Always Next A Girl For Having A Kid?

[joverby]

I admit that's a pretty huge deal. But I feel there may be some situations were a chick having a kid can be acceptable. Please feel free to disagree though.

A week 1/2 ago I signed up on Match.com(Feel free to laugh IDC) Well, this girl messaged me. She's 25(I'm 23), hispanic. Has her bachelors in photography, has a couple jobs related to it. She is doing some 5K runs, said wants to upgrade to half a marathon soon(which is 13 miles I think). Like I said she is hispanic and mentioned how she goes with her mom to see her moms family weekly, so very tight family connections.

Obviously I don't really know any bad things about her yet. Other than she has a 4, soon to be 5 year old daugther. In her description also talks about how she's probably the most neutral person you'd meet and she doesn't have a very strong opinion on most things. So I definitely will/would have to step up and lead all the time.

Normally I know dudes DQ(disqualify) chicks immediately for having a kid. But honestly this chick has her sh1t together more than I do at the moment. I'm currently improving myself/situation. I would just think it would be a little unfair to DQ her for the kid when she has her sh1t more together than I do.

I got her # and she's going to try to make it to my bands next show. We are playing for 4 hours at a camp ground and I"m going to camp out after we're done. So probably a good chance to get the gina tingles / getting laid. We'll see. I'm going to meet up w/ her regardless of opinions, I just respect your guys's and would like some different inputs.

Side note, she was definitely the one showing WAY more interest. Asking me like 5 questions per exchange.

 

[Borknagar]

Every situations different, but if her having a kid leads to flaking, and never getting together, just next, but make sure you shag the milf first!

 

[Iceberg]

You make your own decisions, obviously. This site isn't like a doctor's recommendation. There's no science behind it. People just have the opinion that a girl with a child isn't worth the extra drama/responsibilities.

If you like the girl, then do what you gotta do.

 

[oneboy21]

Has her bachelors in photography, has a couple jobs related to it

that's a red flag to me. Photography, hair stylist these jobs are low level jobs
not really a intelligent/smart job for me.

rest is normal, those kind of chicks look for more attention than we think by posting tons of pictures of them on FB and Myspace. Check out their FB page

 

[r0cky]

Always Next A Girl For Having A Kid?

Yes, otherwise you'll go to hell.

 

[joverby]

Yes, otherwise you'll go to hell.

Good thing I don't believe in Hell....:rockon:

[Edit]: I also think you have the best post thus far iceberg. Very true. Not exactly sure what I was going for here. Other than I know I've always seen people reccommend to avoid chicks with kids like the plauge and I thought I found a possible exception to this "rule."

 

[Iceberg]

that's a red flag to me. Photography, hair stylist these jobs are low level jobs
not really a intelligent/smart job for me.

rest is normal, those kind of chicks look for more attention than we think by posting tons of pictures of them on FB and Myspace. Check out their FB page

You equate a degree in photography to a hairstylist job?

Jesus. What are you, some kind of corporate drone numbers-cruncher?

 

[Robert28]

Good thing I don't believe in Hell....:rockon:

[Edit]: I also think you have the best post thus far iceberg. Very true. Not exactly sure what I was going for here. Other than I know I've always seen people reccommend to avoid chicks with kids like the plauge and I thought I found a possible exception to this "rule."

you will once youve dated a single mom lol

 

[Single4Life]

The single mom wants you to be the new daddy. If you're prepared to put up with all that bull**** and lose your $$$$$$ because you like this girl so much.......

plus, it's not cool to complicate the mother-child relationship if you have no plans to stick around.

Next, imo.

 

[PokerStar]

short term they are fun
long term no so much fun.

 

[oneboy21]

ICEBerg: they are all same low level jobs.

Most of those chicks spend most of their time on Facebook posting pictures and making comments, Look around you will see many of them.
Since you are a senior i thought you might already know

You equate a degree in photography to a hairstylist job?

Jesus. What are you, some kind of corporate drone numbers-cruncher?

 

[joverby]

The single mom wants you to be the new daddy. If you're prepared to put up with all that bull**** and lose your $$$$$$ because you like this girl so much.......

plus, it's not cool to complicate the mother-child relationship if you have no plans to stick around.

Next, imo.

Ya, I agree. Any dude she looks at she's got to size up as daddy material. She HAS TO, to look out for the best interest for her kid. But I would also say it would be up to her knowing this to tread lightly w/ dudes knowing this.

I'm sure she supports herself/kid just fine. But no doubt I would eventually be spending my money. It is a tough situation because I don't really feel like I want to / am ready to be a father at all. But also feel this chick is pretty quality.(But don't we all think that initially?)

[Edit]: Oneboy, you might be right in some situations but this chick actually has a job(s) related to this work. So I wouldn't say she got her degree just to put pictures on facebook all day. I believe she does her own side business as well.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

People come on this site and read advice like it was the bible or something. There is no definite right or wrong it. If you don't mind it then it's ok. It's all about what you think.

