Never showing any emotion or care for me, just very impersonal requests for favors. At first I was reluctant as I'm in pain and trying to move on, but then I fell prey to my weakness for her and figured she had been through a rough time and it was partly my responsibility.
Then came the time where she asked me for a ride to her new job. I obliged, and I seriously regret it now. From the moment I picked her up she unleased a bunch of comments that were clearly engineered to hurt me. Talked about how she couldn't wait to get a car and that she was going to move out of state, etc. Just generally rubbing it in that she didn't want to continue with me.
The odd thing was that her words seemed forced, like she was showing a little too much excitement about moving on. I could tell she was fishing for a reaction but I just kinda stared forward and nodded my head. She also said other weird things like she has no interest in dating, she thinks she's gonna become a lesbian, etc. None of it felt genuine.
After that I was pissed and left her without contact for a couple days. But then I cracked and called her to ask her to see me. She was hesitant and said she had plans so I hung up and asked her through text why she was doing all of this, to which she didn't respond. Finally I told her to go to hell and its been 3 days since we've said anything to each other.
What the hell is going on here? I know that she's effectively ended the relationship but is it low interest or is she in serious pain right now? I'm not sure how to proceed. Part of me hates her and that's motivating me to stay away, then another part of me wants to reach out and offer my help. And then yet another part of me wonders if she's just been cheating all this time and for some reason decided to cover it up rather than just tell me.
I guess that was long and kind of incoherent. So confused right now. I know that when a woman doesn't want to be with you, well there's your answer...but her behavior is so bizarre compared to what it was pre-abortion. She loved me so much and then after it was like a light flicked off and I was nothing to her.
http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=212272
Ever since then it has been hard times. It started out with her moving back to her father's and withdrawing from me, claiming depression. She insisted that it "wasn't about me".
I took her at her word, despite my overall lack of trust in women, because I had done some research and discovered that some women experience something call Post-Abortion Stress Syndrome, or PASS, and go through a wave of intense emotions.
Some more time passed with very little contact and I became angry with her. The story is detailed in the link above but the brunt of it is that she was close to ending it but I managed to sway her back to me.
We had lunch shortly after and she seemed back to herself, very bright and bubbly like before. After that, more evasion, excuses not to see me, ignoring texts, calls, etc.
Eventually she came around and explained her behavior. Some things she has said:
"Part of my recovery is taking care of myself, if you can't handle that then forget about me. This isn't about you."
"My biggest collapse was with you. That's why its so hard for me to be around you at the moment. I don't want to get depressed and fall back down, I'm scared okay"
So again, I took her at her word. She eventually asked me to look after her dog for a week while she went away to "get help". I didn't even ask where she was going as I felt I had already pressured her too much. While she was away she seemed to be warming up to me, calling me, being a little friendlier. Then she returned and it was back to the same old ****.
I confronted her again and she replied:
"I'm sorry, I wish things were different but I just can't change how I feel now
"That stung but I didn't let it show and told her no worries, life goes on. Then I stopped engaging her.
She kept sending me texts asking for favors: to watch her dog, to look after him for the night, etc. Never showing any emotion or care for me, just very impersonal requests for favors. At first I was reluctant as I'm in pain and trying to move on, but then I fell prey to my weakness for her and figured she had been through a rough time and it was partly my responsibility.
Then came the time where she asked me for a ride to her new job. I obliged, and I seriously regret it now. From the moment I picked her up she unleased a bunch of comments that were clearly engineered to hurt me. Talked about how she couldn't wait to get a car and that she was going to move out of state, etc. Just generally rubbing it in that she didn't want to continue with me.
The odd thing was that her words seemed forced, like she was showing a little too much excitement about moving on. I could tell she was fishing for a reaction but I just kinda stared forward and nodded my head. She also said other weird things like she has no interest in dating, she thinks she's gonna become a lesbian, etc. None of it felt genuine.
After that I was pissed and left her without contact for a couple days. But then I cracked and called her to ask her to see me. She was hesitant and said she had plans so I hung up and asked her through text why she was doing all of this, to which she didn't respond. Finally I told her to go to hell and its been 3 days since we've said anything to each other.
What the hell is going on here? I know that she's effectively ended the relationship but is it low interest or is she in serious pain right now? I'm not sure how to proceed. Part of me hates her and that's motivating me to stay away, then another part of me wants to reach out and offer my help. And then yet another part of me wonders if she's just been cheating all this time and for some reason decided to cover it up rather than just tell me.
I guess that was long and kind of incoherent. So confused right now. I know that when a woman doesn't want to be with you, well there's your answer...but her behavior is so bizarre compared to what it was pre-abortion. She loved me so much and then after it was like a light flicked off and I was nothing to her.
