am i being too much with new gf? first time she hasn't replied.

[LoneWolf]

okay so i admit i've fallen for her more than she has for me. the last time i saw her was on friday. i text her on saturday (next night) saying i had a great time and she replied the same. then i called her on monday and we spoke, well she did most of the speaking (she talks a lot) for about 20 minutes. somewhere in the conversation i reminded her of the movie we were supposed to see this week. she said she wasn't sure because she was already commited to work and shes working all day fri and sat or whatever.. and that she will let me know. cool, so i just said yeah no problem and she reminded me she DID want to see me but yeah.

now i think i went too much because i messaged her facebook the next day saying "ive been practising bbal! i will beat you one day!" because she plays basketball and keeps beating me when we play together. she didn't reply. i saw her online the next day facebook chat but i didnt message her neither did she. the next day i text her phone a little funny thing. when we had sex the other night money fell out my pocket and i only just found it while cleaning my room under my bed so i just said "i found change under the bed while cleaning my room.. wonder how that got there " that was last night. no reply.

we have the best time together, great sex and romance is in the air when we are together, looking each other in the eyes and all that stuff. but once she leaves i feel like it's for good.

starting to think she might not be interested anymore and i've come to the decision that i will stop contacting her from now on. the ball is in her court. was i contacting her too much or did i do fine? i just dont know where i stand with her that's all.. been seeing each other maybe just a month now. driving me nuts!

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Spin more plates. Don't depend on this girl because you are. You are being way too needy and it is pushing her away. You have a bad case of oneitis my friend. I don't care if it is your girlfriend or not. You need to find better things to occupy your time. Whether it be your job or other plates. Just do it.

Side note: I wish a girl could beat me in basketball. That's the day I'd never talk to her again lol.

 

[LoneWolf]

so did i already screw it up?

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

It's salvagable. Just make sure to get something else to occupy your time and not put so much value on her. Once you take a step back she should take a step closer to you. It works. I've been there and done that.

 

[Tiguere]

yea man . you sound pvssywhipped.

stop being the b!tch in the relationship

 

[LoneWolf]

i know, i can't help it .. i'm a cancer and we are like that. i wish i didn't care about girls i meet so much but it gets the better of us. because of this though ive just arranged to go clubbing with a friend on sat night to get my mind off things and dance with some hotties. what if she wants to do something the same night? do i blow her off or tell her im going out with friends and she can come too? she DID invite me to a bar last week with her friends. either way i just want to get my mind off all of this and do something wild!

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Shes going to bar with friends.... Thats a red flag to me. This relationship in my opinion is doomed.

 

[LoneWolf]

huh? no no... she invited me out and i went with HER and her sister and one friend to a bar last week. we had a good time. had sex after that too.

 

[shizz702]

Spin more plates. Don't depend on this girl because you are. You are being way too needy and it is pushing her away. You have a bad case of oneitis my friend. I don't care if it is your girlfriend or not. You need to find better things to occupy your time. Whether it be your job or other plates. Just do it.

This.

Can't stress it enough. When you got other plates you don't care about stuff like this.

 

[LoneWolf]

that's true shizz. but when is the time to stop spinnin plates? when it gets more serious i guess ey? i'm really pumped for this weekend because im going all out and i want to forget about her.

but again, what if she wants to do something the same night? do i invite her along or blow her off?

 

[vatoloco]

Holy fuck! And this is with a non-exclusive plate!? Shit, man! It's WAAAAY too much. Plus you've got the roles reversed! You're acting like the girl and she's acting like the man!

If I were you, I'd drop this shit immediately unless you want her to drop you fast!

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

You stop spinning plates when you find a quality girl that loves being with you. This girl isn't that.

 

[Falcon25]

I actually thought the girl was writing this. That's how far he's gone.

