You can get stuck into the mindset where you judge every action on its potential alpha or betaness. I admit I fall into this trap a lot myself.
Had a huge fight with my girlfriend. She did something I told her not to do, and I COMPLETELY blew up on her. Things became awkward for a couple days where it was like the Cold War. I didn't want to let up and apologize and my attitude was fvck it, she was in the wrong, she should make the effort to contact me and apologize me. Until then I'd do my own sh!t.
At one point I told one of my close friends about it. He was like "Dude why don't you just tell her what she did that you didn't like and at the same time tell her that you did overreact?" As soon as I heard that, it made sense, it was logical. And I knew I was over investing into every little action and detail. So I texted her to meet up and did exactly that. Told her what she did that I didn't like, and that I, Arcbound, was in the wrong for overreacting. What was her response?
She apologized. She made me more food. She made it up to me in many ways throughout the next week and let me know she wouldn't do it again. Had I made a super detailed long thread on sosuave, no doubt a lot of the advice would be centered on 'next her' or 'let her come to you and go no contact in the meanwhile'.
And there is merit to that kind of advice. But what I was guilty of here was taking it to the extreme. Every piece of advice on sosuave is a guideline. Not everything is set absolute on alpha or beta. Sure more 'alpha' never hurt, but sometimes we act like showing the slightest 'beta' tendency will cause the girl to leave us immediately for that super alpha man 2000. And that I learned, is an insecurity of its own.
Had a huge fight with my girlfriend. She did something I told her not to do, and I COMPLETELY blew up on her. Things became awkward for a couple days where it was like the Cold War. I didn't want to let up and apologize and my attitude was fvck it, she was in the wrong, she should make the effort to contact me and apologize me. Until then I'd do my own sh!t.
At one point I told one of my close friends about it. He was like "Dude why don't you just tell her what she did that you didn't like and at the same time tell her that you did overreact?" As soon as I heard that, it made sense, it was logical. And I knew I was over investing into every little action and detail. So I texted her to meet up and did exactly that. Told her what she did that I didn't like, and that I, Arcbound, was in the wrong for overreacting. What was her response?
She apologized. She made me more food. She made it up to me in many ways throughout the next week and let me know she wouldn't do it again. Had I made a super detailed long thread on sosuave, no doubt a lot of the advice would be centered on 'next her' or 'let her come to you and go no contact in the meanwhile'.
And there is merit to that kind of advice. But what I was guilty of here was taking it to the extreme. Every piece of advice on sosuave is a guideline. Not everything is set absolute on alpha or beta. Sure more 'alpha' never hurt, but sometimes we act like showing the slightest 'beta' tendency will cause the girl to leave us immediately for that super alpha man 2000. And that I learned, is an insecurity of its own.
