Always Hate This Scenario - Need Some Quick Advice

AttackFormation

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2014
Messages
2,982
Reaction score
2,354
Age
26
Location
Sweden
OP you are letting this dent you far too much.

I have a very simple policy for dates with women: I expect them to flake. This also naturally leads to a low investment of effort before she has invested in me. So, it does not matter to me what they say. It doesn't affect my mindset or my course of action. I just put in as little effort as possible and agree to whatever they say, whether it's an agreement to meet, a postponement, or an excuse to not meet (in which case they were never looking to meet, just get entertainment and validation - but my low investment policy minimizes my loss of energy from that).

My response would simply have been "Yea sure" and then I would have moved on, expecting her to flake, and proceeding accordingly.
 
Last edited:

Warning!

Do not subscribe to The SoSuave Newsletter unless you are already a chick magnet!

The information in each issue is too powerful for most guys to handle. If you are an ordinary guy, it is not for you. It is meant for the elite few – not the unwashed masses.

image

If you think you can handle it...

If you already have girls calling you at all hours of the day and night, showing up at your door, throwing themselves at you everywhere you go...

Then sign up below.

But if you're just an average Joe, an ordinary guy, no one special – and wish to continue being so – then skip this. It's too much power for you.

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
2,246
Reaction score
644
You: Sounds like you're a bit overwhelmed, and I understand. I hope you'll also understand that I don't want to put an exciting Friday in limbo until the last minute. Reach back out when the timing is better and maybe we can arrange something.
That sounds a little too aggrieved. Cut out the BS and be more direct:

Her: I'm still trying to figure out blah blah blah. Is it okay for me to get back to you in a couple of days?
You: I don't want to leave Friday plans until last minute. Text me next week and will set something up for the following weekend.

And that's it. If she texts you the following week, fine. If she doesn't, who cares. No sweat off your back. On to the next one.
 

2Rocky

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
272
Reaction score
179
M from E has a good point on the coffee date. I've had good luck online meeting women the same day for coffee. One met me 2 hours after returning my opener. Another met me for lunch on a Sunday as I was on the highway and said I'd be driving through her town in 30 minutes. I met another the same night for a drink, and she took care of business in the parking lot that night.

User the coffee date to determine if she is worth devoting a "Hunting" night of Fri or Sat ...when single women will be out in the wild...

Holidays are tough for scheduling stuff. I wouldn't penalize a woman too much for trying to fit family functions in around a dating life. I also wouldn't put my options on hold for a first date.
 

Dash Riprock

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2005
Messages
960
Reaction score
1,357
Location
Mile High City, USA
Kind of glad it happened though because I've never asked you guys how to handle it. I think it's honestly one of the only things left that still makes me scratch my head in both anger and confusion.

35 year old SMV 7 from NYC - Divorced - Wants kids - Pediatric doctor - extremely nice/well spoken. Seemed down to earth Enough from our messages, so I go in for the date the next day via text after I NC. I ask if she'd like to meet at a particular place for a glass of wine this Friday after work. 2 hours later this is her response:

"Hey there! I'm still figuing out the weekend bc I have to head home, but not sure when. Friday is likely good, but would it be okay to get back to you in a couple of days once I know for sure? And [the wine place] sounds lovely"

Not sure WHEN you're heading home? Why are you even on a dating site if you don't even have your life organized to the point where you can't set up a simple first date? Let me tell you, I've experienced this type of awful response before when asking some girls out and I can honestly say it usually doesn't end up well from what I've remembered. While I'm very curious what you all think, to me, the simple fact that this person, a 35 year old adult, doesn't find it weird to put me, another 35 year old adult, on hold for DAYS about hanging out, is not only bizarre and rather immature and teenage like, but I also feel as if its a slap in the face to the point that it shows she simply doesn't value me or my time in any way shape or form. How do you all think I should proceed?
OP,

You're totally lacking the Abundance Mindset. Based on this message you're highly susceptible to Oneitis too. You need to fix both ASAP. Who gives a f*uck if she can't meet? Why are you so freaked about this to the point of posting on a men's dating site about it?

Her: "Hey there! I'm still figuing out the weekend bc I have to head home, but not sure when. Friday is likely good, but would it be okay to get back to you in a couple of days once I know for sure? And [the wine place] sounds lovely"

Me: "Ok"

Then I start swiping or messaging new chicks and set up more dates or go out with some existing women, "my orbiters," if you will. Maybe I'll message her again in a week or two if she doesn't reach out first. Plus, people have lives outside of dating; career, kids, aging parents (perhaps), health, friends, hobbies, pets, etc., etc. Funny you're so put off by her response. It's pretty par for the course and benign.

You need to work on yourself, man-up and get tough, and not care so much.

Best of luck to you.

~Dash~
 

bcude

Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2019
Messages
189
Reaction score
198
Age
37
You should put minimal investment into women you haven't had sex with yet, let alone women you haven't even met.
Posting threads about it shows too much investment already, so it's alot about your mindset.
I think Attackformation said it well and i also agree with the sentence posted by Black Widow Void with a slight adjustment at the end if you really want to write something, but in this particular scenario i would just say "ok" and have other plans ready. That's your problem, you want to know because you don't have other dates lined up already.

"Reach back out when your schedule is more clear and let's see if I HAVE TIME."

not maybe we can this and that. You are the prize remember.

Point is minimal investment from your side and let her do the rest now.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2012
Messages
5,418
Reaction score
3,006
Is there still people in 2020 that plans date in advance with women? surely people more optimistic than me.

I usually set dates from 6 to 2 hours in advance and even then its usually a place not too far or too complicate to reach.

The amount of options they have is amazing while their fair play is getting lower by the day, I cant really imagine people setting dates days in advance with a modern woman.
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
7,356
Reaction score
6,393
Age
35
Is there still people in 2020 that plans date in advance with women? surely people more optimistic than me.

I usually set dates from 6 to 2 hours in advance and even then its usually a place not too far or too complicate to reach.

The amount of options they have is amazing while their fair play is getting lower by the day, I cant really imagine people setting dates days in advance with a modern woman.
This sh1t is therapeutic lol. I feel like most guys can never admit their struggles in the real world, where as a lot of us here with 3x the success are happy to do it.
 

AttackFormation

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2014
Messages
2,982
Reaction score
2,354
Age
26
Location
Sweden
This sh1t is therapeutic lol. I feel like most guys can never admit their struggles in the real world, where as a lot of us here with 3x the success are happy to do it.
It's an instinct to avoid getting on the bad side of preselection by women from gossip or direct explanation. Men only want to open up about struggles in private to men they trust. That is the core of how you can tell whether men are friends, as I remember Who Dares Win saying a while back.

Women experience apex/fantasy men as the default men and if that conception gets broken they could lose respect for you and spread the word too. We allude to this all the time when we say things like women don't want to be a man's only option. Women, even on this board allude to it when they say how much they like the idea of "changing" a hot player/exciting bad boy and how they like to be the one they choose out of a harem.
 
Last edited:
Top