Am I a mature male (respect)

[SELF-MASTERY]

I can chat up just about any receptive female old or young. My problem which I have complained about before is how I look... I look to young, I'm 25 and last weekend some1 asked if I were in high school. Most of the things that are preached on here to make one more approachable works against me; I am friendly in a controlled way, I smile alot, will share a laugh with anyone. It seems like my young looks combined with my fun-loving nature can be misconstrood (spelling) for immaturity. I have people make false assumptions about me; lifes not a game, everything isnt all laughs, you have it easy, when your older. Hell, I am older, my life isnt all laughs;I have some serious dark emotions, they should be glad I cover them with a smile. It appears that I build rapport easily, but respect is always lingering to far away.

 

[milesman]

I'm about the same age and facial hair did the trick for me. As far as the smiling goes-I have found that UNCONTROLLED grinning can cause people to think that you don't have control over your emotions-hence a younger guy. Something I'm working on myself.

 

[DJDamage]

The following things you can do to make yourself appear older:

1) Get a different haircut - maybe that hair cut you currently have is making you look a bit too young. Usually a medium length kept hair is good.

2) Get a tan - tanning hides imperfections on the face and ages you.

3) Build your body and eat a lot of meat - Often when people are too skinny or too fat they look younger in the face or body. When you work out your face and body would look more square and more mature . Portein also makes things in your body grow faster and ages you as well.

4) If you are a t- shirt, jeans and sneakers type of guy and you are young looking, don't be surprise for people to mistake and think you are still in highschool. Try different cloths like a polo shirts or button down shirts. Also try black pants/chinos and leather black shoes.

5) Don't shave often - shave every 2-3 days, you will look older with a 5 o'clock shadow.

6) A nice watch would make you look sophisticated as well, even a nice pair of glasses would do the trick too(if you really need to wear one).

7) Smiling - Your smile needs to be more discreet. If you have a smile on your face all the time, it looks wierd. You are better off having a c0cky smirk when you tell a joke and only laugh when they tell one. Also it is also good to keep the girls guessing when you tell them something by not smiling and see if they think you are serious or just playing around. If you are happy all the time it is like you are revealing to them that you got a royal flash in a poker game and thus everyone fold and you don't win.

8) Your voice- Confident low tone strong voice also helps. If you are shy and you end up talking too fast or too slow with a high pitch or quiet voice, people will assume you are younger. Work on that as well.

 

[drixsa]

The guy above me hit the nail on the head but i can't stress dressing well enough.

A watch while nice is never noticed at first while glasses can make you look like a completely different person.

 

[scordate]

oooooh been there too

i could easely lie myself 5 - 10 years younger and this is a big problem with online dating, cause I do not want to lie in my basic info, ya know ?

so lots of good looking younger women just check age and send mail back; sorry but you are a bit older than what I search for

this perhaps is one negative thing with inline dating ?

/ scordate

 

[al77]

Originally posted by scordate

i could easely lie myself 5 - 10 years younger and this is a big problem with online dating, cause I do not want to lie in my basic info, ya know ?

so lots of good looking younger women just check age and send mail back; sorry but you are a bit older than what I search for
this perhaps is one negative thing with inline dating ?

If you wear a cool suit, it will add you a couple of years. If you wear a decent goatee it will add nother a couple of years. Try to takes pics then..

 

[al77]

Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
I can chat up just about any receptive female old or young.

How do you actually chat up a female starnger? Assume you are in a convo already, i.e. you come up with an opener and ready to actually talk. What would you talk about with a complete stranger? What topics\questions you use?

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

How do you actually chat up a female starnger? Assume you are in a convo already, i.e. you come up with an opener and ready to actually talk. What would you talk about with a complete stranger? What topics\questions you use?

As I tell my friends; I have no game!!!
I'm an observationist, I'm might notice something a lady is reading, or some other trivial sh** that turns into a conversation or some fun banter. I've learned how to respectful invade someones space. When I open up people are normally willing to give a lil of themselves....Also, Im pretty good at the direct approach.


My style of dress fits my age, but not my culture. Im not a grinner, Ihave to shave for my job. Its not like I have a constant smile on my face. I guess there are worst things than lucking happy.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
I'm an observationist, I'm might notice something a lady is reading, or some other trivial sh** that turns into a conversation or some fun banter. I've learned how to respectful invade someones space. When I open up people are normally willing to give a lil of themselves....Also, Im pretty good at the direct approach.

