I am a senior in H.S and I have been talking with this girl Jill we text each other alot and for the most time I am very honest with her I always bust her balls about something as I was texting her today she send me this text after we were talking about meeting people in clubs ..."Ya not gonna like i front on boys at the club cus im tired of hooking up with boys i wanna hook up wit girls xD" i already know she is bi but after this quote am I in the friend zone or not I am open to all crticism?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Am I in the friend zone?
- Thread starter Joey23
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Purefilth
Master Don Juan
She talks to you about boys and hookups? Yeah dude, you are deep in that pit of despair.
It's one thing to bust her balls, but long talks and 'honesty' will get you friended up.
I may have misread it though, and she could be wondering why you haven't made a move yet, like a man.
Either way, the solution is to go for it. Make a move ask her out on a date, kiss close and F close.
If you strike out, and get the LJBF from her, then she isn't interested in you svxually, and you can move on.
If you make a move and get in, then congrats!
Whatever you do, do NOT talk about your feelings or tell her you like her.
It's one thing to bust her balls, but long talks and 'honesty' will get you friended up.
I may have misread it though, and she could be wondering why you haven't made a move yet, like a man.
Either way, the solution is to go for it. Make a move ask her out on a date, kiss close and F close.
If you strike out, and get the LJBF from her, then she isn't interested in you svxually, and you can move on.
If you make a move and get in, then congrats!
Whatever you do, do NOT talk about your feelings or tell her you like her.
Honestly call me ***** but I am way to scared if I screw it up it's going to be awkward since I have classes with her. Many girls tell me that I'm good looking but I am always getting in the friend zone my game is failing. I read So many articles on meeting girls but I can't get out my comfort zone what should I do?
How are you going to screw up?! you make a move on her and if she rebuffs your advances just be cool with it, NOW YOU WILL KNOW SHE WASN'T INTERSTED.Joey23 said:
and if she has a problem with it afterwards, well then its her problem not yours. In a couple of months you are going to be out of highschool anyway and you will be kicking yourself someday for always being in doubt.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
HalfPUAHalfAFC
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2012
- Messages
- 320
- Reaction score
- 63
Aspiring Jedi DJ, you are absolutely friendzoned.
Let's walk through some stuff here, shall we?
1. When a girl is telling you about her hookups, dates, etc., she's talking to you like she does a girlfriend, not a guy she wants to get into her rotation.
2. You say you've read up on DJ material. But also say you talk to her all the time. Something hasn't sunk in. Texting/constant chatting up without putting the moves on is the quickest way into the friendzone.
I've done it myself. And even currently, there's two women I'm trying to get into my rotation and in the past I would have made the mistake of too much contact, orbiting, etc. I'm not sure if I'll be able to seal the deal with either of them, but I know that my absence has only kept my marginal chances afloat.
3. When there's a woman you want to get with, you got to make that known, either by asking her out and/or making some sort of sexual move on her. Not doing that shows her on or both of two things: a) you have no balls and b) you are only interested in friendship. She'll respond accordingly.
One of the girls I mentioned above started out all flirty, showing definite signs of interest. But for some reason I've not really solved yet, when I asked her out I got a non-committal, wishy-washy reply (e.g., "I'm just out of a bad break up, not ready to date yet). I tried again a month or so later and got a similar "maybe sometime soon" reply. Well, I dropped my pursuit and focused on other plates. She still shows signs of interested because I walked away, demonstrated options, didn't chase, etc. I have no idea if she'll ever come around, but I know moving on increases my chances and orbiting/hovering, constant texting, etc. decreases them.
Girl two has me perplexed a bit too. We went out one night and it was supposed to be in a group. Two others dropped out and it was just me and her. Had a great time. Toward the end, she just blurts out that she wants to bang. Get back to her place and in bed and she stops it all, because, I think, she was too drunk (way hungover next day). Anyway, I've also not blown up her phone, hovered, etc. But when I see her we are friendly and interact well but she also mentions having dates. I've tried to get her out but she works a lot (supposed to go out for drinks Sunday, but I'm expecting a flake). Here, my point is she knows I'm interested up logistics, timing, intervening events have prevented any real escalation. I'm on the verge of becoming a "guy friend" even if I've tried to avoid that scenario. It happens sometimes even with evasive maneuvers.
