Alternative ways to start boot camp

[Arioch]

I haven't been on for so long, you wouldn't believe what I had to go through just to log in.

Today is February first. A new month. I just got back from an intense four week course in emergency medical technician training. A new me. During this course I broke up with my girlfriend because I was tired of the stress I was feeling being in a long-distance, long-term, exclusive relationship that had no definite prospect of becoming short-distance again. A new opportunity.

Plus, it's Thursday. This spells out to me: BOOT CAMP. I'm ready to go! Today! However, I'm already caught in a dilemma.

As you know, the first assignment in BC is to walk around making eye-contact and smiling and saying hello to people you don't know. I've been doing this for almost two years now, but I've never really kept track of how many people I greet before. I want to do so this week. However, I live in Chicago, and the weather forecast indicates to me that there aren't going to many people walking around outside. I suppose I could go to a mall or something, but I don't know if I can stomach that much consumerism right now. Does anyone have any suggestions for alternatives?

 

[kyphan]

Go to places you would want to meet women. Seriously. If you actually approach a lady you have the crazy weather to talk about and some hot cocoa and a few good movies back at your place to keep her company.

 

[thesynergist]

I haven't been on for so long, you wouldn't believe what I had to go through just to log in.

Today is February first. A new month. I just got back from an intense four week course in emergency medical technician training. A new me. During this course I broke up with my girlfriend because I was tired of the stress I was feeling being in a long-distance, long-term, exclusive relationship that had no definite prospect of becoming short-distance again. A new opportunity.

Plus, it's Thursday. This spells out to me: BOOT CAMP. I'm ready to go! Today! However, I'm already caught in a dilemma.

As you know, the first assignment in BC is to walk around making eye-contact and smiling and saying hello to people you don't know. I've been doing this for almost two years now, but I've never really kept track of how many people I greet before. I want to do so this week. However, I live in Chicago, and the weather forecast indicates to me that there aren't going to many people walking around outside. I suppose I could go to a mall or something, but I don't know if I can stomach that much consumerism right now. Does anyone have any suggestions for alternatives?

cold, crappy: mall. don't worry about the consumerism. you're there to sarge, not shop

malls are perfect. tons on people, tons of opportunities to hone your communication skills.

 

[thesynergist]

cold, crappy: mall. don't worry about the consumerism. you're there to sarge, not shop

malls are perfect. tons on people, tons of opportunities to hone your communication skills.

congrats on starting BC!

 

[Arioch]

Go to places you would want to meet women.

What a notion! Seriously. Where would I want to meet women? I've never considered the advantages or disadvantages to any places.

I guess my real problem is groups. I have no problem approaching a girl or a pair of girls so long as I have something to say. Larger groups are problematic for me. Maybe it's because I think about things too much, and can't just flow with the conversation.

I need to get better at making friends in general, in addition to getting better at picking up women. One thing I learned during the last month is that I am terrible in group situations. For some reason, whenever I speak I get the distinct impression no one else is paying attention to me, because people will just talk over me. If I speak up, people say I'm talking too loud. So then I just sit there and listen, which is nice, but no one remembers the great times they had with the guy who just sat there and listened while everyone else talked.

Are there any tips out there for this? I'm really terrible at this, and I don't understand why. It's not for a lack of trying.

 

[Arioch]

I pick up... groups?

I was just thinking about it. How should I talk to groups of people? I treat them as one person.

This doesn't really apply to the situation I just came from, a category of situations I call "summer camp" situations because no one knows each other at first, just like summer camp, or the beginning of college. But for several individuals who have already formed a group, why can't I approach a group and treat them as one person? Groups have histories. How did this group come together like this? How did each individual of this group come to meet each other?

I can't believe I never thought of it before. I always have had trouble with groups because there are so many individuals and it's hard to listen to them all at once, and if one immediately focuses on one individual and not on the whole group, the group reacts adversely. However, if one first approaches the whole group, talks about the group, and is accepted by the group, then one can continue to focus on a particular individual.

Holy crap! I'm a computer scientist, abstraction is what I do... and I just abstracted a social situation. I feel all tingly.