Quit bragging, start sharing

On my way to work I see tons of college females: young, very generically gressed: usual jeans, some very other dull clothes and a backpack. Sometimes I thought the school imposed school uniform on them...Anyway, when you dont see anything unusual, trivial, how would you develop the convo?
How do you respectfully invade her space?
How do you open up people?
Can you elaborate on that a bit more?

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

On my way to work I see tons of college females: young, very generically gressed: usual jeans, some very other dull clothes and a backpack. Sometimes I thought the school imposed school uniform on them...Anyway, when you dont see anything unusual, trivial, how would you develop the convo?

If I can't develop a conversation using some kind of observational element; I just go for a direct approach, but it is rare that I dont find something through observation to start a conversation about.

example: a cutie was in the mall parking lot loading her car with shopping bags and I got some eye contact and I say "Hey you forgot to buy me something," her response " I left your bags inside," I introduce myself, she give me her name.. we shoot the sh** normal stuff I number close, Hey give me your number, "I would like to talk later" When I'm on top of my sh** it normally works like that...

I actually had a failed non-observational attempted cold approach last week with an older women. It took place at the gas station. I notice this attractive 40-something and I was nervous about going forward, because I couldnt find anything to work with. I walk over to her pump introduce myself, and asked "now what are you about." she gave me her name told me about her bs job, and when I went for the number she flattened me. Your sweet, but to young. Two words I hate young and sweet. Anyway that is how I work....Not flawless, but it works for me...

 

[al77]

Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
If I can't develop a conversation using some kind of observational element; I just go for a direct approach,

example: a cutie was in the mall parking lot loading her car with shopping bags

"now what are you about." she gave me her name told me about her bs job, and when I went for the number she flattened me. Your sweet, but to young. Two words I hate young and sweet. Anyway that is how I work....Not flawless, but it works for me...

So you go for direct approach... interesting. It require a hell of a confidence.
By the way, bags were a good convo prop you found.

Older gal: probably you get a bit nervous since it was not easy to come up with a decent opener but you want it. She sensed it also in "now what are you about"... My point is if sometimes you stuck, just dont go for it - it is not going to work. Maybe just as some practice...

Stilll.... I guess we were talking not about openers... but how you develop a convo. What kind of questions you ask? Are they all situational?

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

What kind of questions you ask? Are they all situational?

On a pick up most of my questions initially develop from observation. I do ask general q's about work, school, and the normally things ppl ask about. I dont spend too much time asking questions, because I would rather get into her mind later, like on a date or on the phone. The PU gauges attraction-- I think anyone can pick up a receptive women. Receptive= attractive to you. My theory is only women who want to be picked up are. You can work on rapport all you like, bit if attraction isnt there your chances of PU are slim.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
On a pick up most of my questions initially develop from observation. I do ask general q's about work, school, and the normally things ppl ask about. I dont spend too much time asking questions, because I would rather get into her mind later, like on a date or on the phone. The PU gauges attraction-- I think anyone can pick up a receptive women. Receptive= attractive to you. My theory is only women who want to be picked up are. You can work on rapport all you like, bit if attraction isnt there your chances of PU are slim.

So it is usual thing: work, school...hm... I thought chatting people up require somehting not very usual. Ok.

I would apprecite advice on elicicting her IL too. Some gals have quite good social skills and naturally friendly or used to be friendly. You talk to her, she smiles... chat with you.. show decent\average body language with "Not thank you" in the end.
How do you gauge her attraction, receptivity besides body language?

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

I talk about everything music, politics, anythings is open to conversation.. The normal school, work, is just to have a reference point....

My experience is......

Some women are just friendly and will chat ya up for an hour, but not have any attraction to you. If I get any openness I approach-- if she finds me worthy, then I close get a number or a date.

After your dating it seems that interest level is sometimes harder to gauge, but a women with an interest in you will be available to you. I dont play games- like hot n cold. I call her she calls me, if Im always having to call, I'll let her know.. "it appears that the only time we get together or talk is when I initiate it, and I dont like that," or something like that. When dating I like to be clear about what I want. Women's magazines are always talking about training your lover, I see the above as framing how I want to be treated.