"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Am I a Looser?

Y

YeeZus

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So me and my EX use to work together but then she had to switch her job and everything fVcked up. Once she switched the job she dumped me and got into a new relation which she ended and we were back together.

This January she dumped me again and the thing is I got a new offer form the same company she is currently working. I accepted it not to lie but I wanted to show her I am doing fine and also making lot of money. We came in contact again this June and were hanging out until Oct until she told me she was getting married. I am in MC since then (1+month or so)

My current job sucks. This is not the kind of job I was expecting and neither I am interested in. This job makes me stressed out mainly the reason being I am not able to perform or maybe I am incapable of doing this job. The only good thing is Money that I am earning right now.

I am planning to quit this job and get back to my same firm where I was working earlier. the only problem is MONEY. i will be earning the same amount of money that I was earning back then. This makes me feel that I am getting back to square 1. But the point is I will be happy with the kind of people and environment I will be working in.I'm 28 and people of my age has already started earning big and definitely my EX's going to be husband is making way more than I will.

Will moving back to my old job with less salary make me a Looser for her?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Y

YeeZus

Don Juan
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Any advise would be better or an explanation on what am I doing wrong here.
 
B

Between_The_Lines

Master Don Juan
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You're not concerned over whether or not you're a loser, you're concerned whether or not your ex who is now MARRIED perceives you as a loser. You are preoccupied over how a taken woman sees you. How do you see yourself? That ought to be your main worry, and the answer to that question (for the moment) seems to be "quite poorly" (no pun) - that's what you're doing wrong. Come on dude, I know it's one hell of a hike up that mountain, but NO ONE comes even close to being your own worst enemy than you yourself - not your ex, not her husband, not society, not your boss, it's all YOU.
 
Y

YeeZus

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Thanks Between_The_Lines your comments are always helpful. But the thing is most of the Bro's out here keep saying move forward, be a better person, make success in the career and here I am taking a step back where I started.

So this is not entirely for her this for me as well and for my future. So just let me know if I am making a right move.

FYI we still work together and I have to see her everyday that kinda sucks for me as well.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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I

Igetit!

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YeeZus said:
Any advise would be better or an explanation on what am I doing wrong here.
Click to expand...
Re-read what "Between_The_Lines" said.

What you're "doing wrong" is looking TO OTHERS to define and decide who YOU are.

What you're doing wrong is trying to decide on a career path based on how you think some OTHER MAN'S WIFE (soon to be) will view you.

Yeah,she's your ex......but she's another man's WIFE.


You said you'd be happen going back to your old job.....happy with the people,happy with the environment.....but you're hesitant cause of what you think your ex might think. Huh? Why do you care?


She moved on with her life.....has a new job,new MAN......about to walk down the ailse with him,change her last name to his. She's gone on with her life.

Why don't you?


You going back to your old job doesn't make you a looser.

You worrying about what your ex might think about it does.
 
B

Between_The_Lines

Master Don Juan
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YeeZus said:
So this is not entirely for her this for me as well and for my future. So just let me know if I am making a right move.
Click to expand...
"Not entirely"? So, what, it's partially for her? Just a little bit, not a whole lot? Just a tiny little wittle bit for her? I'll tell you straight up what makes you a "loser"...that, making a move for a girl who has crossed you out.

Any "move" that you make from this point on that takes her into consideration (ex. what will she think of me if I do X instead of Y?) is "wrong".

Any move that you make from this point on that only keeps YOU and what is best for YOU and what YOU really want, is "right". Pretend that she doesn't exist and then ask yourself the same question: "what is the right move (FOR ME?"
 
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