am I being an AFC

[kk2004]

Im trying to be as nice to my gurl as I can, I treat her right, I say nice things, I pay for her to go to the movies sometimes and I joke around with her. I just felt that our relationship was dwelling on the negative so i decided to put it into the positive. I was getting mad at her, and treating her badly, i was disrespecting her and ignoring what she wanted. She would cry, she did twcie cuz of me, she is a drama queen. I just felt that there was a lot of negativity, partly cuz of this site, cuz i was starting to hate women, i was starting to loathe them, i was hating on her. And i decided to stop and just be nice. I was hating them cuz of all the **** they pull. BUt then i learned to let it go cuz guys pull alot of crap too. There not that many afc's out there lesser than u may think they are. At least not in NYC.

So im being nice to her and showing her my dominant side once in a while and making some comments like we where talking about sex and i siad.

me: you know just cuz im nice doenst mean i cant be rough
her: i know
me: Im gonna nail you to the fu*kin wall, ur gonna love it
her: (giggles)

i mean i do that from time to time but i want to he happy with her, a relationship is supposed to make u happy, so im not gonna look at my gurl as some evil keniving bicth, just a gurl.

I think this is the good balance between a jerk and a nice guy.

 

[The Bartender]

You even having to ask this question makes you AFC.

Develop your style of DJing, yes you can be nice, yes you can say nice things, as long as you remember one thing:

You have the balls

 

[kk2004]

yeah i realli didnt want to ask it, cuz in my mind i dont think i am, and why wouldnt i have the balls. I dont need balls with a woman, i mean u do whats best for both of you and u dont let the person take advatage of u but i know my gurl wont she cares alot about me.

what do u mean have the balls. I mean we always decide what we want and we ask each other and we usually want the same thing.

Like what do u mean to have balls. Like why shud u be scared, hence no need of balls.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

didnt even read ur post, but, yes you are an AFC.

 

[kk2004]

lol

lol okay if u say so. U havent given me a reason. i guess the topic was bad, its not being an afc but maybe lossing power or being wussy. I mean is this allowed are u still following the laws of atrraction by doing the things I mentioned thats what i meant to ask.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

I think your a fraud, your not really a dominant male, your just doing a bad job at playing a role made for a better actor.

All this just because Im nice doesnt mean that im not rough sh*t is weak. It's like your qualifying your own toughness, like you have something to prove.

 

[08aisaac]

I agree with SeLF-MASTERY. You are not a true DJ. You have let yourself be pushed around by a women and you use the excuse that she loves you, but she is still a women. Alot of her choices are based on emotion and you are playing along with it.
You yourself sound very emotional. lol. Just decide if the relationship is worth it and if it isn't then ditch the bi*ch.

goodluck

 

[The Bartender]

If you gotta ask and agree on everything you guys do - you have no balls.

 

[So pimp its scary]

I'm not sure if this is what bartender was trying to say, but if you have to ask "Am I being an AFC?" The answer is probably YES.

 

[JonJack]

It's true that you have to be confident and have conviction in what you do. You don't really need to seek approval from anyone as long as you know that what you're doing is what you want to do. The people that seek advice are mainly the ones that are unsure about themselves. They feel that they need to do the "right" thing and try and figure out what it is from others.

So, if you're happy doing what it is you're doing with your girl right now, continue with it. It might turn out that your girl would leave you at the end of the day, but then no one can tell you with any certainty that there are things that you should be doing to make it last forever. And if you know that relationships don't last forever, then whether it ends sooner or later shouldn't have any significance. What's more important is whether you're enjoying yourself or not.

 

[frivolousz21]

sounds like you are afraid of the fear of loss.


but what your afraid of is that your not confident in who you are.

just lastnight...i had some **** go down with my mom..and that upset me....

and I almost cried in front of my women...but I dont feel AFC because im an emotional passionate person...infact she was very supportive and started talking like she was so happy she got to witness something that emotional from me..and we stayed up all night talking and becoming closer..because she knows my male dominace and who I am..I dont have to act anythign I dont want to be.

try it!:woo:

 

[kk2004]

ic

u guys raise some really good points, yeah ur right, thats the only time i actually spoke about my dominance to her, yeah and i am emotinonal guy. Its just that i dont see how saying a few nice things makes me not dominant. Im okay, i know i need to have balls and that means bacially, pulling away when she is not pleasing me.

 

[The Bartender]

Re: ic

Originally posted by kk2004
Its just that i dont see how saying a few nice things makes me not dominant. .

It doesnt yet...but go read nice guys & jerks

If you want to be the nicest boyfriend she's ever had, you'll also be the one she cheats on witha guy like me. Suit yourself tho, I've been on both roads and I like this one more.

 

[kk2004]

i kno

yeah i know the diffrence, and jerks basically i guess treat their woman like **** and i dont want to, she deserves better than the other stupid women. Remb its not always about u, im saying those things to make her feel better about herself cuz i was mean and we where getting into arguments. I wud be flat out mean to her. Call her fat or imply it.

Like im past the part where i have to keep neg hitting her. I mean ill do it once in a while but ill tone it down.

But ur right man so i also gotta pose as the strong man, and the dominant guy. I guess i can be postitive and dominant at the same time. Being nice all the time kills the spark that the jerk builds. But then the jerk kills it by being tooo much of a jerk.

 

[The Bartender]

Re: i kno

Originally posted by kk2004
Remb its not always about u

Come tell me this after you've been dumped or cheated on. My life and what I do are always about ME.

the rest of your post was ok, i guess

 

[frivolousz21]

Treat her like u would treat ur friends or family that u care for

 

[kk2004]

i do

You dont always have to be selfish, u can be nice just to be nice. And yes i treat her like i do my friends and family. She is some one who give me happiness and i share it with her, she shares her. But i never act like a bit*ch. its the middle ground i aim for.

 

[frivolousz21]

be a man..


a gentleman.....

my girl repsects the hell out of me..and im no jerk

 

[kk2004]

i know

but what is the definiton of being a man. its strength and manliness but what else

 

[frivolousz21]

being confident in who u are!