Am I doing the right thing here?

[TomB30]

Hi all,

I am back in the dating game after a longer break.

So the story goes like this:
We met last week via a corporate function. I immediately liked her when we met. The first evening I took her out to see the city, a colleague of mine was there as well. We just had a good time. Casual dinner over drinks, then a party. My colleague later called two of his lady friends and we all went for drinks and a party afterwards. She and I talked the whole evening. And wherever I was at the party, she followed me.
The next evening I took her out for dinner, kind of a send-off dinner as she'll be on an overseas assignment for a few weeks. Picked a nice restaurant though and we had a great evening again. Plenty of nice chats, laughs etc. She almost forgot her handbag when we left. She was a bit nervous i think. Most likely ss the dinner was rather ambigious, ie whether it was dinner or "just dinner" i you know what i mean. Dropped her off at her place. On the way we "bumped" into each other. Later that same evening she texted me she had a great evening and thanks again.
We are now both abroad for a bit. I got another email in which she asked me to keep updating her. It's been a week now and we texted every day. The first day I was beat and tired so I didn't, sure enough she gave me her other number and texted how things are.
In the past I preferred calls. But perhaps it's an age thing as she just left uni and is a few years my junior. Called her once, didn't answer but got a text the same night. She was watching a movie. So we were back to texting again.

I decided not to text for one day or so, thinking perhaps it's a bit much. Not on my account but I don't want to give her the impression I would be needy or anything.

Am I doing the right thing here? Would I run the risk of just being friends with her if we only text? Does she want to take things slowly? By the way, our textx are not some random "howdy" but meaningful: asking what I am doing, plans for the weekend, etc.

I personally think I am beyond the just friends zone. Am I right?

Many thanks,

Tom

 

[Skalioppe]

It sounds like you're doing things OK-ish, but my only advice would be that without some escalation you could end up in the friend-zone. Not replying for a while is actually a good thing (as counter-intuitive as it is). It makes women think they aren't the only option and that you have a fulfilled, busy life. It keeps them guessing and in my experience, makes them keener.

If you haven't already, try to up the ante in the texting content. More flirting, a bit of sexual innuendo maybe, but a gradual escalation that makes her aware that you want more than a friends thing without offending her. If women aren't aware that you are interested in them in that way, they eventually slide you into the "nice guy, friend" pile.

I like to get women to send a pic on the back of them telling me what they're doing, it's a compliance test and I they normally oblige and I can leverage some escalation on the pics in time.

Her : "I'm sat in the park with my feet in the lake, it's gorgeous."
Me : "Pic or you're lying!"
Her : <Sends pic>
Me : Sigh, there was me thinking you were in a bikini
Her : Oh you'd like that would you? )

If you see what I mean.

Sometimes you have to tread a little careful, but escalation through gradual small changes largely goes without hassle. Good luck man.

 

[Cremasta]

By the way, our textx are not some random "howdy" but meaningful: asking what I am doing, plans for the weekend, etc.

There's one very simple way to know if a woman has at least some interest in you... they keep making the effort to talk to you.

In this day and age, texting counts just as well, especially if you're both out of town. Just don't overdo it.

 

[Tiguere]

how come you didnt go for the kiss on the last dinner before you send her off overseas. come on man grab your balls . we are all on the friendzone until a move is made. remeber that. the trick is to get out of the friendzone as soon you get her isolated.

 

[Young Juan]

like Skal said, you gotta be sure to break that friend barrier. Hot women like masculine, testosterone filled men. Just cuz you drop an innuendo here or there doesn't mean you're not a gentleman. I usually drop a double entendre followed by a wink, so they know it was intended. "wow" is a common response. "stop" is rarely, if ever a response.

People confuse being a gentleman with being a nice guy. I'm a gentleman because of the way I treat women, I drive when we go out together, open doors, tip appropriately, etc. I also communicate sexually in a playful way and not a nasty "i wanna stick my caulk down your throat" way.

In a nutshell though, you gotta get sexual so she knows whats up and you can fvck next time you see her.

An easy responses you can insert to random things she says, (or you set her up to say) include, "That's what SHE said!", a classic sexual innuendo...e.g. "I went to the grand canyon, I couldn't believe how big it was! , "That's what SHE said"