Alternative to online dating: Facebook groups?

[ThisNThat]

Outside of online dating, ever attempt to try contacting women via your Facebook groups? I'm a member of quite a few local Facebook groups for every occasion and was considering going that route.

Ever try that? I typically keep an eye out for those who actually have their relationship statuses listed as "single", but if they are attractive enough...and they have "nil" for a relationship status, I'll try to strike up a convo with them.

Every try that out?

 

[sazc]

I've been contacted by friends of friends on FB. I dont think it's a bad idea. You'll get a feel as to if she is into it fairly early on. Why not?

 

[9Volt]

Outside of online dating, ever attempt to try contacting women via your Facebook groups? I'm a member of quite a few local Facebook groups for every occasion and was considering going that route.

Ever try that? I typically keep an eye out for those who actually have their relationship statuses listed as "single", but if they are attractive enough...and they have "nil" for a relationship status, I'll try to strike up a convo with them.

Every try that out?

Haven't been on FB in a few years. If it works for you then do it. Not going to knock it.

 

[ThisNThat]

I've been contacted by friends of friends on FB. I dont think it's a bad idea. You'll get a feel as to if she is into it fairly early on. Why not?

Funny you mention the "friends of friends" thing. I had actually met a woman this way and dated her for a time. We share the same mutual friends. Anyway, things didn't work out, and I was telling another female friend about said woman...and "how we met"

Her response, (My female friend): "Don't ever do that with my female friends, I hate it when men TROLL my friends list for women."

I was like, "Well, you'd make a sh**ty wing woman, don't you?!"

She said, "I know you're a cool guy and all, but seriously, it's creepy!"

She even tried to get me to agree to NEVER do it with HER friends.

I also got the same reaction from a few female friends that using the "mutual friends" reason to break the ice with other women on THEIR friends list could "get around" and ruin your reputation. "Yeah, you friend, ThisNThat? He tried to chat me up on Facebook...creepy."

 

[SmooveMooves]

Unless you have model looks hitting a chick on Facebook that you do not know is a bad idea. The best way to use FB for women is to have an attractive profile and contact women that you know of. For instance if you saw and talked to a cute chick at Wal-Mart and then realized you were friends on FB. However, mass contacting 'mutual friends' is low value and weird. Back when I had FB I had tons of mutual friends but I really didn't know any of them at all. Not even who we were mutually linked with.

 

[ThisNThat]

Unless you have model looks hitting a chick on Facebook that you do not know is a bad idea. The best way to use FB for women is to have an attractive profile and contact women that you know of. For instance if you saw and talked to a cute chick at Wal-Mart and then realized you were friends on FB. However, mass contacting 'mutual friends' is low value and weird. Back when I had FB I had tons of mutual friends but I really didn't know any of them at all. Not even who we were mutually linked with.

When you say, "Realized you were friends with on FB." I"m not talking about people that are already on your friends list, I am talking about people you are not friends with.

However, mass contacting 'mutual friends' is low value and weird.

Well, that's a matter of opinion...I was able to successfully garner dates this way, but all the time.

Unless you have model looks hitting a chick on Facebook that you do not know is a bad idea.

So your suggesting if you have "model" looks, it's a GOOD idea? That's also, subjective...how can something be labeled a "good" or "bad" idea in this fashion? The "idea" itself in no way correlates to the physical appearance of the person.

I mean, I know what you're getting at, but I just see the logic in how it correlates on a subjective stance such as looks.

 

[sazc]

Funny you mention the "friends of friends" thing. I had actually met a woman this way and dated her for a time. We share the same mutual friends. Anyway, things didn't work out, and I was telling another female friend about said woman...and "how we met"

Her response, (My female friend): "Don't ever do that with my female friends, I hate it when men TROLL my friends list for women."

I was like, "Well, you'd make a sh**ty wing woman, don't you?!"

She said, "I know you're a cool guy and all, but seriously, it's creepy!"

She even tried to get me to agree to NEVER do it with HER friends.

I also got the same reaction from a few female friends that using the "mutual friends" reason to break the ice with other women on THEIR friends list could "get around" and ruin your reputation. "Yeah, you friend, ThisNThat? He tried to chat me up on Facebook...creepy."

Yes, I understand what you are talking about. I had a female friend who got upset whenever any of her Facebook friends simply friended any of her friends set. It was bizarre to me , but she felt like she was being used and her friends being poached right out from under her. Jealousy, essentially.
Indies situations, I always evaluate the immediate friendship and decide what I am going to do. Take it on a case-by-case basis. people get bizarre.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Now this, I can definitely recommend. I've had half a dozen dates, including one coming up and could have had more had I been bothered.

Things to bear in mind:

-It has to be a worthwhile group with genuine local people that you might actually meet, not just sock profiles and trolls.
-A lot of people are just there to pass the time and flame each other, so don't get baited, it doesn't look good.
-Join closed general discussion groups opposed to fan pages.
-Integrate oneself over the course of weeks or even months. There might be one or two women who will meet straight off, but probably not anyone worthwhile.
-It can't be treated the same as OLD; you can't just go in all guns blazing flirting with and PMing women. There's a good chance some members will already know each other and have even met in real life. It's a community, not just a hook up joint, so trust has to be earned. Something has to be brought to the group to gain any respect.