 

[Iceberg]

ICEBerg: they are all same low level jobs.

Most of those chicks spend most of their time on Facebook posting pictures and making comments, Look around you will see many of them.
Since you are a senior i thought you might already know

Right... See, I'm a writer by profession. Well, to be extremely exact, I work in advertising. So I work with a lot of photographers, as it's necessary for photo shoots for products, etc.

And in addition to being talented, these guys (photographers) are making great money too.

So, naturally, since I actually work with photographers....and I actually KNOW photographers, I find it hard to believe that someone could consider their job to be on the level of some random hairstylist.

It's not even really a big issue. It's not like it's MY profession that you're belittling. It just seemed like you're making an uneducated statement. "Artistic profession = dumb, low level job". Just kinda seems like, uh, you don't know what you're talking about.

 

[DavenJuan]

I admit that's a pretty huge deal. But I feel there may be some situations were a chick having a kid can be acceptable. Please feel free to disagree though.

A week 1/2 ago I signed up on Match.com(Feel free to laugh IDC) Well, this girl messaged me. She's 25(I'm 23), hispanic. Has her bachelors in photography, has a couple jobs related to it. She is doing some 5K runs, said wants to upgrade to half a marathon soon(which is 13 miles I think). Like I said she is hispanic and mentioned how she goes with her mom to see her moms family weekly, so very tight family connections.

Obviously I don't really know any bad things about her yet. Other than she has a 4, soon to be 5 year old daugther. In her description also talks about how she's probably the most neutral person you'd meet and she doesn't have a very strong opinion on most things. So I definitely will/would have to step up and lead all the time.

Normally I know dudes DQ(disqualify) chicks immediately for having a kid. But honestly this chick has her sh1t together more than I do at the moment. I'm currently improving myself/situation. I would just think it would be a little unfair to DQ her for the kid when she has her sh1t more together than I do.

I got her # and she's going to try to make it to my bands next show. We are playing for 4 hours at a camp ground and I"m going to camp out after we're done. So probably a good chance to get the gina tingles / getting laid. We'll see. I'm going to meet up w/ her regardless of opinions, I just respect your guys's and would like some different inputs.

Side note, she was definitely the one showing WAY more interest. Asking me like 5 questions per exchange.

I think its great you are keeping an open mind, but be careful what advice you take from people Alot of ppl on these type of forums do more talk than walk.

One of the things Ive never understood is why ppl feel it necessary to DQ a women with a child because of her "availability". Would you not date a Doctor because she is not available at your beck and call?

You have to determine what YOUR expectations are from ANY woman, set your boundries, and play ball.

Alot of men here miss out on great opportunities because they listen to some of the BS here and put so many unrealistic expectations for these women, and wonder why they cant find a good girl.

Before you disqualify her, meet her and see what you think, THEN make a decision on if its worth pursuing. You may be surprised brother

 

[The_411]

Come on now. Nobody is saying that you automatically have to disqualify. What people are intimating is that there is high chance that you're going to either be dealing with baggage, working around her relationship with her kid, or you will build up resentment as the kid isn't yours and you're raising someone else's kid.

There's nothing wrong with it, it's just that you are putting obstacles in the way before you've gotten anywhere.

 

[Alle_Gory]

So, naturally, since I actually work with photographers....and I actually KNOW photographers, I find it hard to believe that someone could consider their job to be on the level of some random hairstylist.

To be fair there's crappy low end photographers and high end stylists that make lots of money.

 

[Iceberg]

To be fair there's crappy low end photographers and high end stylists that make lots of money.

This is also true.

 

[joverby]

Come on now. Nobody is saying that you automatically have to disqualify. What people are intimating is that there is high chance that you're going to either be dealing with baggage, working around her relationship with her kid, or you will build up resentment as the kid isn't yours and you're raising someone else's kid.

There's nothing wrong with it, it's just that you are putting obstacles in the way before you've gotten anywhere.

Very true about the preset obstacle. She is very interested so far and I can see a lot of quality shining through so far. Going to meet up with her when I play my show, so long as she comes.(Says she has to work but is going to try to make it; She'll probably be there.)

I'll most likely just give her a call next week to verifiy / build up a little rapport. I know some people say strike when the irons hot. But I don't think there's a need to call right away in this case.

Thanks for your input fellas. Rep'd everyone I could w/ decent / good advice.

Also very true about photographer vs. stylist arguement, but I'm not too worried about it. She seems to be doing fine as far as I know.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Some single moms just want to get laid, and are not daddy-shopping. And there are plenty of childless women who will pressure you for commitment before you are ready. All that matters is what makes you happy.

Is she Catholic? Many Hispanics are devout Catholics, and the pressure to get married would likely come from her family's religious values.