Always feeling like I'm approaching a yellow light

[evoke]

... and I don't know if I should hit the gas, or wait out the red.

I still have feelings for a girl who gave me the "speech".

"I don't want to ruin what we already have."

In all honestly, I know it was my fault this happened. I wasn't being myself anymore. I was too busy trying out some of the bullshlt DJ techniques I found here, and lost myself somewhere along the way. I did everything I could to keep her, but I ended up doing everything to lose her.

So I did the only thing I knew, and walked away.

"I'm sorry, goodbye."

She put up a fight, but gave up when it was clear that I was hurt.

Eventually we ran into each other, she apologized, and I let her back in. After that it was an ever increasing circle of redundancy. I try and bail when things look hopeless for me, and she sucks me back in after a while, the last time after almost three months. I've screwed up on so many levels, but she STILL likes being around me.

So my problem is this: I don't know what to do around her anymore. Ever since the speech I've been too afraid to make a move. There's a little back and forth flirting, but nothing serious.

If she really just wants to stay friends, why does she go out of her way to hang out with me at some bar? I know there are other guys interested in her if she needs validation.

Should I be more assertive and kiss her again next time we're alone? She's already called herself the "man" in the relationship (what relationship?). Or should I stick to the "LBJF" thing, and see if goes anywhere on it's own. I already know that walking away from her doesn't work.

Advice please, and all the keyboard drones, with their DJ Bible memorization skills, please keep away. I want real people's opinions. Thank you.

 

[Bonhomme]

OK, here's a real opinion ...

... but you probably won't like it.

She's already called herself the "man" in the relationship (what relationship?).

That tells you all you need to know.

To hell with whether or not to kiss her, you have to stand up to her. Her attraction has dropped because she thinks of you as too much of a wussy.

You have to stop letting her suck you in. Give her "the speech." Sarge and go out with other gals. Yes, LJBF her. It's not about "DJ techniques," or any such bullsh1t, but it's about having some self-respect.

Then, after you've become the "man," if you're still available, you give her another chance, and the vibe is right, go for the kiss.

But there must be women who are more worthy of your affection with whom you can have enough mutual attraction to get with...

 

[evoke]

See, this is what I mean. Someone spending hours a day on a computer trying to tell me how to live life. Hey, how's the internet dating going?

Dude, it was a joke. She said it as a ****ing joke! Forget I mentioned it.

I'm trying to let her know she can still be comfortable around me. It took her so long to re-establish contact with me because she was scared. I'm an intense person to be around, and I ****ed up in a big way in front of her. She's one of the few who's cool enough to see past everything to get to know me. She's one of the few I even find worthy of getting to know me.

I've had a hard ****ing life. I's surprised I'm still here. I'm like this puppy that was abused it's entire life, treated like something lower than ****, and grows into a 275 pound pitbull with a bloodthirst. In a nutshell, I've been conditioned to hate ****ing everyone.

Somehow she saw through the tank armor and saw a person behind it all. For once in this godforsaken life, someone made me feel like a ****ing human. And just for that, for making me feel like something more than a monster, she's earned the right to give me a little **** here and there.

 

[Schlep]

Sorry, but Bonhomme is right. You've gotta get your stuff together and look for other opportunities. Keep her as a friend if you want, and maybe she'll come around when she sees you with other women. Maybe she won't and all she'll ever be is a friend.

Following her around like a puppy, worrying what you can do to get her to play with you will never work; I speak from experience.

 

[diablo]

I always run yellow lights as long as they are fresh. If it's been yellow for a while I'll stop, unless it's at the beginning of a bridge. Speaking of bridges, destroying one might look easy in the movies, but remember: They're designed to withstand the immense shear-forces of wind and weather. Deploying an underwater M-32 satchel charge at the base of each load-bearing pylon looks like the answer, but it might not even shake a modern riveted steel highway or railroad bridge. Without delving into the complex language of the guerrilla combat engineer, the best advice I can give you is to forgo subtlety in favor of brute force: Put two satchel charges at each X-shaped trestle buck, and this should rob the bridge of any reinforcing strength and cause it to buckle nicely.

 

[Marlimus]

hey

Diablo? What exactly do you do for a living?

 

[evoke]

Sound.