am i losing control / not being aggressive here

[gh15]

met a girl through a mutual friend years back, always thought she was cute but never asked her out. Bumped into her couple years later before graduation, struck up small talk, got her number suggesting we hang out sometime.

Don't want to overanalyze, but what is going on here?

Me: "how does japanese for lunch sound?"
Girl: sounds good do you have a place in mind?
Me: let's go to XYZ unless you hate that place haha
Girl: haha no i dont but have you been to ABC?

-I get the feeling she wants to go to ABC. I have been there in fact, and don't really have a preference in terms of where we go.

Just wanted a second opinion in terms of whether I'm getting pushed around or whatever.

Thx all - trying to get better day by day!

gh15

 

[Neon Owl]

'let's go to XYZ unless you hate that place haha'

Next time just say 'let's go to XYZ' by saying 'unless you hate that place' you're already giving her a way out. You should be dominant and lead her to the places you want to go...if she digs you she will come along just to be with you, even if she would prefer going somewhere else.

And the 'haha' at the end made you seem a bit nervous about asking her. Don't do that again lol

 

[Backwardsman]

hey, i think you should take the lead and stick with your suggestion - i believe a guy should always choose where to go...

i am currently seeing a girl, and i always say where we are going, what take away etc, when she suggests something i just say, no, we will go here...

 

[gh15]

thanks bud, i think it may have stemmed from a subconscious "putting her on pedestal." will fix and see how it goes when we meet!

 

[like2jam]

Yeah I would agree. Never say 'Unless you hate that place'. You are already deferring to her. Now, you could ( in the future ) suggest a couple of places and if she says yeah, I love xyz!, Then you're golden.

I would still try to get her to go to xyz if you can. You could even respond, yeah, ABC is alright, but let's stick with xyz.

 

[gh15]

thx all, recovered it back to XYZ. appreciate the advice