My point is that it sounds like what you've done are things a guy thinks will build attraction, get the girl, etc.... being friendly, available, nice, etc. Well, she might actually get to like you, but as a friend. You gotta get you intentions out there on the table.
DO NOT tell her you like her. DO NOT keep orbiting.
Get her out. Kino, tease, joke, escalate. And for gods sake try to kiss her.
If it doesn't work, DO NOT act all butt-hurt. Play it cool.
She has to see you as a sexual guy and she won't hate you for trying to get with her. She WILL hate you if you continue orbiting, act like a wuss, and then suddenly fess up your feeeeewlings.
I remember reading somewhere that one problem confessing your feelings is that it suddenly puts all the pressure on her and women react poorly to that. Don't do it.
What you should do is go to the "tips" page and read Bradd0's stickied post at the top. All of it. Lots of great advice, tips, value there.
Let's walk through some stuff here, shall we?
1. When a girl is telling you about her hookups, dates, etc., she's talking to you like she does a girlfriend, not a guy she wants to get into her rotation.
2. You say you've read up on DJ material. But also say you talk to her all the time. Something hasn't sunk in. Texting/constant chatting up without putting the moves on is the quickest way into the friendzone.
I've done it myself. And even currently, there's two women I'm trying to get into my rotation and in the past I would have made the mistake of too much contact, orbiting, etc. I'm not sure if I'll be able to seal the deal with either of them, but I know that my absence has only kept my marginal chances afloat.
3. When there's a woman you want to get with, you got to make that known, either by asking her out and/or making some sort of sexual move on her. Not doing that shows her on or both of two things: a) you have no balls and b) you are only interested in friendship. She'll respond accordingly.
One of the girls I mentioned above started out all flirty, showing definite signs of interest. But for some reason I've not really solved yet, when I asked her out I got a non-committal, wishy-washy reply (e.g., "I'm just out of a bad break up, not ready to date yet). I tried again a month or so later and got a similar "maybe sometime soon" reply. Well, I dropped my pursuit and focused on other plates. She still shows signs of interested because I walked away, demonstrated options, didn't chase, etc. I have no idea if she'll ever come around, but I know moving on increases my chances and orbiting/hovering, constant texting, etc. decreases them.
Girl two has me perplexed a bit too. We went out one night and it was supposed to be in a group. Two others dropped out and it was just me and her. Had a great time. Toward the end, she just blurts out that she wants to bang. Get back to her place and in bed and she stops it all, because, I think, she was too drunk (way hungover next day). Anyway, I've also not blown up her phone, hovered, etc. But when I see her we are friendly and interact well but she also mentions having dates. I've tried to get her out but she works a lot (supposed to go out for drinks Sunday, but I'm expecting a flake). Here, my point is she knows I'm interested up logistics, timing, intervening events have prevented any real escalation. I'm on the verge of becoming a "guy friend" even if I've tried to avoid that scenario. It happens sometimes even with evasive maneuvers.
My point is that it sounds like what you've done are things a guy thinks will build attraction, get the girl, etc.... being friendly, available, nice, etc. Well, she might actually get to like you, but as a friend. You gotta get you intentions out there on the table.
DO NOT tell her you like her. DO NOT keep orbiting.
Get her out. Kino, tease, joke, escalate. And for gods sake try to kiss her.
If it doesn't work, DO NOT act all butt-hurt. Play it cool.
She has to see you as a sexual guy and she won't hate you for trying to get with her. She WILL hate you if you continue orbiting, act like a wuss, and then suddenly fess up your feeeeewlings.
I remember reading somewhere that one problem confessing your feelings is that it suddenly puts all the pressure on her and women react poorly to that. Don't do it.
What you should do is go to the "tips" page and read Bradd0's stickied post at the top. All of it. Lots of great advice, tips, value there.