 

[LoneWolf]

okay okay guys, i didnt think i was doin THAT bad? i met her on a dating website and she put down she was after a relationship. ive been playing it cool and didnt contact her much at all the first few weeks until few days ago. i thought seeing as we've been past the 5th date or so its time to loosen up on those strict rules? all i did was text her saying i had a good time after friday and called on monday to say hi. its after that when i msg'd her facebook wall and text her the next day where i fuked up.

i mean we do all the gf bf stuff, hold hands, sit on my lap, have sex, gaze into each others eyes. its been a while for me guys and i havent felt like this about a girl in a very long time. i mean i thought seeing as how we had good times together it wouldnt hurt to text or call every couple/few days?? am i just not meant to contact her at all and wait for her to do so? dont wanna make her think im not interested by not talking to her thats all.

is it seriously that bad that i contacted her a few times? i thought thats what we do when we're in a relationship/getting to know each other.

can someone answer my question if i she contacts me on sat and wants to do something. do i blow her off or let her come out with me and my friend to the clubs.

 

[Falcon25]

Damn, Rabbit gave some good **** there. But, yeah frequency matters as well. Just be cool dude. You are on the path to being blown out. Very quick. Sex, staring at eyes, blah blah blah That means nothing when she becomes BORED of you.

 

[LoneWolf]

Ok ok ok...

Your problem has nothing to do with the frequency that you are contacting her and everything to do with the content in which you're contacting her. I'll use a metaphor to describe what I'm talking about here...

What dating for a women is like: A woman is a ship and a man is an island. Woman sail their ships all over the world and try to visit these islands. In this analogy - women visit the island (aka your life)! They want to see what activities are going on...what life is like on this island...because they may want to become a resident.

The problem is...guys often try to fit their island into the girl's ship. That's what you're trying to do here with this girl. Look at the messages you sent her - both of them are completely pertaining or rather supplicating to her.

So again...the frequency doesn't matter - it's the content. Further, I would add that at this point you should probably be communicating over the phone rather than in text or facebook message form (why are you facebook messaging her anyways?) BTW that question was rhetorical.

And really here's the bottom line - you should be contacting her for the sole purpose of another meetup. You don't need to be the one saying "Hey just thinking about you" or "I had a great time last night", etc...that's the stuff girls text me. Hope this helped.

thanks man, that did help. i just hope i haven't killed it with her because i do really like her. just wondering if i should invite her out sat night clubbing.

Damn, Rabbit gave some good **** there. But, yeah frequency matters as well. Just be cool dude. You are on the path to being blown out. Very quick. Sex, staring at eyes, blah blah blah That means nothing when she becomes BORED of you.

god i hope not. i have been single for so long because of how hard it is to find a nice girl. i hope i didn't screw up because of those little mistakes. i am definitely gonna cool down from now.

 

[Falcon25]

Wolf,

I feel you, I'm not hear to fuvk with you. I have been getting laid a lot but haven't found a nice girl in three years. I'm 8 yrs older than you. But, just remember, do not let her sense this enthusiasm. Let her think you have girls like her all over you. Cool down, just take it easy. Don't let her get bored by seeing you all the time. Just don't get all googly eye over her, that's her job to you. Just prepare for the worse. I know it sucks, but you can't show too much enthusiasim. She will eat you like a wolf, and move on to the next sheep.

 

[LoneWolf]

i hear ya man. well what would you suggest if she contacts me on the weekend to hang out? we only see each other once a week (every sat or fri) so its not too much. or should i give her a miss this time?

 

[Falcon25]

No, don't give her a miss. Hang out if she offers. It's what you do after that matters. If you hang with her on Sat, call her Monday (unless she contacts you), when she contacts you, wait a while till you reply. I know it sucks buddy. But you have to play this game if you want to win. When you talk to her Monday, don't talk again till Thursday when you make plans. You are busy. Just be cool. I'm glad you found a nice girl, but just remember, anyone can find a girl, the hard part is to make her fall in love and be obsessed with you. That's where my advice comes in on these forums. My goal is to have women swoon over me. Not just to get laid. You have to learn how to keep them.

 

[ELMER_GANTRY]

you don't need to text or email her "I had a great time with you last night" and the beating you basketball facebook stuff. She is your gf. the way you are texting and writing her is like you just started hanging out. start talking with other girls and let her see you writing them and the her IL will move back up......Good luck and hope it works for ya