Am i being too hard on her? (text message exchange)

returningchamp

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about 9 months of an open-relationship with this woman (she's the longest FB i've ever had lol)...

she called me this afternoon after we had a hot and heavy email exchange and said she was skipping her first class to come see me (so we could drink and have cheese eggs)... that was around 5... around 5:30 she text me and says she's going to class but is going to only go to half of it and then she's coming over (this would mean she gets out at 8)... here's the remainder:

HER (7:15): I like this professor. He said we can get out at 9.
Me : That's good. So u staying till then? Ur gonna come over and drink that late?

HER (7:24): Yes. I feel bad leaving and i wanna learn haha [strike 1]... I just won't drink. [strike 2]
ME : So ur not drinking and ur going to most likely come over and have a time limit that'll make you go home soon after you get here? just go home and we'll reschedule.

HER (7:32): Haha. So funny. I always have a time limit! [strike 3] Yeah. I'm hungry.
ME : No time limit or no time! =) hmmm... I got some good eggs too. ha

Her (7:41): U know i have a time limit so i guess no time? That's not nice. I want cheese eggs.
Me : Darling [this is a joke thing i call her], i never claimed to be nice or gentle. well... I'll be sure to enjoy them...

HER (7:55): Haha u said darling. Thanks a lot! Why don't i just come have dinner with you?
Me : Oh my darling oh my darling.... oh oh oh.... get that sh!t b!tch! yeah like that! [that's how i talk to her in bed!]

HER (8:00): Shut it [this is what she says when i'm turning her on when we can't do anything about it]
Me : Gladly

HER (8:03): Haha... Okkkk... So r u really eating cheese eggs?
Me: Most likely. It's the fastest thing i can cook after my workout. And i'm going across the street and drinking too. Just like i said I was doing =)

HER: (8:11): R u serious? So ur drinking and eating my favorite thing?
Me: When i get back - yup. And i'm going now... ttyl

HER (8:13): Fine, whatever...


NOTES:
- She's 22, I wouldn't say she's low or high self esteem... but she's definitely a freak...
- She has a time limit for a reason i don't feel like getting into (parents, still talking to ex, etc)... yet, she's willing to abandon it some days and not others! and there's nothing worse than having sex with a girl who tells you you only have 30 minutes left to do it in!!!!


I mainly just want to see what people think? was i too hard on her? i don't feel like i was, but i have "pushed away" a lot of women by being so "rough and mean" with them... i'm trying to find the balance... don't wanna be a jerk, but don't wanna be a beta either...
 

horaholic

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What the fvck are 'cheese eggs?' Why have I never heard of this cuisine you speak of?

I think you handled it OK. If she were your GF, maybe you could have been just a little nicer, but shes not. Why should you cook her dinner so she could leave right away, probably to go bang her ex?
 

BetterThanBond

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i would have done the same just alot quicker, maybe im ruthless
 

touge

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Lol not too hard at all me thinks

She sounds crazy lawl 22 and time limit of what the f...
 

returningchamp

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horaholic said:
What the fvck are 'cheese eggs?' Why have I never heard of this cuisine you speak of?
just take about 4 eggs, beat them in a bowl - throw 1/4 cup of cheese in it - scramble them... and that's that haha... it's good...

but to me - they and the alcohol just represented the fact she wanted to come over... she can make those cheese eggs herself and drink herself... but she uses them as a crutch...

I think you handled it OK. If she were your GF, maybe you could have been just a little nicer, but shes not. Why should you cook her dinner so she could leave right away, probably to go bang her ex?
Cool, and thanks for all the other replies. I guess i'm finally starting to not show my temper as much (something i realized i needed to work on about 8 months ago; realized that getting angry is just as bad as being needy to a woman).

as far as him banging her - yeah maybe... i don't care though... but she's making a big mistake getting back with him... he calls her all the time, is as needy as ever, and constantly accusing her of sleeping with other guys (even though they're just "working on things" - not dating) this is why she has to be in by a certain time, beacuase he calls her house phone every night to make sure she's not out! LOL.... i stay out of it though man... she's allowed to make her own mistakes...
 

bukowski_merit

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this conversation was fine (don't think you were mean and controlled your emotions quite well)... you made it clear on what conditions you'll hang out with her, and she understands them... now the ball is in her court to meet those conditions... and in your court to make sure you don't let her hang out with you unless she's meeting you on your terms (at least the next time you hang out)...

i agree that it could have been cut short... i woulda kept it as short as what is below... everything you said after that - wasn't neccesary, but it's not a big deal...

returningchamp said:
HER (7:15): I like this professor. He said we can get out at 9.
Me : That's good. So u staying till then? Ur gonna come over and drink that late?

HER (7:24): Yes. I feel bad leaving and i wanna learn haha [strike 1]... I just won't drink. [strike 2]
ME : So ur not drinking and ur going to most likely come over and have a time limit that'll make you go home soon after you get here? just go home and we'll reschedule.

HER (7:32): Haha. So funny. I always have a time limit! [strike 3] Yeah. I'm hungry.
ME : No time limit or no time! =) hmmm... I got some good eggs too. ha

Her (7:41): U know i have a time limit so i guess no time? That's not nice. I want cheese eggs.
Me : Darling [this is a joke thing i call her], i never claimed to be nice or gentle. well... I'll be sure to enjoy them...
i woulda added the - "gotta go now, ttyl" part to the end of that last message and that would have been it...
 
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