 

[ThisNThat]

Now this, I can definitely recommend. I've had half a dozen dates, including one coming up and could have had more had I been bothered.

Things to bear in mind:

-It has to be a worthwhile group with genuine local people that you might actually meet, not just sock profiles and trolls.
-A lot of people are just there to pass the time and flame each other, so don't get baited, it doesn't look good.
-Join closed general discussion groups opposed to fan pages.
-Integrate oneself over the course of weeks or even months. There might be one or two women who will meet straight off, but probably not anyone worthwhile.
-It can't be treated the same as OLD; you can't just go in all guns blazing flirting with and PMing women. There's a good chance some members will already know each other and have even met in real life. It's a community, not just a hook up joint, so trust has to be earned. Something has to be brought to the group to gain any respect.

Well, most of the groups I am a member of are global...so there's no point in dating anyone there. The local groups, where there's a possibiliyt of meeting them in person...are "community" groups. Informational purposes.

Sometimes you'd see someone post pictures of an accident at the intersection of 5th and Main St., or someone would post a "lost dog" photo, stuff like that. I mean, depending on what's posted....you'll see some mild banter here and there, but no real "getting to know you" banter.

Believe it or not, one of the women that is the main admin of these local community groups was on POF a while ago, but she's kind of throws her weight around on the site sometimes...you know, posturing. I tried to strike up a convo with her as I share her knowledge in social media/blogging, asked if I could add her...but she said she doesn't do that....and she's known me to post on her site for a while. I get the feeling she's more of grumpy spinster as she isn't too engaging and she tends to lash out on the board sometimes.

She's defintately got her **tch sheilds up lol

I'm also in a bit of a backwater community, so most women on the site are ink/tat infested with babies from on and off again redneck boyfriends. lol

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Well, most of the groups I am a member of are global...so there's no point in dating anyone there. The local groups, where there's a possibiliyt of meeting them in person...are "community" groups. Informational purposes.

Sometimes you'd see someone post pictures of an accident at the intersection of 5th and Main St., or someone would post a "lost dog" photo, stuff like that. I mean, depending on what's posted....you'll see some mild banter here and there, but no real "getting to know you" banter.

Believe it or not, one of the women that is the main admin of these local community groups was on POF a while ago, but she's kind of throws her weight around on the site sometimes...you know, posturing. I tried to strike up a convo with her as I share her knowledge in social media/blogging, asked if I could add her...but she said she doesn't do that....and she's known me to post on her site for a while. I get the feeling she's more of grumpy spinster as she isn't too engaging and she tends to lash out on the board sometimes.

She's defintately got her **tch sheilds up lol

I'm also in a bit of a backwater community, so most women on the site are ink/tat infested with babies from on and off again redneck boyfriends. lol

Nah, you need humour groups. Something where they discuss current affairs and a bit of sh!t-posting, a proper banter page. I didn't mean a community on the classic sense, those really are boring : "Errr the public library will be closed today between the hours of 1400 and 1500 for a staff meeting"....

 

[Von]

Its creepy until it works.

A guy I know add a girl I know (who had à picture of us tagged only). Or she acted him. Next thing i knew... she was writing me that the guy wanted to join us at this bar.

I thought he was a friend, and same for the girl. After this épisode, I removed them from my life.

Anyway, I don't know why people use the net for dating. However, everything is creepy until it work.

Just keep the respect in the game

 

[ThisNThat]

Nah, you need humour groups. Something where they discuss current affairs and a bit of sh!t-posting, a proper banter page. I didn't mean a community on the classic sense, those really are boring : "Errr the public library will be closed today between the hours of 1400 and 1500 for a staff meeting"....

Yeah, but if you click on the "Members" list, you'll come across a good amount of cuties though.

 

[devilkingx2]

Funny you mention the "friends of friends" thing. I had actually met a woman this way and dated her for a time. We share the same mutual friends. Anyway, things didn't work out, and I was telling another female friend about said woman...and "how we met"

Her response, (My female friend): "Don't ever do that with my female friends, I hate it when men TROLL my friends list for women."

I was like, "Well, you'd make a sh**ty wing woman, don't you?!"

She said, "I know you're a cool guy and all, but seriously, it's creepy!"

She even tried to get me to agree to NEVER do it with HER friends.

I also got the same reaction from a few female friends that using the "mutual friends" reason to break the ice with other women on THEIR friends list could "get around" and ruin your reputation. "Yeah, you friend, ThisNThat? He tried to chat me up on Facebook...creepy."

who cares what her friends list thinks of you? it's not your problem, and if it's her problem then too bad lmao

so long as you don't have any important women on your friends list who are dumb enough to listen to random gossip about you, you're good to go