Am I a douche for this?

[BeExcellent]

@Ronaldo7 yes I understand. Deception has its purposes of course but running a deception over the long term can eventually reach a point of diminishing returns.

Also known as the effort to keep up the rouse is more trouble than the benefits. Presumably this is the ideal jettison point. It can also be tiring and adversely affect one's reputation.

I'm old relative to the young guns here. I'd rather expend less effort and remain transparent (less mental energy expended in extending the deception), and instead keep options open by being non-committal and on a 'need to know' basis only.

As I said there are men here who deceive but who own their behavior (although certainly not to the recipients of the deception.)

OP is either asking a rhetorical question for sport or he is actually remiss about the outcomes his behavior has precipitated. If he is in fact remiss then he has behavioral choices to make going forward but in any case one must understand the potential consequences of his choices and move on from there.

 

[Sho-No-Luv]

They do tolerate it. Even after finding out.

It is the wise man who knows when to employ his exit at the most opportune moment.

C'est la vie.

Yep from 2011-2013 I kept five women in rotation and they all knew about each other, because I told them. Hmm, maybe if I had a kept my mouth shut I'd still have them. But thats just me and how "I" used to be.

Now? I'm more in tune with what brad said that and the fact that most females nowdays aint shhit and are good at covering their tracks.
And lie far more than men ever could. So, I wouldn't worry about it either way, I'm going to pretty much always have more than one woman in my life till the day I die and I've made my peace with that too. Now, that doesnt mean screwing more than one, but I've pretty much have always had backup plans(and when I didnt I got fuccked around) but your mileage may vary, lol!!!

 

[Dealler]

I have been dating this amazing woman for almost a year now. Thing is, I still keep in touch with an ex who I consider a very good friend. The more I hang with this ex the more attracted to her i am. We are setting on the couch one night (the ex and I), we start making out, and I take her to the bedroom. So, I cheated on my gf. I continue to hang with my gf like nothing has happened. I text ex again to come over with the intention of sleeping with her again, of which we do. Current gf still has no idea.

Ex tells me she still has feelings and would like to try things out again. I'm interested but tell ex I have to think about it. I'm still with my gf whom I'm sleeping with and has no idea I'm having these talks with the ex. The ex texts to hang out, we do. I initiate sex again. We sleep together another time at her place after which I leave and come back to my place because my gf is coming over for the night. Oblivious to the fact I just got laid an hour before I saw her.

I finally tell the ex I want to be with her. Ex agrees but is a bit worried about being a rebound. I tell her that won't be an issue. So ex and I are dating and I'm leaving current gf.

Problem is, after I leave my gf (let's call her girl 1) I start to miss her. So much so that i want her back. Her and I meet up and she stays over. We agree to get back together and work things out.

New gf (previous ex, girl 2) comes over the next day and can tell something is wrong. I lie to her about seeing girl 1. I can tell she's suspicious but I keep to the lie. I tell her I don't feel the same now and I want to get back with girl 1. Girl 2 is furious and tells me she never wants to see me again. I haven't heard from her in three months. I feel bad for assuring her of what I wanted and changing my mind about it like that.

So, in all, I cheated on girl 1 about 16 times with this person and she has no idea. She's still blissfully ignorant to it all and loves me even more now. I also ruined a good friendship with girl 2 because of how things went with that.

Am I an a**hole for what I did to them?

Your behaviour made me almost vomit. Disgusting.

 

[Tuttleycool]

Your behaviour made me almost vomit. Disgusting.

How so?

 

[Tuttleycool]

Should she be mad at me for this? What would be a reasonable response for someone in her situation?

 

[Tuttleycool]

Of course she should be mad. Who knows what's reasonable behavior for a woman who has just found out she has been cheated on? Some women will take you back if they are still madly in love with you. Some will go cold turkey and never speak to you again. And some will take you back only so they can hurt you back and make you suffer.

In my experience, good high quality women will not tolerate you "spinning other plates" especially after the first few dates. So you have to keep it on the downlow. If you get caught, you deny, deny, deny. Unless you get caught red handed with your penis in another woman's vagina. In that case you have to let the chips fall where they may.

And what about girl 2? Should she hate me too?

 

[MrWiggles]

There's two bulls standing on top of a mountain. The younger one says to the older one: "Hey pop, let's say we run down there and **** one of them cows". The older one says: "No son. Lets walk down and **** 'em all".

 

[Slash Dolo]

Women do this all the time. Hell, people do this all the time in general, not even gonna be sexist. You let your emotions cloud your judgment. Dude, if you're happy at the end of the day, don't worry about being an "*******." Do what's best for you and what you wanna do.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Yes, you are a douche. You are a piece of dishonest scum who has created 2 more man haters for those of us with any sort of moral development to deal with.
Thanks.

 

[MrWiggles]

Yes, you are a douche. You are a piece of dishonest scum who has created 2 more man haters for those of us with any sort of moral development to deal with.
Thanks.

you sound mad you couldn't do it. What is 2 out of millioins??

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Maybe it is because I have done it and know how much hurt it causes everybody. It is easy to be a liar, and selfish with poor impulse control. It is harder to be honest, and monogamous.

 

[guru1000]

I just robbed a bank. Do you think I'm a bank robber?

Yes, you're a fvcken cheater. You agreed to exclusivity, but didn't.

Solution: Stop cheating or own who are (@BeExcellent). I fvcked over a good amount of women, but I make no apologies nor do I hide who I am. I'm upfront and shameless--and willing to lose.

Stop being a beta boy. Decide who you are and become one with it. Stop looking for others' approval of your character and decisions. Whether your character is righteous or Machiavellian, own it unapologetically.

Most importantly, if you choose not to be straightforward, then be prepared to lose.