Am I doing the right thing?

[eaglez1177]

Hey all. My ex gf and I went out for 5 months and I broke up with her about a month ago. Things have been going pretty good for me...i've handled the breakup well. I havent felt that much anxiety, depression, missing her, ya know all that stuff. I completely cut off all contact with her, which definitely made things easier (removed her from facebook, removed her cell num, everything). I'm over her completely, but unfortunately, I still havent totally forgotten about her (i mean we've only been broken up for a month).

(and let me just mention that the reason why I broke up with my gf was because I genuinely did not feel the same way I did when we first started going out. I just got tired of her after goin out for so long and was tired of everything and being with her so much. I guess you lose that spark after being with someone for so long and so much. Not to mention that I had some suspicion that she might've cheated on me.)


Well today I got an interesting text from my ex-gf's best friend (I'll call the best friend Sarah). It talked about how my ex didnt understand why I broke up with her (which I later explained), how she always wonders if she did anything wrong, and how she cries to Sarah all the time saying how much she misses me.

Obviously, it was tough for me to hear about all this. I feel bad that my ex is having such a hard time, and I hope things get better for her. I guess you could say that a part of me still feels the same emotional pain that shes going through now. Just being reminded of this whole thing is tough.


Sarah pretty much told me how my ex is having a very tough time getting over things, and then in her final text, she says "wait so theres no chance u guys would like get back together or anything?"

I thought very long and hard about this question. My response: "No. Once things are over they're over...it just wouldnt work out a second time, things would be different if we went out a second time and it just wouldnt be the same."

It was really tough for me to say that. But I believe I made the right decision and this was the right move by not leaving myself or my ex-gf a chance of us getting back together or me crawling back to her. Would you guys agree? Please I really need some reasurrance right now...

 

[jdjd]

mind if i ask how old are you?

 

[GuanYu]

It's been said countless times, but the best medicine for situations like this is to find more women.

More options = less time you have to worry about how an ex you broke up with interprets sh*t.

 

[jdjd]

its been 4 years...since i broke up w/ one of my ex's...

we still talk or communicate once in a great while...

keep the borderline....ur just friends now...keep it that way...

some ex's can be ur life long friend....

not everyone will agree w/ this....but for me ...one of my ex's are....

 

[WC2]

You couldn't have done it any better. Nice, polite rejection is the way to go with women that are no longer healthy for you.

I hope you know she obviously schemed this out with her friend 'Sarah' and was probably sitting there as she sent the messages, if not she typed them herself.

The ultimatum "so there's no chance you'd get back with her?" is classic. I've had my ex give me the same thing many times, and I've seen my boys get it all the time as well.

It's actually not really an ultimatum to women; they simply want to see what their options are. If you're no longer an option, she wants to get you out of her mind so she can move on to new things.

Don't fall for this BS about your ex being broken up over the breakup.. if she was really broken up then she'd be ACTING on trying to get you back as opposed to just talking. She may be broken up over the fact that she's not getting as much attention from you, but she's not actually broken up about the fact you two aren't still together (she may think that now emotionally, but it's not going to last forever).

Either way, I think the fact that you did the right thing should give you some confidence to move on to new and better things.

 

[eaglez1177]

You couldn't have done it any better. Nice, polite rejection is the way to go with women that are no longer healthy for you.

I hope you know she obviously schemed this out with her friend 'Sarah' and was probably sitting there as she sent the messages, if not she typed them herself.

The ultimatum "so there's no chance you'd get back with her?" is classic. I've had my ex give me the same thing many times, and I've seen my boys get it all the time as well.

It's actually not really an ultimatum to women; they simply want to see what their options are. If you're no longer an option, she wants to get you out of her mind so she can move on to new things.

Don't fall for this BS about your ex being broken up over the breakup.. if she was really broken up then she'd be ACTING on trying to get you back as opposed to just talking. She may be broken up over the fact that she's not getting as much attention from you, but she's not actually broken up about the fact you two aren't still together (she may think that now emotionally, but it's not going to last forever).

Either way, I think the fact that you did the right thing should give you some confidence to move on to new and better things.

K thanks that helped alot...and im 18 years old btw.

And ya I mean "Sarah" said that she was alone and all and was just texting me cuz she was curious but I knew that it would get back to my ex gf. Im just happy that I havent turned into the countless number of people on this forum that crawl back to their ex gf's after they break up lol.